*takes a deep breath and starts to type* Here we go...
Cut for your pleasure...
The past 9 days have been harrowing to say the least, and the past three filled with mixed emotions and many many different song lyrics floating through this journal and it's finally time for you, my loyal readers, to get the story behind the past nine days...
Last Monday, I met a guy online named Salem, who is from Leslie, about 20 minutes south of MSU... Adding to the story is that his family owns a cabin in the same ubersmall Upper Peninsula town as our family has owned one for almost 60 years.
So Wednesday he came up to see me, meet Kristen and Bridget, and sort of just to hang out. We hit it off really well, Kristen and Bridget loved him, and we all just had a great time in between classes for each of us that day. That night, he stayed the night at Kristen's with me, and we got up the following morning and sort of hung out again, spent a good deal of time talking and getting to know each other.
That evening, he went back home, with plans to return sometime around mid-afternoon Saturday to go out to Spiral that night.
Well, Friday night things got sort of hairy due to the situation within Kristen's family and the fact that I was staying at her dorm somewhat thrust me into the middle of it. In the middle of the insanity, Salem told me that he was going to come up that night instead of Saturday to see me! So Bridget and I rented Dodgeball and waited for his arrival, which, after a party, came around 3 a.m.
Saturday, we got up around noon, moving really slowly, sort of just chilled around the dorm playing Grand Theft Auto and talking online until we started to get ready to go out, around mid- to late-evening.
Well, our ride cancelled on us, so we were all dressed up and hot-looking (see entry from late Friday night for the photographic proof) with nowhere to go.
We ended up just somewhat chilling, playing more GTA, watching "Joe Dirt" and "The Other Sister"...along with episodes of "Dexter's Laboratory...before getting a few hours sleep that morning.
We got up Sunday, pretty much did the same routine as before: GTA, talking online, meals...and then we came back to my dorm and hung out a while once Kristen got out of work, cuz she was very sleepy lol.
That night, at around 7, Salem's dad came and picked him up, and the weekend was over.
Well, once he got back home, Salem decided that he needed to be forthright with me, and asked if we could be friends, rather than be in a relationship. Given all the interaction he and I had over that weekend, I was relatively shocked.
But then it hit me that I had only known him 6 days. I really cared deeply for him, but it wasn't unthought-of that the status of our relationship would change after meeting and getting to know each other. So, if anything, I now have a great friend and for that I'll always be amazingly grateful, because he really tried hard not to hurt my feelings...and he's going to be a great friend to have over the rest of my days.
I'm uncutting and publicizing what this whole experience has taught me, so that you, my friends, can help me through this period.
I realized that I've been cursed with a too-loving heart, so I might get hurt easier, or smother someone with too much affection at the start of a relationship, which has hurt me a lot at times in the past few months.
So, I'm removing myself from the "looking" market and I'm just going to have some fun and go with the flow. I removed my profiles from the various personals websites out there, deleted my account from a couple entirely. Because that's not me...that attitude of searching for a man as some people look for their weekly selection of steak...that's not how you find love. So, I'm going to seek solace in the friends, gay, straight, boy and girl, that I have, and relax and see where the passive approach gets me.
I love you all so very much, and ask your help in getting through this and every period of my life.
Always and forever,
Brian
the newest (and renewed) Heartbreaker
The past 9 days have been harrowing to say the least, and the past three filled with mixed emotions and many many different song lyrics floating through this journal and it's finally time for you, my loyal readers, to get the story behind the past nine days...
Last Monday, I met a guy online named Salem, who is from Leslie, about 20 minutes south of MSU... Adding to the story is that his family owns a cabin in the same ubersmall Upper Peninsula town as our family has owned one for almost 60 years.
So Wednesday he came up to see me, meet Kristen and Bridget, and sort of just to hang out. We hit it off really well, Kristen and Bridget loved him, and we all just had a great time in between classes for each of us that day. That night, he stayed the night at Kristen's with me, and we got up the following morning and sort of hung out again, spent a good deal of time talking and getting to know each other.
That evening, he went back home, with plans to return sometime around mid-afternoon Saturday to go out to Spiral that night.
Well, Friday night things got sort of hairy due to the situation within Kristen's family and the fact that I was staying at her dorm somewhat thrust me into the middle of it. In the middle of the insanity, Salem told me that he was going to come up that night instead of Saturday to see me! So Bridget and I rented Dodgeball and waited for his arrival, which, after a party, came around 3 a.m.
Saturday, we got up around noon, moving really slowly, sort of just chilled around the dorm playing Grand Theft Auto and talking online until we started to get ready to go out, around mid- to late-evening.
Well, our ride cancelled on us, so we were all dressed up and hot-looking (see entry from late Friday night for the photographic proof) with nowhere to go.
We ended up just somewhat chilling, playing more GTA, watching "Joe Dirt" and "The Other Sister"...along with episodes of "Dexter's Laboratory...before getting a few hours sleep that morning.
We got up Sunday, pretty much did the same routine as before: GTA, talking online, meals...and then we came back to my dorm and hung out a while once Kristen got out of work, cuz she was very sleepy lol.
That night, at around 7, Salem's dad came and picked him up, and the weekend was over.
Well, once he got back home, Salem decided that he needed to be forthright with me, and asked if we could be friends, rather than be in a relationship. Given all the interaction he and I had over that weekend, I was relatively shocked.
But then it hit me that I had only known him 6 days. I really cared deeply for him, but it wasn't unthought-of that the status of our relationship would change after meeting and getting to know each other. So, if anything, I now have a great friend and for that I'll always be amazingly grateful, because he really tried hard not to hurt my feelings...and he's going to be a great friend to have over the rest of my days.
I'm uncutting and publicizing what this whole experience has taught me, so that you, my friends, can help me through this period.
I realized that I've been cursed with a too-loving heart, so I might get hurt easier, or smother someone with too much affection at the start of a relationship, which has hurt me a lot at times in the past few months.
So, I'm removing myself from the "looking" market and I'm just going to have some fun and go with the flow. I removed my profiles from the various personals websites out there, deleted my account from a couple entirely. Because that's not me...that attitude of searching for a man as some people look for their weekly selection of steak...that's not how you find love. So, I'm going to seek solace in the friends, gay, straight, boy and girl, that I have, and relax and see where the passive approach gets me.
I love you all so very much, and ask your help in getting through this and every period of my life.
Always and forever,
Brian
the newest (and renewed) Heartbreaker