(Untitled)

Oct 18, 2011 13:37


I would have preferred
If he came on eagle's wings
Than for this ransom

How does one of us
Redeem a thousand of them?
Here he is, with us.

The willow branches
The sweet scent of the etrog
Gilad Shalit free

יותר שמחתי
אם בא על כנפות נשר
מפדיון הזה

איך יפדה אחד
ממנו אלף מהם
כאן הוא אתנו

ערבי הנחל
ריח מתוק של אתרוג
שליט בן חורין

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Comments 9

yamamanama October 18 2011, 21:44:58 UTC
Your poetry is bad and you should feel bad.

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richardf8 October 18 2011, 23:42:58 UTC
Thank you for your thoughts.

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cellio October 19 2011, 01:29:21 UTC
I don't seem to be able to respond in like form. I agree with you; I'm glad he's home, but I fear the price is too high and sets a bad precedent. This isn't a POW exchange; it's ransom for kidnapping. I fear what will happen next. :-(

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richardf8 October 19 2011, 03:49:38 UTC
I know what I think is called for.

But then, I've been described as "a good liberal in every way, but to the right of Attila the Hun when it comes to Israel."

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makovette October 19 2011, 03:12:50 UTC
Pleased to see you posting, hope you and yours are doing well.

And agreed, this is a horribly harsh situation..

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richardf8 October 19 2011, 03:45:33 UTC
Thanks. Lots has been going on IRL leaving little time for LJ, especially since LJ has gotten so . . . ugh lately, with the ads and all. This is actually a crossposting from my other blog, which I also don't much post to.

And I don't know if I said it on your LJ, but many congratulations to you and WolfTribe.

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deckardcanine October 19 2011, 13:23:27 UTC
First I thought you were criticizing the alleged sacrifice of Jesus. Once I Googled "Gilad," I recognized the news story. And yes, it's an awfully lopsided trade.

I'm pretty unforgiving of haikus that don't follow the 5-7-5 rule. If you can extend the second-to-last line by one syllable, so much the better.

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richardf8 October 19 2011, 14:47:36 UTC
Thanks, the scansion has been corrected in both the Hebrew and the English.

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deckardcanine October 19 2011, 17:10:31 UTC
Good work. I didn't dare suggest how to extend.

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