Comments | rhysdux: Fic: Innocence Like Hers (RPFS || Demi/Selena || NC-17)

rhysdux

Fic: Innocence Like Hers (RPFS || Demi/Selena || NC-17)

Apr 05, 2009 13:05

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A breathless gasp broke the silence of the darkened room, followed by a deep moan. With only the blue glow emanating from the skewed laptop screen, dangling dangerously on the edge of the desk, the silhouettes of two bodies could be seen moving in tandem atop ruffled sheets. Another moan vibrates ( Read more... )

fics, fics: rpfs

Comments 15

rubybruiseday April 5 2009, 21:08:04 UTC

*thud*

You killed me. For the first time writing any pr0n, you sure did it like a pro! Okay. Sorry. I have no other words. I iz ded.

we_all_fall April 5 2009, 21:34:15 UTC

Whoa.

*regains ability to breathe normally*

Even un-beta'd, this is...wow.

*SO DED*

Of course, the real thing is far, far better than anything we could write.

amz15 April 5 2009, 22:00:30 UTC

that was hot and touching lol, seriously, hot lol and the ending was slightly sad =I if only it was true..

kellysue69 April 5 2009, 22:19:51 UTC

after reading this, i must thank you again for unblocking it. i just..have no words as to how hott & amazing it was hahaha. you added emotion to it as well so it wasn't just some random smut; it actually had feeling and i liked that. and i enjoyed the nice closing paragraph. with it, it doesn't end so abruptly. for a first time writer of NC-17, i must say you did a FABULOUS job! :D

coffeecommunity April 5 2009, 23:25:19 UTC

OH. WOW. Um, yeah, this is awesome for your first attempt at NC-17. I can actually see something like this happening while filming My Great Movie a YouTube video, and both trying to see who can hide and deny the want the longest. Of course Demi breaks first. Selena can’t help but feel smug and grin into the kiss as she straddles Demi’s lap and grabs fistfuls of the old and worn concert T-shirt that Demi is soon going to be no longer wearing. I LOVED that line, because it just made me laugh and why do I get the feeling that Selena will be wearing it tomorrow? I also really liked the image of Selena leaned back on her elbows watching Demi stalk toward her with dark eyes and a predatory smirk. Very fitting of their personalities.

I really loved the last paragraph, how they fight to stay awake so they can enjoy being in the other's arms because tomorrow is when the secrets start again. You tied that one line, everything starts out innocent enough through the whole thing very well, and evoked a whole range of emotion throughout. Amazing