Lately my life has been a waking dream for which I'm mostly greatful. To wake to the dream is far preferable than waking to an empty bed, save for yourself.
It's wonderful to have that waking dream. Mine's been too much of waking to an empty bed, but that's better than waking to the wrong person in it with you.
How does one respond to a dream? Untouchable? Fleeting..... wake up and suddenly gone. And fuck if it doesn't hurt in those deepest corners of the body you didn't know where there until the pain began. Then it spreads slowly, like armor of the future, coating you in solid pain so that the dream can't hurt you any more than it already has.
I've been learning that gripping tightly doesn't work for elusive things like dreams, but that wrapping arms loosely around might. The dream slips out, and one can't force it to stay in, but it might come back, and sometimes it does. Sometimes I welcome that kind of pain, because at least I know I'm alive, not just floating in some limbo. If I can't be hurt any more then there's nothing left to lose and it takes away my fear. I'll take that trade.
The unreachable truth that lies within dreams are what we always seek in the unconciousness. I loved your post. It was beautiful beyond words as you can tell. You have a way of describing everything. I love it.
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I miss your voice.
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