Unfamiliar Territory (2/2)
one / two
Tokyo is hot. The city is packed and the boys are standing outside of their hotel at ten in the morning as Joonmyun stares at the map in his hand.
The drive to the hotel the previous night had been mainly silent, everyone too tired to even consider circling Tokyo to explore the night life. The two taxi vans had dropped them off in front of their hotel and Joonmyun had promptly collapsed on his bed after checking everyone in.
Today is the real start of their adventure in Japan, and Joonmyun has absolutely no idea where to go. He’s gnawing on his lip and constantly looking up from his map to glance at his waiting friends. Nobody is offering any input, not even Baekhyun who is drumming his fingers impatiently against his hip. It had been unanimously decided that since this was Joonmyun’s trip, Joonmyun got to call all of the shots.
“See, this is why I had itineraries,” Joonmyun hisses to Jongdae, burying his head back in his map in annoyance.
Jongdae sighs, “It’s not like you didn’t look things up beforehand. You can still go to the places you wanted to visit; we’re just not going to restrict ourselves to an hourly time limit at each location.”
Jongdae wrestles the map out of Joonmyun’s hands, “So pick a place you wanted to go to. You have ten seconds.”
“Jongdae-“
“Seven. Six. Five…”
“Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden!” Joonmyun throws his hands in the air.
“Alright, great, lets go!” Baekhyun pushes himself off of the wall he was leaning on and starts walking down the sidewalk, “We can just use the subways. It’ll be more convenient!”
When they arrive at the garden there’s a decent line at the Okido Gate. Zitao spots the cherry blossom trees peeking out from over the top of the old imperial walls and points them out with excitement. It’s far too late for any actual blossoms to still be blooming, but the trees themselves are aged with beauty.
The fee to get inside is about 200 yen per person, and the boys stop Joonmyun from paying, saying that even they could manage to pay that amount of money. The group splits upon passing the gates, half wanting to go view the cherry blossom trees, the other half wanting to see the chrysanthemums.
Jongdae walks with Joonmyun and links their arms together. They walk by several ponds with water lilies blooming on top. Joonmyun stops to brush his fingers against one of the water lilies carefully. He’s not too sure how strict the Japanese Ministry is about the upkeep of the imperial garden, but he doesn’t want to get detained for accidentally picking off some of the flowers.
“I should have known you would choose a historical icon first,” Jongdae says, crouched next to Joonmyun. He glances at Joonmyun fondly before measuring a lily pad with the palm of his hand and comparing it against the size of Joonmyun’s face.
“It’s a beautiful garden,” Joonmyun replies.
“It is. Come on, lets look at the rest of the flowers.”
Jongdae stands up and he grips Joonmyun’s hand excitedly. There’s a grin on Jongdae’s face as he drags Joonmyun off to look at the chrysanthemums and Joonmyun feels himself relax. He’d let Jongdae lead for the day.
Lunch is spent at the teahouse in the middle of gardens, and they experiment with whisking green tea before falling onto their meals of miso soup and fish like starved animals. Joonmyun pulls out a digital camera from his bag and he and Jongdae squeeze together for a selca next to the tea sets on display.
At around three p.m., Joonmyun gets a call from Yifan. Several of them are heading out of the garden to check out the shops nearby, and Joonmyun starts to panic.
“No, wait for me, Jongdae and I can find the nearest gate and meet up with you guys.”
“Don’t worry about it, Joonmyun, just enjoy your time there. We don’t all have to go together. I’ll call you if something happens, I promise.”
Joonmyun looks over to Jongdae who is shaking his head, “Okay, then. Just be careful…”
“Got it.” The line clicks.
“Yifan is older than you, hyung. He can manage. Lets have a day just for us.” Jongdae throws his arm over Joonmyun’s shoulder and points out the Himalayan cedars towering overhead. The rest of the day is spent under the shades of the cedars, Joonmyun reciting the history of the gardens to Jongdae as the pair weave together little grass chains to hook onto each other’s ears.
The pair returns to the hotel at nine, having grabbed dinner at a passing ramen stand. Joonmyun flicks open his cell to find a single text from Yifan. It was from three hours ago and said that everyone was getting sushi at Fukuzushi and asked if Joonmyun was coming. He winces and texts back hurriedly explaining that he hadn’t seen the message.
His phone buzzes a second later, Yifan saying that it was okay and that Jongdae had given him the heads up.
Joonmyun sighs with relief. Even though the entire day had been spent with just Jongdae, Joonmyun finds that he doesn’t mind not having the others around. College had meant that Joonmyun couldn't spend as much time as he wanted with his best friend, the two of them separated into their own department. Maybe this trip was what he needed to have quality time with Jongdae again.
The following two days in Tokyo are just as fun. The boys take to exploring Shibuya, the shopping district is crowded and there are far too many shops with not enough time. Baekhyun and Zitao are in their element, eyes lighting up at each new store they pass. The prices are cringe-worthy but the boys refuse Joonmyun’s offer to pay, having brought along money with them to spend.
They get to Shibuya Crossing and watch as people pour onto the streets when the lights turn red. Jongdae is roped into a dare to dance in the middle of the crossing and the man grins good-naturedly, standing in the middle of the crowd as the group creates a quick human barricade. They are most definitely blocking road traffic and people are giving them dirty looks but Jongdae only has twenty-five more seconds before the lights change, and he quickly starts attempting to pop to an imaginary beat.
People start slowing once they notice what Jongdae is doing, and some passing high school girls pull out their phones to record the impromptu performance. Chanyeol yells when there are only five seconds left on the crossing meter and the group races to the other side, feet hitting the pavement right when the lights change.
Joonmyun bursts out laughing as he takes in how sweaty Jongdae got from just a quick dance and he lifts up Jongdae’s shirt to wipe at the sweat on the boy’s face.
“Don’t laugh at me, I’d like to see you try.”
Joonmyun shakes his head once with a grin and pinches Jongdae’s cheek fondly.
The last day in Tokyo is spent at Yoyagi Park. There are a lot of performers sprinkled throughout the park, and the boys head from one act to another. At one point, Joonmyun and Jongdae find themselves separated from everyone else after lingering around the beatboxers for too long. They find a man strumming a guitar on a bench nearby, the notes linger wistfully in the air and Jongdae hums quietly along.
The man locks eyes with Jongdae, fingers starting to strum the guitar strings at a stronger pace and Jongdae opens his mouth to sing.
Joonmyun had last heard Jongdae sing when he’d attended Jongdae’s acapellla group stage half a year ago. His favorite song had been Billie Jean, the strength of Jongdae’s voice filtering through nicely with the upbeat song. Joonmyun’s forgotten how striking Jongdae is though when he’s singing ballads.
Jongdae’s voice paints a picture of a nameless love, the man unable catch his love’s attention no matter how much he tries. The song is a plea for awareness, for a sign of hope, and the last note stretches out into the afternoon air waiting to be caught.
Jongdae is looking at Joonmyun and Joonmyun claps his hands quickly, a bright smile on his face. He can’t shake off how unsettled the song makes him, but it’s Jongdae’s singing and he’s always loved Jongdae’s voice.
“That was really great, Jongdae! What’s the song called? I haven’t heard it?”
“It’s actually one of my compositions; it was one of my inspirational submissions for music portfolio at the end of the year,” Jongdae says. He’s still staring at Joonmyun, almost expectantly. When Joonmyun reaches out to pull up Jongdae’s lips, the boy flinches slightly back.
Instead of letting his hand hang in the air, Joonmyun swings his arm to the left at a juggler in the distance.
“You’ll have to let me listen to that portfolio later. You’ve gotten better since the December performances.”
“Sure, why not, I have everything on my laptop back in the hotel. You can listen tonight,” Jongdae’s voice is resigned and the rest of the day goes by with a feeling of awkwardness between the two.
Joonmyun tosses in his bed later that night. He turns on his side to look at Jongdae sleeping in the opposite bed and frowns, his heart heavy in his chest.
The group shuffles back to the airport the next morning for their flight to Okinawa. Joonmyun decided to forgo going to Nara or Kyoto, spending only a day in either location seeming like a pathetic attempt at appreciating what each city had to offer. Their final two days in Japan would be Okinawa cooling off at the beaches and winding down.
They arrive in Okinawa at noon and send all of their luggage ahead of them in an airport van to the beach resort. They find the nearest beach where they can snorkel and rent equipment from a local shop. The water is clear and warm and the sand is hot between their toes as they race towards the incoming tide.
Joonmyun pulls on his goggles and practices breathing through the snorkel before stepping into the water. He doesn’t see a lot of fish at first but as he paddles further out, the lone fish give way to schools of tuna and passing sea turtles. Joonmyun tries to get a little closer down and ends up sticking his snorkel beneath the water. He surfaces with a splutter, pulling off his snorkel to spit water out of his mouth.
He looks around him to see how the others are doing, and sees Jongdae snorkeling with Baekhyun. The two have their heads stuck together as they look at the fish underwater and Joonmyun holds himself back when he realizes his initial impulse is to go join the two. He and Jongdae had been spending so much time together during the trip; the others hadn’t had any time to really hang out with either one of him, and for Joonmyun to go insert himself between Jongdae and Baekhyun right now would be entirely selfish. So instead, Joonmyun looks over to where Kyungsoo and Jongin are inspecting coral closer to the shore and swims over to join them.
The group snorkel for about two more hours before heading back to the beach. They find a good area to set up camp, with several logs to sit on and half of the group heads to the nearby outdoor showers while the other half returns the snorkeling equipment. Yifan and Minseok rent fishing rods and bait to use to catch dinner, and Sehun and Jongin immediately grab at the rods in excitement. Joonmyun doesn’t notice that Jongdae is missing until after dinner is caught and frowns when he can’t see him sitting with the others at the beach. He looks up to see Jongdae near the rocks and stares for a moment before running back towards the carts near the sidewalks.
If one doesn’t try to breach the tension hanging between two people, it will eventually stretch so thin that it snaps into an irreparable relationship. This was my attempt at climbing the wall, the result of which was dependent upon Jongdae.
The sun is low on the horizon, coppery rays bleeding into the ocean. The glare reflecting off of the water’s surface hurts Jongdae’s eyes so he stares at the edge of the rocks, watching as the tide pulls in and out, marking the rising water line with his eyes. He can hear Chanyeol and Zitao setting up the fireworks back on the beach; Chanyeol is pointing out where to place the fireworks and Zitao lets out a shriek when he accidentally lights a roman candle, sprinkles of blue and green light trickling into the air.
“Isn’t this amazing?” Jongdae looks behind him to see Joonmyun climbing up the rocks. He’s clutching a grease-stained paper bag in one hand, the other steadying himself against the rock surface as he makes his way up.
“It’s calming that’s for sure.” Jongdae reaches a hand down when Joonmyun’s head peeks over the top of the rocks, and Joonmyun grasps it, right hand slippery with sweat. Jongdae pulls back with a grunt and Joonmyun goes sprawling onto the cliff. The paper bag slides a few centimeters away.
Jongdae immediately lets go once Joonmyun rights himself, scooting a bit further away towards the rock’s edge. Joonmyun dusts his hands together, eyes taking in the way Jongdae has curled in on himself, arms hugging his knees, chin resting on top. “I found a taiyaki stand down the street,” Joonmyun says lightly. He pulls a red bean cake out of the paper bag, and holds the pastry a few centimeters from Jongdae’s mouth. Jongdae eyes it for a second before leaning forward to nip at the pastry’s tail; he ends up biting air.
Joonmyun has a cheeky grin on his face when Jongdae looks up. Jongdae inches forward a little more and Joonmyun, once again, pulls the taiyaki a little bit back. “I am not going to fall forward on my face for you, Joonmyun,” Jongdae says flatly.
Joonmyun’s grin wavers slightly before strengthening, “I don’t expect you to; you have fast reflexes. Come on; does kitty Jongdae not want to play?” Joonmyun jabs the taiyaki back and forward like he would a fencing sword, waving the fish pastry side to side just to be obnoxious. Jongdae sighs, rolling his eyes-he could never refuse Joonmyun.
Jongdae pushes forward right when Joonmyun thrusts the taiyaki again and the cake actually rams into Jongdae’s mouth. Some of the red bean paste ends up being squeezed out of the sides and Jongdae now has it smeared around his mouth.
“Oops?”
Jongdae gurgles at Joonmyun, eyes glaring daggers.
“I’m sorry. What was that?”
Jongdae pulls out the pastry, and swallows to speak, “Kitty Jongdae did not ask to die.”
Joonmyun laughs, reaching up a hand to swipe at the red bean paste at the corner of Jongdae’s lips. Joonmyun doesn’t notice the way Jongdae tenses up, his eyes unfocused as his fingers linger above Jongdae’s skin.
“Hyung.”
Joonmyun shakes his head slightly, a smile automatically pulling on his lips, “Hmm?”
Jongdae flicks his eyes down towards Joonmyun’s outstretched hand, “Aren’t you going to pass the rest of the taiyaki?”
“Oh?” Right, the taiyaki. It was going to get cold if the two men didn’t eat it soon. “Here, have another one. I bought four.” Joonmyun retracts his hand, picking out another cake and handing it over. Jongdae takes it and pats at the space next to him.
“Scoot closer, it’s chilly; you’ll catch a cold.”
It's quiet as the two men munch side by side, Joonmyun leaning back on one hand, Jongdae hunching forward on his knees. By now the sun is halfway below the horizon and the shadows are creeping into the summer sky. Down below, Yifan is ordering the others around to set up the fire pit.
Joonmyun watches Jongdae. For some reason his best friend was pulling away from him lately--there's a distance between their shoulders now as they walk, their steps mismatched where they used to fall in sync. Joonmyun isn't sure what went wrong. Maybe it started that day in the park or maybe the plane ride over to Okinawa but regardless the fault has to be his-Jongdae doesn't pull away when they others reach out towards him.
"You know you can tell me if I did something wrong, right?"
Jongdae lifts his head in surprise, as if he'd forgotten Joonmyun was there. The tension in his shoulders says otherwise.
"Hyung, what are you talking about?"
"I mean," Joonmyun picks at the crumbs on his cargo shorts, "I try to notice when any of you guys are upset, but you know me, I get a little caught up in things sometimes," Joonmyun smiles softly, "Remember, it took me a week to notice that you got contacts back in grade seven."
Joonmyun chances a glance at Jongdae. The other boy's eyes are alight with the setting sun: bright, fiery, and angry. Jongdae opens his mouth once, looks like he's going to shout before he groans, hanging his head and gripping his hair. "You didn't do anything. God, don't blame yourself. You always do that," Jongdae mumbles.
Joonmyun frowns, "But-"
"I'm just being dumb okay? It'll pass." Jongdae hesitates before reaching over to grip Joonmyun's hand, "I think...I just realized that you're really graduating, you know?"
If anything, Joonmyun's frown deepens. He wants to brush his hand through the hair at the nape of Jongdae's neck; to pull the boy close and hold him, but he's not sure if that's allowed anymore. Joonmyun rushes to speak, "No, Jongdae, I don't know. We've gone through this before, back in high school-"
"But back in high school, I knew where we would all be after graduation!"
Joonmyun is stunned by the outburst and Jongdae cringes. He looks like he wants to take his words back but he steels his gaze. Jongdae turns Joonmyun's hand over and traces his life path with a finger. "Back in high school things were different. We...were different," Jongdae says.
"I'll always be here, Jongdae. I’m just going to get a job, it’s not like I won’t be around. I haven't changed."
"But I have." Jongdae lets go of Joonmyun's hand. He turns around; Joonmyun stares into Jongdae's eyes and sees nothing of the eight year old boy who had told him his fly was open the moment they met. The mischievousness is still there, Joonmyun knows, but all that is reflected back at him right now is a wall of solemn determination. The emotion seems to harden something within Jongdae, and Joonmyun realizes that somehow, Jongdae had grown up without Joonmyun's notice.
"Hyung-no, Joonmyun. Our friendship, it's standing in front of a forked road. You haven't noticed, but I have. And I'm making a decision for us if you don’t make one soon."
Joonmyun digs his fingernails into his knees, “What do you mean…Jongdae…Kim Jongdae! Aren’t we okay like this?” Fear wells up within Joonmyun, it presses against his rib cage and he feels like he can’t breathe. Jongdae wasn’t going to end their friendship, was he? They’ve gone through worse: Jongdae nearly losing his voice before his departmental exam, Joonmyun breaking down when his older brother ended up in a car accident. Their friendship-it meant more than this.
Jongdae stands up, brushing off the back of his shorts. He looks down at Joonmyun in the dimming day light and like always, he picks up all of Joonmyun’s fears. He holds out a hand, ready for Joonmyun to take, “Don’t worry, hyung. I’m not going to leave you. Just. Trust me.”
Joonmyun gnaws his lower lip before reaching up and taking Jongdae’s hand. A grin breaks across Jongdae’s face and in the background, another set of fireworks lights up the sky.
We had grown up side by side. Boys slowly becoming men-enduring all of the tribulations associated with youth. We had both left boyhood long ago, that was reality, but when both of us are men and one of us is still treated by the other as a boy, an imbalance of feelings tips the scale.
Jongdae pulls Joonmyun down the clump of rocks, eyes now lit with excitement as he looks over to where Chanyeol is jumping up and down, waving glow-in-the dark sticks in one hand and skewers of grilled fish in the other. Joonmyun grips Jongdae’s hand tightly, not willing to let go. The summer night air is sticky against Joonmyun’s skin but he feels cooler than ever.
Setting foot in Japan was like setting foot in a twilight zone: nothing was defined, anything was possible. Jongdae grew courage from this ambiguity because sometimes, one change is needed to initiate another change. That summer, the heat thawed our frozen relationship; we were afraid to move forward but if no one had moved at that time we would have both drowned in our own fears.
Joonmyun sits down on a washed up log next to the fire. Jongdae immediately makes a grab for the skewers of smoked fish. He ends up grabbing the same one as Sehun. The two boys lock eyes before shoving at each other.
“Maknae, you better let go. My fish. Mine.”
“Go catch your own fish then!”
Minseok, who is tending to the fire and rotating the cooking fish, lets out a shout when Jongdae picks up a handful of sand, threatening to throw it at Sehun, “You’re going to get that in the food, Jongdae!” Minseok kicks at Sehun from his crouched position, too far away to get at Jongdae. Kyungsoo marches over and grabs the back of both boys’ collars and pulls them apart. Jongdae is deposited at Joonmyun’s feet and Sehun is dragged over to Lu Han where the elder pats his shoulder half-heartedly.
Jongdae holds up two skewers of fish triumphantly, biting into one with relish, and placing the other in Joonmyun’s lap. Joonmyun waits for a second before holding out an expectant hand as Jongdae scowls at the mouthful of bones he had bit into. Joonmyun pulls out the bones in both of their fish, and watches the rest of the group set off the rest of the fireworks lining their side of the beach in a crude heart. The majority of them are display tubes, with a couple of fountain fireworks mixed in. The rest of the night is filled with laughter and hijinks, Lu Han pulling out the alcohol at ten p.m. and Sehun and Zitao providing plenty of entertainment with renditions of girl group dances. Joonmyun pushes back the incident with Jongdae to think about later; there were too many questions there, some of which he wasn’t sure he wanted to answer right now.
Zitao calls his hotel room at seven the next morning.
“Joonmyun-hyung! There’s a cycling tour going on today, can we go?” Zitao’s voice is far too chipper for this time of day and Joonmyun groans groggily into the phone. Joonmyun’s half sprawled out of the bed, sheets tangled around his feet and he scrunches his face in annoyance.
“Zitao, do you know what time it is?”
Zitao sounds slightly apologetic, a “You know I wake up early, hyung…” filtering through the phone line. Joonmyun sighs. Over on the other bed, Jongdae has pulled his second pillow over his ears, body borrowing further beneath his sheets.
“Okay. Okay, sign up for what you want. I’ll look it over when I actually wake up.” Joonmyun barely catches Zitao’s excited “Will do!” before placing the phone back in the receiver with a clack. He throws his covers back over his head and tries to fall back asleep but his mind is too awake and the sunlight filtering through the cracks in the blinds is shining on his bed. Joonmyun gets out of bed with a frustrated exhale, tongue licking at the sticky dryness at the roof of his mouth. At least he isn’t hung over.
He drinks a glass of water, brushes his teeth and showers. Still in only his towel, Joonmyun walks over to Jongdae’s bed, grabs a spare pillow from his own and whacks Jongdae awake. Jongdae kicks out at Joonmyun in retaliation and his left heel stabs into Joonmyun’s hip, a little too close to the crotch for comfort, and Joonmyun hisses, whacking Jongdae on the head again before dropping the pillow onto the bed.
“Get up! We’re going bike riding today!”
“Go jump off a cliff,” Jongdae grumbles. He squints, bleary-eyed before shuffling off to the bathroom.
Joonmyun orders room service, making sure to ask for extra coffee, before making wake up calls to the rest of the group’s rooms. He shoves the coffee at Jongdae when he gets out, and calls the front desk about the tour Zitao mentioned. The tour is self-led, guests able to rent bikes from the hotel and given maps of highlighted biking routes. The rental fee was low, they told him and Joonmyun paid for the twelve bike rentals that Zitao had placed for him earlier in the morning.
There are several routes along the water front and the boys zip along the sidewalk, wind blowing into their faces. Jongin starts up a game of tag, weaving around Lu Han to tap Chanyeol on the shoulder, and pedaling away as fast as he can. Joonmyun pushes forward, leaning into his bike to get away from Chanyeol but the younger man reaches over easily and touches Joonmyun’s back with a laugh.
Joonmyun looks in front of him for a target and spots Jongdae coasting some meters ahead. Jongdae’s hands are off of his handles and he’s pedaling slowly to keep the bike from toppling over. He doesn’t seem to realize the game that’s in play.
Joonmyun slowly starts to increase his speed until he’s right behind Jongdae. He leans over and taps Jongdae’s outstretched hands, and Jongdae immediately lowers them to clutch onto his handles in fear.
“Tag! You’re it, Jongdae!”
“What-“
Joonmyun pedals even faster, sea breeze stinging his eyes, to get away from Jongdae and Jongdae gives chase. There’s this feeling of absolute bliss that’s enveloping Joonmyun. He wants to blame it on the absolute freedom that biking near the ocean front gives him, but when he turns around to check on how close Jongdae is, he’s pretty sure that it’s just the joy of having Jongdae close, of having Jongdae in his sights.
Joonmyun’s mind flashes back to the previous night, remembers the fear that choked him at the thought of losing Jongdae’s friendship, and closes his eyes. He releases his hands from his handle bars as his bike to coasts forward, a yell escapes his lips and he opens his eyes with renewed strength. He isn’t as blind as Jongdae might believe him to be, and if last night’s hint was any indication, maybe it was time for Joonmyun to accept what was in his own heart; it was the last day of their vacation after all, tonight would be the flight back home.
Jongdae catches up to Joonmyun and skims his fingertips against Joonmyun’s torso. A delighted laugh bubbles from Jongdae’s lips and Joonmyun takes in Jongdae’s rosy wind-burned cheeks and tousled hair. He thinks back to the song Jongdae had sung at Yoyogi Park: about the love whose face is shadowed until the singer is willing to lift the veil, about how the veil can only be lifted with the confidence of the singer’s own feelings and Joonmyun understands.
“Jongdae!”
“What?!” Jongdae yells back, slowing down even though Joonmyun could easily tag him now.
Joonmyun considers beating around the bush but there’s no point, “Do you want to go on a date when we get back to Seoul?”
Jongdae whips around so fast that he ends up turning his handle bars by accident. Joonmyun’s eyes widen and he reaches over to steady the bike as it starts to teeter. Jongdae moves out of reach and the bike moves steadily once more.
“Are you…Are you serious?!”
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Joonmyun looks over with a quiet smile.
Jongdae laughs, stunned. Jongdae may know Joonmyun’s mind like the back of his hand but apparently he still had a long way to go to reading Joonmyun’s heart. He had been ready to be the leader this time; the one who would choose the road they’d walk together, but he guesses that Joonmyun had been standing in front of the forked road with him the whole time. Joonmyun, like him, just needed to know that he wasn’t standing there alone.
“I’m paying for dinner, just letting you know!” Jongdae shouts before turning around to go tag Sehun.
Sehun squawks upon seeing Jongdae biking towards him like a charging bull, and weaves off path towards the shops lining the beach.
Joonmyun groans before giving chase towards the two, the rest of the group following at a more sedate pace.
Jongdae’s back was strong, lit by Okinawa’s morning sun. It was my turn to watch him instead of the other way around. Our love was as fresh as the incoming sea breeze and like a storm contained for far too long, it would grow in strength as we returned to Seoul in time for monsoon season. A love that started in the summer heat, it’s about to enter a new stage now, this time on the tail coats of Spring.
May 2021
Lu Han bursts through the door, tie loose, and hair ruffled.
Joonmyun looks up in alarm, takes one look at Lu Han and rises to his feet quickly. “What’s wrong? Didn’t you go see Sehun?”
Jongdae and Baekhyun push themselves off of the couch, Jongdae letting go of the pillow he had grabbed from Baekhyun. Baekhyun clucks his tongue, striding over to adjust Lu Han’s hair and tie with a frown. Lu Han slaps Baekhyun’s hands off, “No time for that! Sehun’s having a meltdown in the groom’s room!”
“What? Why?” Jongdae grabs his jacket from the nearby coat rack, holding the door open for Joonmyun as the three men file out of the room after Lu Han.
Lu Han runs his hand through his already disheveled hair and Baekhyun makes noise of distress. “Apparently, Krystal just texted saying that she’s pregnant.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Joonmyun nearly rams into Baekhyun because the man has stopped in the middle of the hallway, and Joonmyun pushes Baekhyun into motion with little shoves of urgency.
“There were a lot of cuss words and angry Line emojis involved. I couldn’t actually understand all of it, but basically the consensus is that she’s going to rip off Sehun’s dick after the wedding is over.”
All four men wince and Lu Han opens the door to Sehun’s dressing room. Sehun is sitting down on a plush loveseat near the middle, his head in his hands. He looks up at the sound of the door and his face has fear written all over it.
“Joonmyun, hyung, what do I do? We’re not even married yet and she’s threatening to castrate me!” Sehun whines loudly. Zitao is holding Sehun in a half-hug and he catches Sehun’s hand when it reaches up to grip his styled hair. In a corner of the room, Yifan has earphones plugged in and is trying his hardest to pretend the situation doesn’t exist. Jongin is leaning against the wall, shoulders shaking with mirth.
Joonmyun feels his earlier hysteria bubbling back in his stomach. He hadn’t been ready to see their maknae get married-the first to get married-and now Sehun’s going to be the first to start a family as well. Joonmyun has learned a lot of things since graduating college, but Baby 101 was not one of them.
“How did she even find out now? We’re at the wedding venue for God’s sake. Did she just decide to go to check in the bathroom before the ceremony for fun?”
“Ah no…” Sehun fidgets in his seat, eyes firmly on his hands in his lap, “We might have gotten a little too excited a month before the wedding date. I think she went to get tested at the hospital earlier in the week when her period didn’t come; she just got an email about the results, like, twenty minutes ago. To be fair, she was the one that started it!”
Jongin stares in amazement at Sehun, “You two are just made for each other aren’t you,” he whispers.
“Fuck you, Jongin!”
“No, thanks, apparently there’s too much of that going around.”
Jongdae chokes on a laugh and Sehun reaches over to chuck the nearest water bottle at Jongin, eyes blazing with fury.
“Okay! You know what, you have ten minutes before the ceremony starts. There is a room full of guests in the ballroom, your family is here to see you get married, and you look like you’re walking to your death,” Joonmyun says, “Baekhyun’s going to fix your makeup and make sure you’re picture perfect, and we’re going to walk out of here proud. Today is your day, it’s your wedding, and a baby is happy thing. We’ll worry about Krystal later, okay?”
Joonmyun smiles pleasantly, and waves away any of Sehun’s protests, before walking out into the hallway with Jongdae in tow.
“I knew I had a bad feeling, Jongdae.” Joonmyun says with his head between his knees.
Jongdae laughs, “At least we’ll never have that problem!”
“Oh my god.”
“Alright, alright, come on, it’s not like Sehun’s actually your son. You’re pushing the father act a little too far, leader-hyung.” Jongdae pulls Joonmyun back up and the two start walking towards the ballroom entrance, “Buck up, I’m sure we’ll get plenty of entertainment out of this wedding. It might just be as eventful as our own.”
Joonmyun blinks before glancing at Jongdae in surprise. The other man’s face is impassive, set in a default half-grin, and he looks over at Joonmyun with a serious gaze.
“I was thinking of having a music-themed wedding. The guests can only enter after performing five seconds of their worst karaoke singing, that way when I sing my composition after the vows, I’ll look even better.”
Joonmyun snorts in disbelief but there is a grin stretching across his face. He tries to school his features into an affronted expression, but his mouth keeps twisting into a smile, “Do you expect me to accept this type of proposal. You’re not even kneeling.”
“No, I’m just making plans. You always say that preparation is key,” Jongdae pushes open the ballroom door, and the two men slip through. “I need to make sure you’ll actually accept before I make a fool of myself with a proposal. It’ll be the type of thing that will have you falling straight into my arms.”
Joonmyun shakes his head slightly as the pair fall into line with the rest of the groomsmen. Sehun is standing at the altar, hands clenched together, face blank. The wedding theme starts playing a few seconds later, and the ballroom doors open smoothly. Joonmyun watches the way Sehun’s face transforms as Krystal walks out in her wedding gown; his eyes brighten significantly and while he’s sure that the nervousness in Sehun’s face is partly due to his earlier fear, the majority of the nervousness comes off as wonder as to how Krystal was really going to be Sehun’s. It’s an expression that someone cannot summon out of thin air, and Joonmyun wistfully longs to experience that moment himself.
The vows are said without incident, the couple sliding the wedding rings onto each other’s ring fingers at the end before Krystal yanks Sehun forward for the kiss. Joonmyun can’t see Sehun’s face but he can see the way his shoulders tense, the way Krystal’s fingernails dig in painfully into Sehun’s neck, and he feels a slight amount of pity. The couple separate to give the customary bow towards the audience. When Sehun rises from his bow, his earlier bliss has disappeared from his face and touches his lips gingerly.
“She almost bit my lip off, that she-devil!” Sehun whispers to Jongin, his best man, on his right.
Jongdae turns to Joonmyun at the end of the ceremony, speaking playfully, with just a touch of nerves, “So what do you think, hyung? You just saw how this wedding went.”
Joonmyun tip-toes slightly to whisper into Jongdae’s ear, “I think,” he breathes, “That that proposal better come soon, Jongdae. Because I’m going to need plenty of time to plan later.”
Jongdae raises his hands in two thumbs-up, a wide smile on his face and starts shaking his ass to Troublemaker as the song starts playing through the loud speakers. Joonmyun looks around in embarrassment.
Our love story was one of the first to start. It came on the wings of the summer heat in 2013, and has blazed a trail of memories all of the way up to 2021. The excitement of new love has touched each of our friends; Yifan and Yixing, Lu Han and Jongin, Zitao and Baekhyun, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo, Minseok and Luna, Sehun and Krystal.
Jongdae pulls Joonmyun closer to him and Joonmyun laughs before making a poor attempt at a body wave.
A new set of doors have opened up now. Marriage. Life won’t get any easier for any us; married life will be full of even more bickering and drama, but our loves will continue to burn bright, a glowing ember that will never cool. 2021, it’s the start of a new beginning.
What could possibly be in store?
Joonmyun rests his head on Jongdae’s shoulder and smiles.
Fin
-For clarification, the italicized narrations are from Joonmyun's perspective and were inspired by the voice-overs in Reply 1997.
All locations and businesses mentioned in this fic are real.
-This fic is the longest thing I've ever written and I'm not sure what to think of it.
I might have projected through Krystal a bit.
-Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed this!