My short story, NOW NOT TERRIBLE!
Here is the much edited version of my previous entry. I think it's gotten a bunch better. Please let me know what you think--even if it's "This kind-of sucks Emily" I won't be offended.
It’s Always Cloudy Downtown.
It’s taken me forty-five minutes to reach the Library El stop and I still haven't flipped a page in my book. Seventeen stops ( Read more... )
Comments 1
You story is wonderful. I was instantly captivated by your first version while checking my livejournal to waste the last 15 minutes of a workday. Okay, the last 45 minutes of a workday.
I enjoy your edited version, although it left me longing for more of the nuanced details that you had included in the original. Especially during the moments before the speaker decends the staircase of the trainstation to meet the other character.
Love,
Nuz
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