my brother got loaded and karate kicked his coffee table in half. coolest guy around? i believe so ( Read more... )

everyone, and i mean EVERYONE needs to go see jackass 2. its so friggin good. also, me and matt splitting a 26 of jager during it made it all the better. its seriously so much more insane then the first one, everyone was freaking out at a few parts. also there was horse semen involved in one segment and i almost threw up. yessssss ( Read more... )

why is it that whenever you see someone you hate or someone you know who hates you, that you are either wearing a horrible outfit or in a weird compromising position ( Read more... )

so im working at la senza, and i must say it is a rousing success thus far, basically i fold panties and hang up bras? yea i dunno, its pretty alright ( Read more... )

wowza. crankworxs was effin awesome i had so so much fun. yea for sure i drank gin and juice out of a water bottle for the majority of it. yesssss. also, never try to drink gin while wearing a full face helmet, you may look cool but it goes all over the damn place ( Read more... )

Me- "my friggin playstation is broken, it wont play certain games or movies"
My Mom- "its probably because some drunk shoved a sandwich in it or something"

oh mom, you know me and my friends so well.

dear 14 year old girls ( Read more... )

so last night was one of those super fun random nights that only happen once in awhile, so good ( Read more... )

soooo i just saw pirates of the caribbean....yea ( Read more... )

holy moly, i just found en eyepatch at a store and went mental...then like 2 aisles over i found...

MUSTACHE WAX!!!! ALSO IT CAME WITH A LITTLE COMB

im pretty sure i should go buy it and then just carry it around with me and pull it out at parties

"oh this? its just my AWESOME MUSTACHE WAX!! JEALOUS???"

and they totally will be.