one month...

Jun 16, 2007 11:35

Cameron is leaving today to spend one month with his dad. Leading up until today, I was kind of excited. I know, shitty way to feel about being away from my kid for a month, but I haven't been able to do much living for the last few years. Just surviving. That's no way for one to live. Today however as I buckled him into James' car, I just ( Read more... )

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Comments 4

aeroplanic June 16 2007, 20:25:46 UTC
You have no reason to feel guilty or bad. You obviously love the kid A LOT. You look after him all year long and the costs that entails. Why should one month with his father be a big deal apart from the missing him part? Maybe after a month of constantly caring for a child, his dad will realize just what you do. Just try to relax and have some you time and know you deserve it. By the time C. gets back he'll be DYING to see his mommy.

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rhoyalblu June 21 2007, 01:07:52 UTC
Actually, he cried that he had to leave, which I actually NEVER expected. I was sure he would just JUMP at the chance. So I guess I'm not such a bad mommy to have after all.

But I'm feeling better. I'm allowing myself to be excited about spending some time alone again...which was part of why I felt so crappy. The fact that I wanted to be without my child. But I need time too, I guess.

Thanks though...and yes, I've dreamed of James having to take care of him 24/7...of course, he kinda cheated, he already has a baby in the house all the time. And a wife to share the burden.

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chrissstopher June 19 2007, 03:07:37 UTC
when a mother does what she needs to do for the betterment of her children, she should never feel shitty. your son will appreciate all you've done for him... trust

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rhoyalblu June 21 2007, 01:09:59 UTC
thanks...he was none to happy with me the other night. All that dissapated upon the discovery that his Dad has cable though.

I felt worse really about the selfish desire I had to not have to take care of him for this long of a stretch. Nothing to do now but relax and have a little fun, though now is it. Cheap fun, mind you, but fun all the same.

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