for your sake I hope heaven and hell
are really there, but I wouldn't hold my breath

its so annoying when people say they will call and dont. ughhh

fuck fuck fuckin around...

i have no energy... and im still very upset. Things are still up in the air, and all pressures on my. I still cant look at him. I think i would cry. I want to hate him but i cant... I love him :( I want to hug him and tell him everything will be ok, and i forgive him. But i cant. I dont like having to pretend im ok and im happy. things are not ( Read more... )

divorce.
i hate that word.

i want to surround myself with you.

so many odd feelings right now.. write, write, think, write, think, think.

write it down, never forget. fucking writers block. really bad. i can think. but i cant write it down. this is no good. no good, dammit.

i dont know what i want and im scared because of that. so many feelings right now...

i hate being so damn emotional.

why am i being this way?

movie night worked out. so scratch that. terrible movie though...

people can be really lame.

movie night turns into guys night
"lets hang out" turns into "im going to a movie with blah blah"
i'll call you when she gets here turns into stare mode at my phone
canada turns into this fucking night. i hate this night.
i hope everyone has fun.

i am happy. that is all i can say right now. there is a smile on my face, a real one, and i love it.

I always end up not sleeping very much AT ALL on the weekends now. Its taking a toll on me. Do i mind that much though ( Read more... )

ok so i just 'herd' some llamas into a yard that had a hole in the fence, and then i fixed it. I have accomplished something. I also just cleaned out my car with celie. My care is a lot nicer and smells GOOD for once. Not like carters stank ass ( Read more... )