It's amazing how some of the things you wrote here struck home. Even though the circumstances were different, when you talk about becoming the worst version of yourself, being unable to process the fact that you were content with being single before this guy, the feeling that you should never open up again lest you get hurt... yeah, been there. Haven't we all?
Congrats on getting over it. Here's to not crashing again a month later when his FB status mentions his new girlfriend, or when you walk by a place you used to go together. It's easier once you've gotten past it, but all that still hurts later, sadly. Meanwhile, keep writing amazing things like this, ok?
Yeah. There will definitely be little things like that down the road that bring me unexpected jolts of pain long after I should be over it. It was just one of those experiences that's so amazing you just always miss it, you know? Most of my other amazing experiences have to do with things like climbing mountains or going running, things I know I can do again. But this is something I can never go back to. (See? There was an unexpected jolt right there!) And even if I could, it might never be as good as I remember, the way some runs are glorious, and then the next time you run the same route it feels like a death march instead. You just keep going back cuz you hope to repeat that good-feeling run again, and sometimes you do and sometimes you don't. I remain open but not hopeful.
What makes this particular post amazing? Cuz I've posted numerous things that I think are better, and they are met with indifference. This is just more of the same introspective stuff I always do.
I really like how you write, and how everything flows. I'm so bad at getting things in my head out in writing, and even worse at giving my "writing" justice to what actually goes on upstairs....let alone making it make sense.
What you said about ideal relationships being simply business transactions - so true. when it comes down to it, in the simplest form, all relationships are simply business transactions. Exchanging camaraderie, comfort, company, etc, relationships/friendships last and work out because each person is gaining something.
...and now he's seen me out of my mind to the point that I'm sure disgust and apprehension will keep him from ever remembering why he liked me in the first place..I know exactly what you mean, and being as nerdy as I am, I love quotes, and this is one of my favorite
( ... )
LOVE that quote! Not useless blabber. Perfect for how I'm feeling today, on Singles-Awareness Day following the heartbreak this entry is about.
And trust me, I struggle plenty with getting my writing to do justice to what I'm actually thinking. I spent probably four hours writing and editting this because I'm such a perfectionist. And because I feel like things that mean this much to a person deserve to be "just right." Most of what I write down is meaningful to me, come to think of it; otherwise it wouldn't be worth the trouble.
I think it's better than a lot of the other things you write on here because you're constructive with yourself in a more insightful and much more grounded way than I've seen you in the past. Although I disagree with some of the things you said, I understand why you said them and I think you sound like you're fine, which I've felt hasn't been the case with all your posts. That's why I said it was good. As always, I am here for you and I hope that means I'm not so disposable. for you anyway~
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Congrats on getting over it. Here's to not crashing again a month later when his FB status mentions his new girlfriend, or when you walk by a place you used to go together. It's easier once you've gotten past it, but all that still hurts later, sadly. Meanwhile, keep writing amazing things like this, ok?
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What makes this particular post amazing? Cuz I've posted numerous things that I think are better, and they are met with indifference. This is just more of the same introspective stuff I always do.
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What you said about ideal relationships being simply business transactions - so true. when it comes down to it, in the simplest form, all relationships are simply business transactions. Exchanging camaraderie, comfort, company, etc, relationships/friendships last and work out because each person is gaining something.
...and now he's seen me out of my mind to the point that I'm sure disgust and apprehension will keep him from ever remembering why he liked me in the first place..I know exactly what you mean, and being as nerdy as I am, I love quotes, and this is one of my favorite ( ... )
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And trust me, I struggle plenty with getting my writing to do justice to what I'm actually thinking. I spent probably four hours writing and editting this because I'm such a perfectionist. And because I feel like things that mean this much to a person deserve to be "just right." Most of what I write down is meaningful to me, come to think of it; otherwise it wouldn't be worth the trouble.
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