(no subject)
emails, emails and more emails.
June 18
Still in captivity Australia. Actually, I'm having a really good time here, although I have been secretly hoping for Chris to show up unannounced like he did in France. I've rubbed lotion on my body and gone to bed naked (instead of my comfy flannel pajamas) every night just in case, but it doesn't look like he will. It is a long way to travel. And I'll be home in a few days anyway. But still.
I may have complained a little about it to Chris over the phone. Not in so many words, of course. Just that it sucks that I'm here and he's not.
"You'll be home soon," he said reassuringly.
"I know."
"It's a very long way to travel."
"I know."
"And there's always emails."
I laugh. I can't help it.
"Chris, you write LOUSY emails."
"Excuse me? I do not!"
I snort. "Oh, come ON, you sound like you're giving me a wether report or something: Dear Justin. Yesterday was very hot. Today is a little bit better. Tomorrow it might rain so I might not go to the beach. How's the weather in Australia? Wait, I can just check the weather forecast. Again. Bye, CK. It's not exactly my idea of a love-letter."
"Yeah, well, yours aren't all that romantic either: Dear Chris. I miss you a lot. Do you miss me? I'm so horny without you. I tried to do that thing you do with your fingers in my ass but it just wasn't the same. Blah blah blah. Can't wait to see you soon so I can hump you and stuff. Sloppy kisses, J."
(I'm blushing a little but Chris can't se that) "Oh really? Well how about: Dear Justin. Can't wait to see you either. If it's nice weather we can sit in my back yard. If it rains I guess we'll sit inside instead. Now I have to go clean the toilet. Later, CK."
"Well, I like to keep you up to date on my every-day life."
"Well, I like having sex with you."
"Emailing me how hard your dick is and how hard it will be next time you're in town is NOT having sex."
"No, it sure isn't!"
He sounds a bit hurt now. "What would you like me to write about then?"
"I don't know," I say. "Can't you...can't you say that you, you know, love me, or something?"
"You already know I do. I have to put it in my emails now?"
"YES! I mean, no! Don't. Whatever."
Okay, so we've had our first long-distance disagreement. He paid for it, though. Small victories, and all that.
10pm local time
I wear my blue flannel pajamas to bed, and I feel a bit silly about those other nights. I guess I've pretty much given up on any nightly surprise visits.
I still use the lotion, though. Your skin can never be too smooth or too silky. And I smell so good!
10.30pm
Man, it's hot! Flannel really doesn't breathe at all. Isn't it supposed to be winter here?
Mmm, naked.
June 19, 9.00am local time
So I checked my emails this morning. There was one from Chris, dated last night:
Dear Justin. Did you know that I've wanted you madly ever since you were just a young thang and when we finally got together I couldn't believe it. I'm very very lucky. Love, CK. PS. It didn't rain yesterday after all.
Awwwwww. AWWWWWW. I'm all mushy now. And happy again. And I go home tomorrow! Who-hoo!
Oh, an email from Lance just popped up on my screen! I'll open that one now too.
9.05am local time
Help! Lance Bass wants to have sex with me! I can't believe it! How did this happen? Thank GOD I'm half-way across the world right now!
Oh no! I'm going home tomorrow!
10.30 am local time
Okay. It was all a big mistake. Phew. Everything's been explained now.
Just to recapture, this is what happened this morning:
When I opened my emails this morning there was one from Lance.
To: JT
From: LB
Subject: blue balls!
J,
I want you to know that as soon as the piercing heals I will strip you naked, lick you in that place you like so much and then ride you all night long.
L
To which I of course went Oh my god! Lance Bass wants me!
And then Oh my god! Lance Bass got a another piercing! I hope he means in his TONGUE!
To: LB
From: JT
Subject: RE: blue balls!
Lance,
As flattered as I am I have Chris now and I love him very much, so I can't have sex with you when I get back from Australia. I hope you understand.
Hugs and kisses,
JT
PS. I hope your piercing is healing well.
About five minutes later I got this reply:
From: LB
To: JT
Subject: WTF???
Justin?
WTF???
Well, that wasn't very enlightening. But then I got another email from Lance, when he apparently had composed himself enough to explain.
From: LB
To: "JT aka Moron"
Subject: Re: Re: blue balls!
Okay. That email wasn't meant for you, Justin.
You know, you and Jessie have the same initials and it seems I mistakenly clicked on the wrong one in my addressbook. I apologize for that and want you to know that from now on you are filed under "moron" instead.
L.
PS. Hello? You couldn't have guessed that it was a mistake?
PS2. Oh, and I'm not the one who got the piercing. You should feel free to tell JC all about that, by the way.
So, see, it's all been explained. There was no inappropriate sexual proposition, no invitation to be licked anywhere. Well, not for me anyway. Now I can just forget the whole thing and go back to knowing nothing about Lance and Jessie's sex life apart from what JC forces on me.
9.45am local time
However, I just need to vent a couple of things:
1, Lance apparently does not want me. This is good. But:
2, Sometimes people hit on me that I would never imagine (examples: mothers with kids at concerts, skiing instructors who are your only way down a 12000 ft mountain, Antonio Banderas etc.). So I can't help assuming that...well, that. Right?
3, Will I ever be able to talk to Jessie again without thinking about his penis?
10am, local time
Well, at least there are no more emails from Lance after that, or, possibly, ever.
And I'm looking forward to going home again! Pretty sick of emails now.
June 18
Still in captivity Australia. Actually, I'm having a really good time here, although I have been secretly hoping for Chris to show up unannounced like he did in France. I've rubbed lotion on my body and gone to bed naked (instead of my comfy flannel pajamas) every night just in case, but it doesn't look like he will. It is a long way to travel. And I'll be home in a few days anyway. But still.
I may have complained a little about it to Chris over the phone. Not in so many words, of course. Just that it sucks that I'm here and he's not.
"You'll be home soon," he said reassuringly.
"I know."
"It's a very long way to travel."
"I know."
"And there's always emails."
I laugh. I can't help it.
"Chris, you write LOUSY emails."
"Excuse me? I do not!"
I snort. "Oh, come ON, you sound like you're giving me a wether report or something: Dear Justin. Yesterday was very hot. Today is a little bit better. Tomorrow it might rain so I might not go to the beach. How's the weather in Australia? Wait, I can just check the weather forecast. Again. Bye, CK. It's not exactly my idea of a love-letter."
"Yeah, well, yours aren't all that romantic either: Dear Chris. I miss you a lot. Do you miss me? I'm so horny without you. I tried to do that thing you do with your fingers in my ass but it just wasn't the same. Blah blah blah. Can't wait to see you soon so I can hump you and stuff. Sloppy kisses, J."
(I'm blushing a little but Chris can't se that) "Oh really? Well how about: Dear Justin. Can't wait to see you either. If it's nice weather we can sit in my back yard. If it rains I guess we'll sit inside instead. Now I have to go clean the toilet. Later, CK."
"Well, I like to keep you up to date on my every-day life."
"Well, I like having sex with you."
"Emailing me how hard your dick is and how hard it will be next time you're in town is NOT having sex."
"No, it sure isn't!"
He sounds a bit hurt now. "What would you like me to write about then?"
"I don't know," I say. "Can't you...can't you say that you, you know, love me, or something?"
"You already know I do. I have to put it in my emails now?"
"YES! I mean, no! Don't. Whatever."
Okay, so we've had our first long-distance disagreement. He paid for it, though. Small victories, and all that.
10pm local time
I wear my blue flannel pajamas to bed, and I feel a bit silly about those other nights. I guess I've pretty much given up on any nightly surprise visits.
I still use the lotion, though. Your skin can never be too smooth or too silky. And I smell so good!
10.30pm
Man, it's hot! Flannel really doesn't breathe at all. Isn't it supposed to be winter here?
Mmm, naked.
June 19, 9.00am local time
So I checked my emails this morning. There was one from Chris, dated last night:
Dear Justin. Did you know that I've wanted you madly ever since you were just a young thang and when we finally got together I couldn't believe it. I'm very very lucky. Love, CK. PS. It didn't rain yesterday after all.
Awwwwww. AWWWWWW. I'm all mushy now. And happy again. And I go home tomorrow! Who-hoo!
Oh, an email from Lance just popped up on my screen! I'll open that one now too.
9.05am local time
Help! Lance Bass wants to have sex with me! I can't believe it! How did this happen? Thank GOD I'm half-way across the world right now!
Oh no! I'm going home tomorrow!
10.30 am local time
Okay. It was all a big mistake. Phew. Everything's been explained now.
Just to recapture, this is what happened this morning:
When I opened my emails this morning there was one from Lance.
To: JT
From: LB
Subject: blue balls!
J,
I want you to know that as soon as the piercing heals I will strip you naked, lick you in that place you like so much and then ride you all night long.
L
To which I of course went Oh my god! Lance Bass wants me!
And then Oh my god! Lance Bass got a another piercing! I hope he means in his TONGUE!
To: LB
From: JT
Subject: RE: blue balls!
Lance,
As flattered as I am I have Chris now and I love him very much, so I can't have sex with you when I get back from Australia. I hope you understand.
Hugs and kisses,
JT
PS. I hope your piercing is healing well.
About five minutes later I got this reply:
From: LB
To: JT
Subject: WTF???
Justin?
WTF???
Well, that wasn't very enlightening. But then I got another email from Lance, when he apparently had composed himself enough to explain.
From: LB
To: "JT aka Moron"
Subject: Re: Re: blue balls!
Okay. That email wasn't meant for you, Justin.
You know, you and Jessie have the same initials and it seems I mistakenly clicked on the wrong one in my addressbook. I apologize for that and want you to know that from now on you are filed under "moron" instead.
L.
PS. Hello? You couldn't have guessed that it was a mistake?
PS2. Oh, and I'm not the one who got the piercing. You should feel free to tell JC all about that, by the way.
So, see, it's all been explained. There was no inappropriate sexual proposition, no invitation to be licked anywhere. Well, not for me anyway. Now I can just forget the whole thing and go back to knowing nothing about Lance and Jessie's sex life apart from what JC forces on me.
9.45am local time
However, I just need to vent a couple of things:
1, Lance apparently does not want me. This is good. But:
2, Sometimes people hit on me that I would never imagine (examples: mothers with kids at concerts, skiing instructors who are your only way down a 12000 ft mountain, Antonio Banderas etc.). So I can't help assuming that...well, that. Right?
3, Will I ever be able to talk to Jessie again without thinking about his penis?
10am, local time
Well, at least there are no more emails from Lance after that, or, possibly, ever.
And I'm looking forward to going home again! Pretty sick of emails now.