Problems with sharehouse living, problems with the 'blame game'
What part of "YES I SCREWED UP, I kept shit down stairs, I made mistakes" doesn't count for admitting what I've done wrong?
Please tell me where in this, I'm not admitting my mistakes?
I just don't like it when some one comes to me and says all the problems are from you, there's no blame on me for anything, which was how you came out like
7/02/200923:05:07Alex but they ARE
7/02/200923:05:11Spookywanluke the last part i disagree with
7/02/200923:05:12Alex in many situations they ARE
7/02/200923:05:28Alex I FREELY admit when i do some irresponsible things
7/02/200923:05:33Spookywanluke yes
7/02/200923:05:35Alex you dont
7/02/200923:05:39Spookywanluke i do
7/02/200923:05:57Spookywanluke
This transcript is not all the story, it will come out in our house meeting, but tell me where I've not admitted mistakes and am the maker of all the bad stuff in this house.
I mow, I clean the bathroom, I've taken the bins out on occasions. I have to believe his mother did something 'big' when he classes my as almost nothing....
Session Start: Saturday, 7 February 2009
two I mow, I cleaned up a lot of the stuff esp as there were a lot more boxes then the two I got rid of today and the 4 your mother got rid of - not that I forced her to. Please give me some credit of doing something that you're not willing to do.
btw if you want to do the mother did this game, ask my mother how many times shes done some dishwashing just to use the sink(21:40) Spookywanluke:I do accept blame though(21:44) Alex:firstly i was asking to see wether you planned to do it at all, and if you have a problem with someone checking up on when exactly you plan to do your job, id suggest not waiting five weeks to do it. and for the record of the like 6 boxes, you did none of them until tonight(21:45) Alex:secondly yes, i COULD be somewhat fast at cleaning the dishes, i should have gotten to them about 3 days earlier(21:45) Spookywanluke:two bins myself, some stored in the next door neighbors, three in my parents boot, not including the stuff on the grass.(21:45) Alex:but what you need to understand here is that this is weighing the occasional slackness people exhibit when living in a house, being a few days late with dishes, leaving it a week before crushing 3 boxes. To leaving something lying on the ground for FIVE WEEKS and showing no signs of wanting to throw it away(21:46) Spookywanluke:more like trying to organise a trailer(21:46) Spookywanluke:but yeah it fell through(21:48) Alex:your annoyed at how i act, that i dont give leeway and treat you in a hostile manner. Im sorry, but i cant help it anymore, things have been getting wore and worse and worse and the ONLY reason i havent made an issue before now is because youve been making motions to leave(21:48) Spookywanluke:same sort of idea with me(21:48) Alex:the reason i dont engage in conversation and the like is beacuse staying silent and staying distant is the only way i dont get angry, and getting angry can be considered violence in a court(21:49) Spookywanluke:my fridge is a big point with me esp as I have to clean off shit that is sticking to the pain most weeks.(21:49) Alex:no(21:49) Spookywanluke:I am not good at dealin with people well in some situations(21:49) Alex:im sorry, but no i wont engage in this argument(21:50) Spookywanluke:well if you complain about me, then I feel it's my right to air the few I have.(21:50) Alex:Hannah needs to be here(21:50) Spookywanluke:yep(21:50) Alex:were fed up and i WONT pursue the situation without her(21:50) Spookywanluke:ok then organise it quice.(21:50) Spookywanluke:I'm free most sat and sun nights, monday day and all wed till 5pm(21:51) Alex:we will have this sit down with you, it wont be very pleasent, and dont think for a second that your in any ways in the right, your not, these living conditions are unacceptable as stands, we wont abide by them, and i have yet to meet a single person who thinks they are(21:52) Spookywanluke:thanks, but I'm not the only one in the wrong, just remember that, and I have the same 'anyone thinks' style of group.(21:52) Alex:no(21:52) Spookywanluke:yes we do have to meet(21:52) Spookywanluke:but remember I do have a say(21:52) Alex:while we may do a few things that are lax, we are hardly in equal amounts of wrong here(21:52) Alex:i will always listen to reasonable arguments, as will hannah(21:52) Alex:but no(21:53) Alex:you are in the wrong, and we need you to sit down, and actually HEAR it for once(21:53) Alex:you are not in a position of equal right here, you are NOT doing just as well as everyone else, and while you DO have the right to be heard, you are NOT on equal standing as far as doing the right thing goes(21:54) Alex:you are wrong, and we need you to hear that(21:55) Spookywanluke:yeas I know I've done wrong, and I'm willing to hear it. BUT I'm NOT the only one, a big contributer yes, but not the be-all-end-all only one, so please if you are willing to listen to reasoned statements, remember that(21:55) Spookywanluke:no it'd be no point(21:57) Alex:look if you have requests, issues, situations, that you wish you breach you can ALWAYS do so, and we will listen of course(21:59) Alex:and since you clearly have trouble breaching these issues in person of course we'd be happy to have you send them over MSN(22:01) Spookywanluke:yeah I've been meaning to but everytime I try to write them something important needs to be done, I apologise for that, thats why I've used my white board(22:01) Alex:christina all youve written on your whiteboard is stuff like an items spilt in your fridge, or theres like 1 object that needs fixing or something(22:04) Spookywanluke:yeah there the minor things mostly. but stuff that has been important in some way. - beer one in my fridge is fine, but it's happened twice more.
I found another two pizza boxes - older ones downstairs the other day. Cans are still being left open downstairs. i don't mind stuff on the sink for a few days but more than three days for a large lot no, small ones and tows i can get over, hell i do it.(22:05) Spookywanluke:for hanna, the boxes downstairs, of which you blamed me for. I own a basket and 1 box.(22:05) Spookywanluke:in the garage that is.(22:06) Spookywanluke:my table was in the house for 1 night when i wasn't home and it got hot rings on it and a gouge mark.(22:06) Spookywanluke:one of my wooden chairs was used to hold the door open when it was raining(22:07) Spookywanluke:if there's no bag in the bin stuff is placed directly into it(22:07) Spookywanluke:.............just writing them out before the meeting btw(22:07) Spookywanluke:the bag still doesn't get taken out often enough(22:07) Alex:christina ... stop(22:09) Alex:no matter how much you inflate some things, misrepresent others, and ... just make up other stuff out of the blue ... I dont start actually seeing it in that way ... and I dont start considering that comperable to the things you are doing ... and know you are doing(22:10) Alex:to be clear, ive put beer in the fridge once, for a friend of mine, i dont drink it, nor does hannah, objects downstairs are generally thrown out within a few days, if they arnt my apologies but some of them are yours as well, the boxes downstairs ARE yours, hannah moved the majority of her stuff here in bags that are now in her room, she owns i believe 1 box and 1 suitcase downstairs...(22:11) Alex:...your table already had those things in them, the most ive done is got it dirty .. then washed it down with a cloth fixing that issue(22:11) Alex:i use a water bottle to keep the door open, and if i was gonna use a chair id use my directors chairs which btw got drenched last rainfall(22:11) Alex:the bag didn't get taken out these last 2 weeks beacuse its hannahs job and WE were slack with it(22:11) Spookywanluke:not last two weeks(22:12) Alex:the dishes ARE done a little too slowly, like by a few days ... and ill work on that(22:12) Spookywanluke:before she left(22:12) Spookywanluke:she didn't take them out for 2 weeks(22:12) Alex:for the period of time the bin has been her responsibility they've never been taken out more efficiently(22:12) Spookywanluke:ha(22:12) Alex:christina ... your trying to create issues out of nothing to justify your own misteps ... and it doesn't work(22:12) Spookywanluke:I started doing them friday morning(22:13) Spookywanluke:reasoned arguments hey, I'm mentioning problems that my parents have noticed, that I have seen and not made up, which I find offensive(22:14) Spookywanluke:i can make some small things larger than what others see them cause they are to me, but It seems sometimes you do the oppoite.(22:14) Alex:i do, i make huge issues of yours less huge because i dont want to create conflict(22:14) Spookywanluke:and now this is an argument I don't want to get into(22:14) Alex:your right, the exact opposite(22:15) Alex:look, about your fridge(22:16) Alex:we are VERY respectful with it, on the few times ive spilt something ive noticed ive immediatly cleaned it(22:16) Alex:infact today i even threw out some milk dated from october(22:16) Alex:OCTOBER(22:16) Spookywanluke:in a bottle or carton?(22:17) Alex:bottle, you can now find it in the bin inches from exploding, hannah and i wouldnt drain it from fear of it killing us(22:17) Spookywanluke:wow, sorry about that one, I knew the one dated 21 january, but not that one(22:17) Spookywanluke:where was it?(22:17) Alex:in the door(22:18) Alex:farmers whatsitsface brand(22:18) Alex:look, we are very respectful to the fridge(22:18) Alex:to your table(22:18) Alex:to your objects in the kitchen(22:18) Alex:if something occasionally spills, thats unfortunate, and for the record we fix it(22:19) Spookywanluke:noticed that lately(22:19) Alex:lately?(22:20) Spookywanluke:my dad pointed it out to me was that the night after I got the table when we were cleaning it again, there was a gouge in the side that wasn't there and a hot ring right around where my kettle was moved to from the mat.(22:20) Spookywanluke:other than that the table has been looked after(22:21) Alex:you mean the table upstairs?(22:21) Spookywanluke:my fridge is a mess on occasions(22:21) Spookywanluke:yeah(22:21) Alex:NO(22:21) Alex:no, i do the right thing(22:21) Alex:to your fridge, to your table(22:21) Spookywanluke:not blaming you in general, just mentioning what was noticed(22:21) Spookywanluke:i have no idea who did it(22:21) Alex:we didn't(22:22) Alex:look christina, we treat your shit nicely(22:22) Alex:you dont get to use it as justification for our both being on an equal level of wrongness(22:22) Alex:we are EXCELLENT housemates(22:22) Alex:we do our jobs within a week of their needing odne(22:22) Alex:we take care of your stuff(22:23) Alex:and we do our best to not have issues with the occasional problem, knowing full well that everyone has the right to do the occasional lax thing in their home(22:23) Spookywanluke:good housemates and yes you do look after most stuff(22:23) Spookywanluke:yeah i know(22:23) Alex:excellent(22:23) Alex:we are GREAT housemates(22:24) Spookywanluke:i do say hannah is excellent, you are better than good, but personally I wouldn't give excellent(22:24) Spookywanluke:you guys are nice ones to live with though(22:24) Alex:hardly(22:24) Alex:the way i handle you, you cant honestly say your currently enjoying living with me(22:24) Alex:infact you must be finding living with me quite uncomfortable at this point(22:25) Alex:i dont damage your household objects(22:26) Spookywanluke:it is awkward and annoying living with you, but I've had a lot worse and I can stand you personally which makes up for a lot - you keep a lot to your self and listen if I complain. i can live with that(22:26) Spookywanluke:and no you don't though you can be a slob at times, (22:26) Spookywanluke:so can i(22:26) Alex:again no, im sorry(22:26) Alex:i dont act slobbely with YOUR objects, i dont damage your objects(22:27) Alex:i DO NOT, hannah, DOES NOT, damage your objects(22:27) Spookywanluke:not specifically my objects dufus....(22:27) Alex:no you specifically said your objects(22:27) Alex:you tried to imply that we damaged your fridge and table(22:27) Spookywanluke:i never said deliberately. (22:27) Alex:who cares(22:27) Alex:you said it AT ALL(22:27) Alex:and thats crap(22:29) Spookywanluke:ok, why was there meso powder spilt all over the fridge from an open packet in the bottom shelf. I told hannah that then cleaned it up, yes it happens. there is a hot ring on the table, sorry can't change or ignore that, but I know it wasn't done deliberatly.(22:29) Spookywanluke:you guys try to take really good care of most things thats true(22:29) Spookywanluke:with your stuff I do the same.(22:29) Alex:powder spilt in the fridge?(22:30) Spookywanluke:if something happens I replace it(22:30) Alex:its food, food spills in fridges(22:30) Alex:you cant legitimately bring that up like its something you could ACTUALLY complain about(22:30) Spookywanluke:it is when it is left there.(22:31) Alex:if its unnoticed say it once and if we did it we'll fix it(22:31) Alex:you CANT suggest that thats something you can legitimately complain about(22:31) Alex:if we Didn't clean it up(22:31) Alex:sure(22:31) Spookywanluke:ok boxes downstairs(22:31) Alex:but .. you cant SERIOUSLY be suggesting that objects occasionally spilling in your fridge is anything that anyones done wrong(22:31) Alex:boxes downstairs?(22:32) Alex:i have 3 boxes of books in a storage closet, and 1 set of shelves waiting to be se up, Hannah has like 2 things from moving in that possibly arnt sorted, i suspect less(22:32) Alex:the boxes, arnt ours. those boxes are left there by the person who constantly orders things to this house, things that arrive in boxes(22:33) Spookywanluke:nope. the big boxes in the garage aren't mine(22:33) Spookywanluke:I own the tv boxes the the bar that's it(22:33) Alex:we'll if their not yours their kristens(22:34) Spookywanluke:two are bits from when Hannah moved in def - one is her mirror, one large bit (some of which i used for grass) cam from her bed(22:34) Spookywanluke:the rest I have no idea but there weren't there after k moved out(22:35) Spookywanluke:sorry about this online bit it is easier for me(22:36) Spookywanluke: I will come to the meeting and listen though, some parts of this I will bring up, some was only mentioned here(22:36) Alex:fair enough, the boxes are hannahs(22:36) Alex:your point?(22:37) Spookywanluke:I've asked for them removed way before she went on holidays, I had you blame them on me and them not be removed.(22:37) Spookywanluke:my point(22:37) Alex:you cant ask her to remove those boxes(22:37) Alex:well you can ask(22:37) Spookywanluke:i did(22:37) Alex:but you cant suggest shes in the wrong(22:37) Alex:wanna know why?(22:38) Spookywanluke:plus if the onus of moving grass is on me, then the onus of moving boxes is on her even without me asking(22:38) Alex:...(22:38) Alex:ok to be clear(22:38) Alex:3-4 boxes, compressed, in a part of the garage, thats a job that needs doing at some point(22:39) Alex:6 open boxes of grass sitting outside the house, is a health hazard, is wrong because its VISIBLE to neighbours, shouldnt have been there in the first place, and CAN be dispensed of much easier(22:39) Alex:and finall(22:39) Alex:finally*(22:40) Alex:you CANT legitimately get annoyed at someones boxes when you havent got rid of YOURs(22:41) Spookywanluke:one the boxes have been there longer and I asked earlier. I'm at fault for the grass but that doesn't negate that she is also at fault. It's hard to deal round the boxes doenstairs and there were' redbacks living underthem. Got rid of them three days ago when I almost got bitten(22:41) Alex:ok ok(22:41) Alex:look(22:42) Spookywanluke:if you want to play the "you can't fault them when you're at fault game' don't play it yourself(22:42) Spookywanluke:yep(22:42) Alex:for starters i was suggesting that your tellign someone to fix box litter when you yourself have box litter lying around two was ... not really cool(22:43) Alex:in the next day or two however hannah and i have planned to spend about an hour fixing a few of our stuff we've had lying around(22:43) Alex:and yeah, theres 1 or 2 things(22:44) Spookywanluke:yep and so do I, esp downstairs, I've been trying to get moving boxes (which I was not able to before) to move my stuff into, esp the books that take up all the room(22:44) Spookywanluke:now I've been able to, but it will be end of next week(22:44) Alex:what were going to be talking to you about thou, isnt a box, or a suitcase, or getting onto something within a day(22:44) Alex:we are going to be asking you, to remove ALL of your stuff thats lying around as storage(22:45) Alex:your clothes,lying around for 2 months, your endless boxes of books and crap, your huge pile of laundry just ... lying on the floor in a common room. and thats just off the top of my head(22:45) Alex:were going to ask, that you move them to 2 of the 3 storage rooms, were giving you 2 storage rooms for it, and your bedroom(22:45) Spookywanluke:my clothes on the line change every week(22:45) Alex:...and were going to ask you to keep it that way(22:45) Spookywanluke:i just have a constant supply(22:46) Alex:your clothes on the line do NOT change every week, once my sister came over after not being at the house for 2 months and noted the clothes were exactly the same, they DONT change every week(22:46) Alex:were going to ask you, to move your stuff out, were going to lay ground rules for all 3 of us to abide by about crap just lying around, and were going to be asking you to stick to them(22:46) Spookywanluke:i change most of them that I can garentee, but for two weeks i didn't change them cause i used them then put htem back(22:46) Spookywanluke:yeah(22:46) Alex:and i WILL let Hannah rephrase this how she wants, i dont want to be representing her(22:47) Alex:i dont care why you didn't change them(22:47) Spookywanluke:i know ground rules, i have been breaking some and am intending to fix them(22:47) Alex:they were lying, in our garage, instead of being in your room(22:47) Alex:you havent broken any rules beacuse we havent set them(22:47) Alex:you HAVENT lived with any rules(22:47) Alex:because we dont like setting rules in what should be a place people can live as they will(22:47) Alex:there will now be rules(22:47) Alex:they will be rather strict, and we will want them enforced(22:48) Spookywanluke:well there were unspoken rules(22:48) Alex:no there really arnt(22:48) Spookywanluke:like not cluttering up the benches and table downstairs(22:48) Alex:beacause if there were you wouldnt allow so much crap to just accumliate in COMMUNAL areas of the house(22:48) Spookywanluke:and i know about the clothes on the line(22:48) Alex:this isnt 1 or 2 small areas(22:48) Alex:your shit ... is everyoen .. and we want ... it to go(22:48) Alex:everywhere*(22:48) Alex:and 1 or 2 boxes ... doesn't BEGIN ... to compare with how bad things are(22:48) Alex:their not kinda bad(22:49) Alex:their ... unspeakably bad(22:49) Alex:every time anyone comes over its spoken about, because its so bad, and so obvious(22:49) Alex:its ... not kinda bad(22:49) Alex:its ... wrong(22:51) Spookywanluke:bad yes wrong, i disagree with(22:51) Alex:WRONG(22:51) Spookywanluke:not arguing just stateing my opinion(22:51) Alex:im sorry, i wont loose my temper(22:51) Spookywanluke:it won(22:51) Spookywanluke:t change yours though(22:54) Alex:if you think, the state at which you leave crap lying around the house isnt wrong, then i highly suggest living with others who see the same way. Because to be completely clear, it IS wrong, and i have yet to meet a single person who isnt your family/close friend, who all on their own hasent entirely agreed(22:55) Spookywanluke:this is a never ending point, I have one, you have ones, I have major problems, most of which I know and yes Haven't had the direction/care to fix.(22:55) Spookywanluke:I am sorry for some that I really should have, but couldn't find it in me to do, but there are reasons.(22:56) Alex:your reasons are your own, there are always reasons(22:56) Alex:grown up people do the right thing anyway(22:56) Spookywanluke:roll eyes(22:57) Spookywanluke:oh yeah right, tell that to a lot of relationships and sharehouses I know of, most of who are ten times worse than the worst here(22:57) Spookywanluke:sorry, souldn't have said that that way(22:57) Alex:thats ok i didn't understand what you were trying to say anyway(22:58) Spookywanluke:just grown up people aren't perfect(22:58) Alex:no-ones perfect, being grown up is about resonsilibity, not perfection(22:59) Spookywanluke:yeah well i know I've dropped the ball a number of times,part of which has been due to the depression leading to me not caring, which I'm not over by a long shot, but I'm working my way around it(23:00) Spookywanluke:I tried to keep it mess limited and cleaned regulary then dropped it esp 2 months ago.(23:00) Spookywanluke:trying to pick myself up by the boot laces and get stuff done.(23:02) Alex:I have no job right now, thats what the recession has given me, and i've managed to not litter the house with crap(23:02) Alex:and you know what, ALL of what you said might be fine(23:02) Alex:if you would just TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for your misteps(23:03) Alex:say that youve done the wrong thing, admit when you dont know something, be OPEN to the fact that in MANY situations you know the least about a situation and have made the least moves to do the right thing(23:03) Spookywanluke:some i have made moves, some I can only say yes I did wrong(23:04) Alex:most(23:04) Spookywanluke:and yes I know, I've done a lot bad(23:04) Alex:you NEED to stop, and just admit that you have by FAR been least responsible, and that anything you bring up doesn't begin to compare(23:04) Spookywanluke:I just don't like it when some one comes to me and says all the problems are from you, there's no blame on me for anything, which was how you came out like(23:05) Alex:but they ARE(23:05) Spookywanluke:the last part i disagree with(23:05) Alex:in many situations they ARE(23:05) Alex:i FREELY admit when i do some irresponsible things(23:05) Spookywanluke:yes(23:05) Alex:you dont(23:05) Spookywanluke:i do(23:05) Spookywanluke:i didn't get the grass, i kept stuff downstairs(23:06) Alex:ok im done(23:06)Alex is now Offline
I will go to the house meeting with hannah present, but I don't expect reasonable arguments or statements. I've done wrong, but it doesn't negate the bad things the others have done.
Please tell me where in this, I'm not admitting my mistakes?
I just don't like it when some one comes to me and says all the problems are from you, there's no blame on me for anything, which was how you came out like
7/02/200923:05:07Alex but they ARE
7/02/200923:05:11Spookywanluke the last part i disagree with
7/02/200923:05:12Alex in many situations they ARE
7/02/200923:05:28Alex I FREELY admit when i do some irresponsible things
7/02/200923:05:33Spookywanluke yes
7/02/200923:05:35Alex you dont
7/02/200923:05:39Spookywanluke i do
7/02/200923:05:57Spookywanluke
This transcript is not all the story, it will come out in our house meeting, but tell me where I've not admitted mistakes and am the maker of all the bad stuff in this house.
I mow, I clean the bathroom, I've taken the bins out on occasions. I have to believe his mother did something 'big' when he classes my as almost nothing....
Session Start: Saturday, 7 February 2009
- Spookywanluke (spookywanluke@hotmail.com)
- Alex (bluntaxe@mail.com)
two I mow, I cleaned up a lot of the stuff esp as there were a lot more boxes then the two I got rid of today and the 4 your mother got rid of - not that I forced her to. Please give me some credit of doing something that you're not willing to do.
btw if you want to do the mother did this game, ask my mother how many times shes done some dishwashing just to use the sink(21:40) Spookywanluke:I do accept blame though(21:44) Alex:firstly i was asking to see wether you planned to do it at all, and if you have a problem with someone checking up on when exactly you plan to do your job, id suggest not waiting five weeks to do it. and for the record of the like 6 boxes, you did none of them until tonight(21:45) Alex:secondly yes, i COULD be somewhat fast at cleaning the dishes, i should have gotten to them about 3 days earlier(21:45) Spookywanluke:two bins myself, some stored in the next door neighbors, three in my parents boot, not including the stuff on the grass.(21:45) Alex:but what you need to understand here is that this is weighing the occasional slackness people exhibit when living in a house, being a few days late with dishes, leaving it a week before crushing 3 boxes. To leaving something lying on the ground for FIVE WEEKS and showing no signs of wanting to throw it away(21:46) Spookywanluke:more like trying to organise a trailer(21:46) Spookywanluke:but yeah it fell through(21:48) Alex:your annoyed at how i act, that i dont give leeway and treat you in a hostile manner. Im sorry, but i cant help it anymore, things have been getting wore and worse and worse and the ONLY reason i havent made an issue before now is because youve been making motions to leave(21:48) Spookywanluke:same sort of idea with me(21:48) Alex:the reason i dont engage in conversation and the like is beacuse staying silent and staying distant is the only way i dont get angry, and getting angry can be considered violence in a court(21:49) Spookywanluke:my fridge is a big point with me esp as I have to clean off shit that is sticking to the pain most weeks.(21:49) Alex:no(21:49) Spookywanluke:I am not good at dealin with people well in some situations(21:49) Alex:im sorry, but no i wont engage in this argument(21:50) Spookywanluke:well if you complain about me, then I feel it's my right to air the few I have.(21:50) Alex:Hannah needs to be here(21:50) Spookywanluke:yep(21:50) Alex:were fed up and i WONT pursue the situation without her(21:50) Spookywanluke:ok then organise it quice.(21:50) Spookywanluke:I'm free most sat and sun nights, monday day and all wed till 5pm(21:51) Alex:we will have this sit down with you, it wont be very pleasent, and dont think for a second that your in any ways in the right, your not, these living conditions are unacceptable as stands, we wont abide by them, and i have yet to meet a single person who thinks they are(21:52) Spookywanluke:thanks, but I'm not the only one in the wrong, just remember that, and I have the same 'anyone thinks' style of group.(21:52) Alex:no(21:52) Spookywanluke:yes we do have to meet(21:52) Spookywanluke:but remember I do have a say(21:52) Alex:while we may do a few things that are lax, we are hardly in equal amounts of wrong here(21:52) Alex:i will always listen to reasonable arguments, as will hannah(21:52) Alex:but no(21:53) Alex:you are in the wrong, and we need you to sit down, and actually HEAR it for once(21:53) Alex:you are not in a position of equal right here, you are NOT doing just as well as everyone else, and while you DO have the right to be heard, you are NOT on equal standing as far as doing the right thing goes(21:54) Alex:you are wrong, and we need you to hear that(21:55) Spookywanluke:yeas I know I've done wrong, and I'm willing to hear it. BUT I'm NOT the only one, a big contributer yes, but not the be-all-end-all only one, so please if you are willing to listen to reasoned statements, remember that(21:55) Spookywanluke:no it'd be no point(21:57) Alex:look if you have requests, issues, situations, that you wish you breach you can ALWAYS do so, and we will listen of course(21:59) Alex:and since you clearly have trouble breaching these issues in person of course we'd be happy to have you send them over MSN(22:01) Spookywanluke:yeah I've been meaning to but everytime I try to write them something important needs to be done, I apologise for that, thats why I've used my white board(22:01) Alex:christina all youve written on your whiteboard is stuff like an items spilt in your fridge, or theres like 1 object that needs fixing or something(22:04) Spookywanluke:yeah there the minor things mostly. but stuff that has been important in some way. - beer one in my fridge is fine, but it's happened twice more.
I found another two pizza boxes - older ones downstairs the other day. Cans are still being left open downstairs. i don't mind stuff on the sink for a few days but more than three days for a large lot no, small ones and tows i can get over, hell i do it.(22:05) Spookywanluke:for hanna, the boxes downstairs, of which you blamed me for. I own a basket and 1 box.(22:05) Spookywanluke:in the garage that is.(22:06) Spookywanluke:my table was in the house for 1 night when i wasn't home and it got hot rings on it and a gouge mark.(22:06) Spookywanluke:one of my wooden chairs was used to hold the door open when it was raining(22:07) Spookywanluke:if there's no bag in the bin stuff is placed directly into it(22:07) Spookywanluke:.............just writing them out before the meeting btw(22:07) Spookywanluke:the bag still doesn't get taken out often enough(22:07) Alex:christina ... stop(22:09) Alex:no matter how much you inflate some things, misrepresent others, and ... just make up other stuff out of the blue ... I dont start actually seeing it in that way ... and I dont start considering that comperable to the things you are doing ... and know you are doing(22:10) Alex:to be clear, ive put beer in the fridge once, for a friend of mine, i dont drink it, nor does hannah, objects downstairs are generally thrown out within a few days, if they arnt my apologies but some of them are yours as well, the boxes downstairs ARE yours, hannah moved the majority of her stuff here in bags that are now in her room, she owns i believe 1 box and 1 suitcase downstairs...(22:11) Alex:...your table already had those things in them, the most ive done is got it dirty .. then washed it down with a cloth fixing that issue(22:11) Alex:i use a water bottle to keep the door open, and if i was gonna use a chair id use my directors chairs which btw got drenched last rainfall(22:11) Alex:the bag didn't get taken out these last 2 weeks beacuse its hannahs job and WE were slack with it(22:11) Spookywanluke:not last two weeks(22:12) Alex:the dishes ARE done a little too slowly, like by a few days ... and ill work on that(22:12) Spookywanluke:before she left(22:12) Spookywanluke:she didn't take them out for 2 weeks(22:12) Alex:for the period of time the bin has been her responsibility they've never been taken out more efficiently(22:12) Spookywanluke:ha(22:12) Alex:christina ... your trying to create issues out of nothing to justify your own misteps ... and it doesn't work(22:12) Spookywanluke:I started doing them friday morning(22:13) Spookywanluke:reasoned arguments hey, I'm mentioning problems that my parents have noticed, that I have seen and not made up, which I find offensive(22:14) Spookywanluke:i can make some small things larger than what others see them cause they are to me, but It seems sometimes you do the oppoite.(22:14) Alex:i do, i make huge issues of yours less huge because i dont want to create conflict(22:14) Spookywanluke:and now this is an argument I don't want to get into(22:14) Alex:your right, the exact opposite(22:15) Alex:look, about your fridge(22:16) Alex:we are VERY respectful with it, on the few times ive spilt something ive noticed ive immediatly cleaned it(22:16) Alex:infact today i even threw out some milk dated from october(22:16) Alex:OCTOBER(22:16) Spookywanluke:in a bottle or carton?(22:17) Alex:bottle, you can now find it in the bin inches from exploding, hannah and i wouldnt drain it from fear of it killing us(22:17) Spookywanluke:wow, sorry about that one, I knew the one dated 21 january, but not that one(22:17) Spookywanluke:where was it?(22:17) Alex:in the door(22:18) Alex:farmers whatsitsface brand(22:18) Alex:look, we are very respectful to the fridge(22:18) Alex:to your table(22:18) Alex:to your objects in the kitchen(22:18) Alex:if something occasionally spills, thats unfortunate, and for the record we fix it(22:19) Spookywanluke:noticed that lately(22:19) Alex:lately?(22:20) Spookywanluke:my dad pointed it out to me was that the night after I got the table when we were cleaning it again, there was a gouge in the side that wasn't there and a hot ring right around where my kettle was moved to from the mat.(22:20) Spookywanluke:other than that the table has been looked after(22:21) Alex:you mean the table upstairs?(22:21) Spookywanluke:my fridge is a mess on occasions(22:21) Spookywanluke:yeah(22:21) Alex:NO(22:21) Alex:no, i do the right thing(22:21) Alex:to your fridge, to your table(22:21) Spookywanluke:not blaming you in general, just mentioning what was noticed(22:21) Spookywanluke:i have no idea who did it(22:21) Alex:we didn't(22:22) Alex:look christina, we treat your shit nicely(22:22) Alex:you dont get to use it as justification for our both being on an equal level of wrongness(22:22) Alex:we are EXCELLENT housemates(22:22) Alex:we do our jobs within a week of their needing odne(22:22) Alex:we take care of your stuff(22:23) Alex:and we do our best to not have issues with the occasional problem, knowing full well that everyone has the right to do the occasional lax thing in their home(22:23) Spookywanluke:good housemates and yes you do look after most stuff(22:23) Spookywanluke:yeah i know(22:23) Alex:excellent(22:23) Alex:we are GREAT housemates(22:24) Spookywanluke:i do say hannah is excellent, you are better than good, but personally I wouldn't give excellent(22:24) Spookywanluke:you guys are nice ones to live with though(22:24) Alex:hardly(22:24) Alex:the way i handle you, you cant honestly say your currently enjoying living with me(22:24) Alex:infact you must be finding living with me quite uncomfortable at this point(22:25) Alex:i dont damage your household objects(22:26) Spookywanluke:it is awkward and annoying living with you, but I've had a lot worse and I can stand you personally which makes up for a lot - you keep a lot to your self and listen if I complain. i can live with that(22:26) Spookywanluke:and no you don't though you can be a slob at times, (22:26) Spookywanluke:so can i(22:26) Alex:again no, im sorry(22:26) Alex:i dont act slobbely with YOUR objects, i dont damage your objects(22:27) Alex:i DO NOT, hannah, DOES NOT, damage your objects(22:27) Spookywanluke:not specifically my objects dufus....(22:27) Alex:no you specifically said your objects(22:27) Alex:you tried to imply that we damaged your fridge and table(22:27) Spookywanluke:i never said deliberately. (22:27) Alex:who cares(22:27) Alex:you said it AT ALL(22:27) Alex:and thats crap(22:29) Spookywanluke:ok, why was there meso powder spilt all over the fridge from an open packet in the bottom shelf. I told hannah that then cleaned it up, yes it happens. there is a hot ring on the table, sorry can't change or ignore that, but I know it wasn't done deliberatly.(22:29) Spookywanluke:you guys try to take really good care of most things thats true(22:29) Spookywanluke:with your stuff I do the same.(22:29) Alex:powder spilt in the fridge?(22:30) Spookywanluke:if something happens I replace it(22:30) Alex:its food, food spills in fridges(22:30) Alex:you cant legitimately bring that up like its something you could ACTUALLY complain about(22:30) Spookywanluke:it is when it is left there.(22:31) Alex:if its unnoticed say it once and if we did it we'll fix it(22:31) Alex:you CANT suggest that thats something you can legitimately complain about(22:31) Alex:if we Didn't clean it up(22:31) Alex:sure(22:31) Spookywanluke:ok boxes downstairs(22:31) Alex:but .. you cant SERIOUSLY be suggesting that objects occasionally spilling in your fridge is anything that anyones done wrong(22:31) Alex:boxes downstairs?(22:32) Alex:i have 3 boxes of books in a storage closet, and 1 set of shelves waiting to be se up, Hannah has like 2 things from moving in that possibly arnt sorted, i suspect less(22:32) Alex:the boxes, arnt ours. those boxes are left there by the person who constantly orders things to this house, things that arrive in boxes(22:33) Spookywanluke:nope. the big boxes in the garage aren't mine(22:33) Spookywanluke:I own the tv boxes the the bar that's it(22:33) Alex:we'll if their not yours their kristens(22:34) Spookywanluke:two are bits from when Hannah moved in def - one is her mirror, one large bit (some of which i used for grass) cam from her bed(22:34) Spookywanluke:the rest I have no idea but there weren't there after k moved out(22:35) Spookywanluke:sorry about this online bit it is easier for me(22:36) Spookywanluke: I will come to the meeting and listen though, some parts of this I will bring up, some was only mentioned here(22:36) Alex:fair enough, the boxes are hannahs(22:36) Alex:your point?(22:37) Spookywanluke:I've asked for them removed way before she went on holidays, I had you blame them on me and them not be removed.(22:37) Spookywanluke:my point(22:37) Alex:you cant ask her to remove those boxes(22:37) Alex:well you can ask(22:37) Spookywanluke:i did(22:37) Alex:but you cant suggest shes in the wrong(22:37) Alex:wanna know why?(22:38) Spookywanluke:plus if the onus of moving grass is on me, then the onus of moving boxes is on her even without me asking(22:38) Alex:...(22:38) Alex:ok to be clear(22:38) Alex:3-4 boxes, compressed, in a part of the garage, thats a job that needs doing at some point(22:39) Alex:6 open boxes of grass sitting outside the house, is a health hazard, is wrong because its VISIBLE to neighbours, shouldnt have been there in the first place, and CAN be dispensed of much easier(22:39) Alex:and finall(22:39) Alex:finally*(22:40) Alex:you CANT legitimately get annoyed at someones boxes when you havent got rid of YOURs(22:41) Spookywanluke:one the boxes have been there longer and I asked earlier. I'm at fault for the grass but that doesn't negate that she is also at fault. It's hard to deal round the boxes doenstairs and there were' redbacks living underthem. Got rid of them three days ago when I almost got bitten(22:41) Alex:ok ok(22:41) Alex:look(22:42) Spookywanluke:if you want to play the "you can't fault them when you're at fault game' don't play it yourself(22:42) Spookywanluke:yep(22:42) Alex:for starters i was suggesting that your tellign someone to fix box litter when you yourself have box litter lying around two was ... not really cool(22:43) Alex:in the next day or two however hannah and i have planned to spend about an hour fixing a few of our stuff we've had lying around(22:43) Alex:and yeah, theres 1 or 2 things(22:44) Spookywanluke:yep and so do I, esp downstairs, I've been trying to get moving boxes (which I was not able to before) to move my stuff into, esp the books that take up all the room(22:44) Spookywanluke:now I've been able to, but it will be end of next week(22:44) Alex:what were going to be talking to you about thou, isnt a box, or a suitcase, or getting onto something within a day(22:44) Alex:we are going to be asking you, to remove ALL of your stuff thats lying around as storage(22:45) Alex:your clothes,lying around for 2 months, your endless boxes of books and crap, your huge pile of laundry just ... lying on the floor in a common room. and thats just off the top of my head(22:45) Alex:were going to ask, that you move them to 2 of the 3 storage rooms, were giving you 2 storage rooms for it, and your bedroom(22:45) Spookywanluke:my clothes on the line change every week(22:45) Alex:...and were going to ask you to keep it that way(22:45) Spookywanluke:i just have a constant supply(22:46) Alex:your clothes on the line do NOT change every week, once my sister came over after not being at the house for 2 months and noted the clothes were exactly the same, they DONT change every week(22:46) Alex:were going to ask you, to move your stuff out, were going to lay ground rules for all 3 of us to abide by about crap just lying around, and were going to be asking you to stick to them(22:46) Spookywanluke:i change most of them that I can garentee, but for two weeks i didn't change them cause i used them then put htem back(22:46) Spookywanluke:yeah(22:46) Alex:and i WILL let Hannah rephrase this how she wants, i dont want to be representing her(22:47) Alex:i dont care why you didn't change them(22:47) Spookywanluke:i know ground rules, i have been breaking some and am intending to fix them(22:47) Alex:they were lying, in our garage, instead of being in your room(22:47) Alex:you havent broken any rules beacuse we havent set them(22:47) Alex:you HAVENT lived with any rules(22:47) Alex:because we dont like setting rules in what should be a place people can live as they will(22:47) Alex:there will now be rules(22:47) Alex:they will be rather strict, and we will want them enforced(22:48) Spookywanluke:well there were unspoken rules(22:48) Alex:no there really arnt(22:48) Spookywanluke:like not cluttering up the benches and table downstairs(22:48) Alex:beacause if there were you wouldnt allow so much crap to just accumliate in COMMUNAL areas of the house(22:48) Spookywanluke:and i know about the clothes on the line(22:48) Alex:this isnt 1 or 2 small areas(22:48) Alex:your shit ... is everyoen .. and we want ... it to go(22:48) Alex:everywhere*(22:48) Alex:and 1 or 2 boxes ... doesn't BEGIN ... to compare with how bad things are(22:48) Alex:their not kinda bad(22:49) Alex:their ... unspeakably bad(22:49) Alex:every time anyone comes over its spoken about, because its so bad, and so obvious(22:49) Alex:its ... not kinda bad(22:49) Alex:its ... wrong(22:51) Spookywanluke:bad yes wrong, i disagree with(22:51) Alex:WRONG(22:51) Spookywanluke:not arguing just stateing my opinion(22:51) Alex:im sorry, i wont loose my temper(22:51) Spookywanluke:it won(22:51) Spookywanluke:t change yours though(22:54) Alex:if you think, the state at which you leave crap lying around the house isnt wrong, then i highly suggest living with others who see the same way. Because to be completely clear, it IS wrong, and i have yet to meet a single person who isnt your family/close friend, who all on their own hasent entirely agreed(22:55) Spookywanluke:this is a never ending point, I have one, you have ones, I have major problems, most of which I know and yes Haven't had the direction/care to fix.(22:55) Spookywanluke:I am sorry for some that I really should have, but couldn't find it in me to do, but there are reasons.(22:56) Alex:your reasons are your own, there are always reasons(22:56) Alex:grown up people do the right thing anyway(22:56) Spookywanluke:roll eyes(22:57) Spookywanluke:oh yeah right, tell that to a lot of relationships and sharehouses I know of, most of who are ten times worse than the worst here(22:57) Spookywanluke:sorry, souldn't have said that that way(22:57) Alex:thats ok i didn't understand what you were trying to say anyway(22:58) Spookywanluke:just grown up people aren't perfect(22:58) Alex:no-ones perfect, being grown up is about resonsilibity, not perfection(22:59) Spookywanluke:yeah well i know I've dropped the ball a number of times,part of which has been due to the depression leading to me not caring, which I'm not over by a long shot, but I'm working my way around it(23:00) Spookywanluke:I tried to keep it mess limited and cleaned regulary then dropped it esp 2 months ago.(23:00) Spookywanluke:trying to pick myself up by the boot laces and get stuff done.(23:02) Alex:I have no job right now, thats what the recession has given me, and i've managed to not litter the house with crap(23:02) Alex:and you know what, ALL of what you said might be fine(23:02) Alex:if you would just TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for your misteps(23:03) Alex:say that youve done the wrong thing, admit when you dont know something, be OPEN to the fact that in MANY situations you know the least about a situation and have made the least moves to do the right thing(23:03) Spookywanluke:some i have made moves, some I can only say yes I did wrong(23:04) Alex:most(23:04) Spookywanluke:and yes I know, I've done a lot bad(23:04) Alex:you NEED to stop, and just admit that you have by FAR been least responsible, and that anything you bring up doesn't begin to compare(23:04) Spookywanluke:I just don't like it when some one comes to me and says all the problems are from you, there's no blame on me for anything, which was how you came out like(23:05) Alex:but they ARE(23:05) Spookywanluke:the last part i disagree with(23:05) Alex:in many situations they ARE(23:05) Alex:i FREELY admit when i do some irresponsible things(23:05) Spookywanluke:yes(23:05) Alex:you dont(23:05) Spookywanluke:i do(23:05) Spookywanluke:i didn't get the grass, i kept stuff downstairs(23:06) Alex:ok im done(23:06)Alex is now Offline
I will go to the house meeting with hannah present, but I don't expect reasonable arguments or statements. I've done wrong, but it doesn't negate the bad things the others have done.