day 3 ; stone cold [fic]
title: stone cold
pairing: kaisoo
rating: pg
length: 1,036w
summary: Kyungsoo has something to say. Based on this short video.
Kyungsoo’s hand comes up to open the door of the restaurant. He hesitates. Thinking better of it, he takes a deep breath and pulls it open. The waitress smiles politely and directs him to a table in an adequate location; not too loud, not too quiet.
His heart catches in his throat at the far sight of a familiar face. He pensively approaches the table and in a light, Jongin stands up and embraces him, lightly pecking his lips in greeting.
Kyungsoo hates how bitter it tastes.
Sitting down, he feels a tinge of annoyance at the unnecessarily distance between them. But, he supposes it’s better this way. It’ll make what he’s about to say a little easier.
The waitress brings them menus and Kyungsoo lightly skims over it, barely reading the words on the page. Clearing the nervousness out of his voice, he speaks up, “How was your day?”
Immediately, Jongin’s entire demeanor changes. He goes on a tirade about his work, complaining about some upcoming evaluation and how Baekhyun keeps making him do favors.
He never once asks about Kyungsoo’s day.
It’s nothing new. However, the air is thick with tension.
“Do you want to order a drink?” Kyungsoo says, mainly because he really needs a drink. Jongin consents, and they each order a glass of wine.
Whenever Kyungsoo thinks of Jongin, he tries to remember those happy memories from their earlier days of dating. But lately, all he can think about is how every time they’re together, Jongin seems too busy doing things that aren’t spending time with him. How he always makes excuses to not come see him. How even though they’re sitting right in front of each other, he wonders if Jongin is really there.
Today is different though. He knows Jongin can sense the awkwardness around him, that Kyungsoo had an ulterior motive for inviting him out today. He puts away his phone for once and looks Kyungsoo in the eye and asks levelly, “What’s wrong?”
Suddenly, Kyungsoo doesn’t know how to continue. He finds himself getting lost in Jongin’s dark, kind eyes, thinking where did we go wrong?
Jongin makes a motion to grab his attention again, so Kyungsoo resolutely looks down at his drink. Taking a deep breath, he speaks hardly an octave above a whisper, Jongin could probably barely hear him.
“I think we should break up.”
Jongin falls silent. In all the days, months, years, Kyungsoo has known him, he thinks Jongin has never looked more beautiful. It’s so unfair. All the memories come rushing back to him like a tidal wave and his tongue feels like lead in his mouth.
The other man searches Kyungsoo’s face, opening his mouth in shock, but closing it again when he realizes he can’t say anything. Kyungsoo feels anger boil inside of himself instead. How can Jongin sit there, looking more perfect than the day he met him, making this moment so hard, as if it didn’t take all of his courage to call him out tonight and starve himself the entire week just so he could eat with him today?
“Aren’t you going to say something?” Kyungsoo blurts out.
Jongin finally breaks eye contact, and looks down at his folded hands. “I don’t know what to say.”
And that’s it, Kyungsoo thinks, heart shattering as he breaks out a “I’m sorry. I-I shouldn’t have dropped this on you.”
Jongin waves him off, “No, I understand.”
“You don’t know...how hard this is. I felt like such an idiot waiting for you to return my calls or answer my texts with more than just one word. I haven’t had a proper meal in days. I just got tired of waiting.”
That’s when Jongin places a tender hand over Kyungsoo’s and says, “I’m sorry. I haven’t...you know, been there. I just. I don’t know.”
Kyungsoo is torn between a mix of anger and sadness. How can he feel such a flurry of emotion while the other sits there so calmly.
Jongin seems to understand Kyungsoo’s emotions, because he squeezes his hand, briefly, before speaking again.
“I guess I just, took you for granted. Despite everything, the silence, the distance, despite all of it, I could still come back to you. And that was so very wrong. You don't deserve that.”
Kyungsoo's eyes well with tears. He refuses to let them spill over just yet, so he bites his tongue and sits back in his seat, gulping down the rest of his wine. After a few moments, he looks at Jongin.
“I guess I realized that I should stop holding on to false hope. Hope that you'd realize your mistakes and come back for real. But that was my own mistake. Because you were never there to begin with.”
Jongin bites his lip. He has guilt written all over his face. Another long stretch of silence. And Jongin says, “I'm sorry.”
They stay like that a little while more. Kyungsoo tries to ignore the awkwardness by making small talk, though neither of their hearts are in it. They ask for the check all too soon and Kyungsoo pays for it this time. They get up and stand before each other, probably for the last time.
Jongin moves first to grab Kyungsoo in a lingering embrace, one that has the underlying tone of goodbye in it. Kyungsoo weakly clutches at the other’s sleeve, as a last ditch effort to hold on. But he reluctantly lets go.
One final, brave smile and Kyungsoo turns to walk out first into the bitter cold night. Tears threaten to turn to frostbite. He knows Jongin is still in the same spot, but soon he will leave and move on from the event today.
But Kyungsoo will come back to this same restaurant, the same table, with the same waitress and replay that goddamn conversation in his head over and over again. Did he make the right decision? Would they have been able to change the outcome of reality if things went differently?
He contemplates these thoughts over the next weeks. Until one day, he finally stands from the table and pushes the chair back in for the last time.
Kyungsoo doesn’t look back.
pairing: kaisoo
rating: pg
length: 1,036w
summary: Kyungsoo has something to say. Based on this short video.
Kyungsoo’s hand comes up to open the door of the restaurant. He hesitates. Thinking better of it, he takes a deep breath and pulls it open. The waitress smiles politely and directs him to a table in an adequate location; not too loud, not too quiet.
His heart catches in his throat at the far sight of a familiar face. He pensively approaches the table and in a light, Jongin stands up and embraces him, lightly pecking his lips in greeting.
Kyungsoo hates how bitter it tastes.
Sitting down, he feels a tinge of annoyance at the unnecessarily distance between them. But, he supposes it’s better this way. It’ll make what he’s about to say a little easier.
The waitress brings them menus and Kyungsoo lightly skims over it, barely reading the words on the page. Clearing the nervousness out of his voice, he speaks up, “How was your day?”
Immediately, Jongin’s entire demeanor changes. He goes on a tirade about his work, complaining about some upcoming evaluation and how Baekhyun keeps making him do favors.
He never once asks about Kyungsoo’s day.
It’s nothing new. However, the air is thick with tension.
“Do you want to order a drink?” Kyungsoo says, mainly because he really needs a drink. Jongin consents, and they each order a glass of wine.
Whenever Kyungsoo thinks of Jongin, he tries to remember those happy memories from their earlier days of dating. But lately, all he can think about is how every time they’re together, Jongin seems too busy doing things that aren’t spending time with him. How he always makes excuses to not come see him. How even though they’re sitting right in front of each other, he wonders if Jongin is really there.
Today is different though. He knows Jongin can sense the awkwardness around him, that Kyungsoo had an ulterior motive for inviting him out today. He puts away his phone for once and looks Kyungsoo in the eye and asks levelly, “What’s wrong?”
Suddenly, Kyungsoo doesn’t know how to continue. He finds himself getting lost in Jongin’s dark, kind eyes, thinking where did we go wrong?
Jongin makes a motion to grab his attention again, so Kyungsoo resolutely looks down at his drink. Taking a deep breath, he speaks hardly an octave above a whisper, Jongin could probably barely hear him.
“I think we should break up.”
Jongin falls silent. In all the days, months, years, Kyungsoo has known him, he thinks Jongin has never looked more beautiful. It’s so unfair. All the memories come rushing back to him like a tidal wave and his tongue feels like lead in his mouth.
The other man searches Kyungsoo’s face, opening his mouth in shock, but closing it again when he realizes he can’t say anything. Kyungsoo feels anger boil inside of himself instead. How can Jongin sit there, looking more perfect than the day he met him, making this moment so hard, as if it didn’t take all of his courage to call him out tonight and starve himself the entire week just so he could eat with him today?
“Aren’t you going to say something?” Kyungsoo blurts out.
Jongin finally breaks eye contact, and looks down at his folded hands. “I don’t know what to say.”
And that’s it, Kyungsoo thinks, heart shattering as he breaks out a “I’m sorry. I-I shouldn’t have dropped this on you.”
Jongin waves him off, “No, I understand.”
“You don’t know...how hard this is. I felt like such an idiot waiting for you to return my calls or answer my texts with more than just one word. I haven’t had a proper meal in days. I just got tired of waiting.”
That’s when Jongin places a tender hand over Kyungsoo’s and says, “I’m sorry. I haven’t...you know, been there. I just. I don’t know.”
Kyungsoo is torn between a mix of anger and sadness. How can he feel such a flurry of emotion while the other sits there so calmly.
Jongin seems to understand Kyungsoo’s emotions, because he squeezes his hand, briefly, before speaking again.
“I guess I just, took you for granted. Despite everything, the silence, the distance, despite all of it, I could still come back to you. And that was so very wrong. You don't deserve that.”
Kyungsoo's eyes well with tears. He refuses to let them spill over just yet, so he bites his tongue and sits back in his seat, gulping down the rest of his wine. After a few moments, he looks at Jongin.
“I guess I realized that I should stop holding on to false hope. Hope that you'd realize your mistakes and come back for real. But that was my own mistake. Because you were never there to begin with.”
Jongin bites his lip. He has guilt written all over his face. Another long stretch of silence. And Jongin says, “I'm sorry.”
They stay like that a little while more. Kyungsoo tries to ignore the awkwardness by making small talk, though neither of their hearts are in it. They ask for the check all too soon and Kyungsoo pays for it this time. They get up and stand before each other, probably for the last time.
Jongin moves first to grab Kyungsoo in a lingering embrace, one that has the underlying tone of goodbye in it. Kyungsoo weakly clutches at the other’s sleeve, as a last ditch effort to hold on. But he reluctantly lets go.
One final, brave smile and Kyungsoo turns to walk out first into the bitter cold night. Tears threaten to turn to frostbite. He knows Jongin is still in the same spot, but soon he will leave and move on from the event today.
But Kyungsoo will come back to this same restaurant, the same table, with the same waitress and replay that goddamn conversation in his head over and over again. Did he make the right decision? Would they have been able to change the outcome of reality if things went differently?
He contemplates these thoughts over the next weeks. Until one day, he finally stands from the table and pushes the chair back in for the last time.
Kyungsoo doesn’t look back.