In which Italy has a problem
And in which I am a horrible person. Seriously, what is wrong with me.
Germany sighed. "We need to talk, Italy."
"Juuust after one more plate of pasta~ I'm fineseriously," Italy responded with a smile, his right eye twitching slightly as he restlessly twirled an unwashed spoon in his hands.
"Please, this is serious." Japan light placed his hand onto Italy's shoulder. "We are your friends, Italy, and we're here to help you with your problem."
"V-Ve, I don't k-know what you're talking about, silly!" He let out a nervous laugh and lightly brushed Japan's hand off. "I'm just eating pasta, that's all!"
He started to stand up, but Germany firmly held Italy's shoulders and pushed him back down. "Italy, you've been eating pasta almost non-stop where ever you go and it has to stop. Your brother is very concerned too." Germany glanced at the slightly ajar door to the hallway. "Romano, I know you're there. You said you would help out."
No response.
"Honestly, you were the one crying earlier-"
"SHUT THE HELL UP. YOU'RE LYING. I had a cold, damn it!"
"Just get in here... please."
Romano threw open the door and stomped into the room and took the seat across from his brother.
A few awkward seconds of silence, occasionally interrupted with erratic, sputtery 'Ve's from Italy, passed until Japan spoke while staring at Romano expectantly. "Excuse me, but don't you have something to say to your brother, Romano?"
Romano scowled and crossed his arms, but after receiving a sharp glare from Germany, he gave in with a irritated sigh. "Veneziano, you really have to stop. You're freaking me out and I'm getting worried, damn it. Plus, if you make me go down to the damn store to get more pasta ingredients for you again, I'm going to-"
"Y-yes, very good," Japan nervously cut Romano off. "See, Italy? You're brother is concerned for you too. We just want to help."
"Ve, is this a game or something?" Italy shot a few glances at the kitchen door while nervously rubbing the spoon in his hands. "B-Because I'm getting pretty hungry again and-"
"This is an intervention, Italy."
Italy immediately froze up, earning concerned looks from everyone.
Germany lightly pat his friend's shoulder. "Ital-"
(BECAUSE THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG BECAUSE I'M SLOW AND I'M A LAZY HORRIBLE PERSON LOLOLOL)
ITALY SUDDENLY SLAPPED GERMANY'S HAND AWAY AND PRETTY MUCH FLIPPED THE FUCK OUT. "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!"
HE DID A GODDAMN BARREL ROLL OUT OF HIS SEAT AND MAKE A DASH FOR THE DOOR.
"OH SHIT!" GERMANY STARTED TO RUN AFTER ITALY. BUT BEFORE HE LET THE ROOM, HE STOPPED TO QUICKLY SHOUT BACK AT THE OTHER TWO. "ROMANO, GO GET THE NET."
"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO"
"STFU BITCH AND GET THE NET." GERMANY YELLED AT JAPAN NEXT. "GO GET THE HANDCUFFS FROM ITALY'S ROOM."
"... WHY DO YOU HAVE HANDCUFFS IN HIS ROOM?"
"FOR SEXY NIGHTS- I MEAN, BINGO NIGHT JUST IN CASE."
"WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE HANDCUFFS IN MY BROTHERS ROOM?"
"GO. GET. THE. NET. OR AM I GONNA HAVE TO CHOKE A BITCH?"
ROMANO 'FFFFFFFFF'D AND STOMPEDRAN TO THE CLOSET TO GET THE NET THAT FOR SOME REASON IS THERE FOR SOME UNEXPLAINED REASON. JAPAN RAN UPSTAIRS TO GET THE HANDCUFFS AND WHILE HE GOT THEM, HE SAW SOME OF THE OTHER QUESTIONABLE 'BINGO NIGHT' OBJECTS.
THEY RETURNED TO MEET GERMANY IN THE KITCHEN, WHO WAS CURRENTLY TRYING TO HOLD BACK ITALY FROM HAVING ANOTHER SHOT OF PASTA.
"JUST ONE MORE TIME"
"FFFF LISTEN TO ME"
"NEVER."
ITALY, WHO HAS LONG GONE LOST HIS FUCKING MARBLES, STARTED TO SMACK GERMANY WITH HIS SPOON WHILE WAILING, THOUGH IT DIDN'T WORK BECAUSE HIS WEAK HITS DEFLECTED OFF OF GERMANY'S MAGICAL BURLY CHEST, OR SOMETHING.
ROMANO STARTED WACKING HIS BROTHER WITH THE NET AND JAPAN STOOD ON THE SIDE, AWKWARDLY, WITH THE HANDCUFFS.
GERMANY FFF'D WHEN ROMANO ACCIDENTALLY HIT HIM. "UR DOIN IT WRONG."
"FFF I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING." ROMANO SWORE AND TOSSED THE NET AT ITALY AND MISSED BY A MILE. "FFFFFFUUUUUUU-"
BUT THEN JAPAN SAW AN OPPORTUNITY WHEN ITALY TURNED AND TRIED REACH FOR THE NET. I GUESS HE NINJA'D OVER THERE AND QUICKLY PUT ON THE HANDCUFFS, BECAUSE YEAH.
SO THEY FINALLY CAUGHT HIM, FORCED ANOTHER INTERVENTION ON HIM, WENT WITH HIM THROUGH A FEW DAYS OF REHAB, AND EVERYTHING WAS WELL. ALONG WITH AWESOME MAKEUP SEX BINGO NIGHT.
THE END. *TROLL TROLL TROLL*
Germany sighed. "We need to talk, Italy."
"Juuust after one more plate of pasta~ I'm fineseriously," Italy responded with a smile, his right eye twitching slightly as he restlessly twirled an unwashed spoon in his hands.
"Please, this is serious." Japan light placed his hand onto Italy's shoulder. "We are your friends, Italy, and we're here to help you with your problem."
"V-Ve, I don't k-know what you're talking about, silly!" He let out a nervous laugh and lightly brushed Japan's hand off. "I'm just eating pasta, that's all!"
He started to stand up, but Germany firmly held Italy's shoulders and pushed him back down. "Italy, you've been eating pasta almost non-stop where ever you go and it has to stop. Your brother is very concerned too." Germany glanced at the slightly ajar door to the hallway. "Romano, I know you're there. You said you would help out."
No response.
"Honestly, you were the one crying earlier-"
"SHUT THE HELL UP. YOU'RE LYING. I had a cold, damn it!"
"Just get in here... please."
Romano threw open the door and stomped into the room and took the seat across from his brother.
A few awkward seconds of silence, occasionally interrupted with erratic, sputtery 'Ve's from Italy, passed until Japan spoke while staring at Romano expectantly. "Excuse me, but don't you have something to say to your brother, Romano?"
Romano scowled and crossed his arms, but after receiving a sharp glare from Germany, he gave in with a irritated sigh. "Veneziano, you really have to stop. You're freaking me out and I'm getting worried, damn it. Plus, if you make me go down to the damn store to get more pasta ingredients for you again, I'm going to-"
"Y-yes, very good," Japan nervously cut Romano off. "See, Italy? You're brother is concerned for you too. We just want to help."
"Ve, is this a game or something?" Italy shot a few glances at the kitchen door while nervously rubbing the spoon in his hands. "B-Because I'm getting pretty hungry again and-"
"This is an intervention, Italy."
Italy immediately froze up, earning concerned looks from everyone.
Germany lightly pat his friend's shoulder. "Ital-"
(BECAUSE THIS IS TAKING TOO LONG BECAUSE I'M SLOW AND I'M A LAZY HORRIBLE PERSON LOLOLOL)
ITALY SUDDENLY SLAPPED GERMANY'S HAND AWAY AND PRETTY MUCH FLIPPED THE FUCK OUT. "YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!"
HE DID A GODDAMN BARREL ROLL OUT OF HIS SEAT AND MAKE A DASH FOR THE DOOR.
"OH SHIT!" GERMANY STARTED TO RUN AFTER ITALY. BUT BEFORE HE LET THE ROOM, HE STOPPED TO QUICKLY SHOUT BACK AT THE OTHER TWO. "ROMANO, GO GET THE NET."
"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO"
"STFU BITCH AND GET THE NET." GERMANY YELLED AT JAPAN NEXT. "GO GET THE HANDCUFFS FROM ITALY'S ROOM."
"... WHY DO YOU HAVE HANDCUFFS IN HIS ROOM?"
"FOR SEXY NIGHTS- I MEAN, BINGO NIGHT JUST IN CASE."
"WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE HANDCUFFS IN MY BROTHERS ROOM?"
"GO. GET. THE. NET. OR AM I GONNA HAVE TO CHOKE A BITCH?"
ROMANO 'FFFFFFFFF'D AND STOMPEDRAN TO THE CLOSET TO GET THE NET THAT FOR SOME REASON IS THERE FOR SOME UNEXPLAINED REASON. JAPAN RAN UPSTAIRS TO GET THE HANDCUFFS AND WHILE HE GOT THEM, HE SAW SOME OF THE OTHER QUESTIONABLE 'BINGO NIGHT' OBJECTS.
THEY RETURNED TO MEET GERMANY IN THE KITCHEN, WHO WAS CURRENTLY TRYING TO HOLD BACK ITALY FROM HAVING ANOTHER SHOT OF PASTA.
"JUST ONE MORE TIME"
"FFFF LISTEN TO ME"
"NEVER."
ITALY, WHO HAS LONG GONE LOST HIS FUCKING MARBLES, STARTED TO SMACK GERMANY WITH HIS SPOON WHILE WAILING, THOUGH IT DIDN'T WORK BECAUSE HIS WEAK HITS DEFLECTED OFF OF GERMANY'S MAGICAL BURLY CHEST, OR SOMETHING.
ROMANO STARTED WACKING HIS BROTHER WITH THE NET AND JAPAN STOOD ON THE SIDE, AWKWARDLY, WITH THE HANDCUFFS.
GERMANY FFF'D WHEN ROMANO ACCIDENTALLY HIT HIM. "UR DOIN IT WRONG."
"FFF I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING." ROMANO SWORE AND TOSSED THE NET AT ITALY AND MISSED BY A MILE. "FFFFFFUUUUUUU-"
BUT THEN JAPAN SAW AN OPPORTUNITY WHEN ITALY TURNED AND TRIED REACH FOR THE NET. I GUESS HE NINJA'D OVER THERE AND QUICKLY PUT ON THE HANDCUFFS, BECAUSE YEAH.
SO THEY FINALLY CAUGHT HIM, FORCED ANOTHER INTERVENTION ON HIM, WENT WITH HIM THROUGH A FEW DAYS OF REHAB, AND EVERYTHING WAS WELL. ALONG WITH AWESOME MAKEUP SEX BINGO NIGHT.
THE END. *TROLL TROLL TROLL*