(no subject)
My mind is a warzone
where blood, violence and rage
are standard diversions
from the cries/tears of the sane
My heart is a wasteland
remote, vast and untame
where no thing ever grows
no matter how much it rains
My flesh lies in ruin
where the sad restless remains
of a faded fierce warrior
corrode, defeated by/with/in pain
But with courage intact/steadfast
I strive not in vain (bleh)
steeling, honing, laying in wait,
unreckoned sun rising
tragic despair is not all I contain
"Cries" in the first stanza was originally "tears," but I am not completely sold on this alteration yet. "Sane" was originally "slain" but that seemed like it was trying too hard. Plus slain things neither tear nor cry cuz they're dead. Fourth stanza is in the midst of being completely reworked. It's original quaintness detracted from the overall quality and impact, and I particularly disliked the word "dwell." Sounds contrived.
Yep. Still don't like it. Improving, though.
Eh. Yeah. Something along those lines. Second-to-last line still needs trimmed and polished. Maybe the line before it also.
Second stanza is *perfection!* Lyrical, even.
So wierd. I never write poetry, but a few lines of this have been kicking around my head for a couple days for some reason. Creative expression, I guess. Soul hasn't had much chance to speak of late amid my obsessive pursuit of pass/fail wiring schematics.