Log: The internet is cursed
Who: Paulie and Iceburg
When: Night of Tuesday, May 19th
Where: Paulie's shitty, tiny, apartment
What: Paulie talking to Iceburg and getting over his angst, sorta.
Paulie really hated himself sometimes. In the most pathetic, self-pitying ways possible. He knew it really was disgusting for him to lower himself to that level, but occasionally he would slump to this sort of low. Brought on by whatever troubles he's gotten himself into with no one to blame but himself.
Some small part of him told him that there was no way he could have stopped himself from telling Lucci what he did about Iceburg, that it was happening to everyone on that damned community - but it didn't stop the guilt. Even if Iceburg hadn't actually told him not to tell anyone about those times when he cried over those guys, Paulie still felt that he betrayed Iceburg's trust by posting it so openly on the internet. To the very man who had betrayed them.
He was sitting in a chair across the room from his unpluged computer that he may have knocked around earlier. All day he hadn't been able to do anything but tell the truth to everyone he saw, but thankfully whatever the hell was wrong with him didn't stop him from running the fuck away from someone when he started to say something unessary. No one else in Water 7 looked like they had been effected by it, or atleast from what he could tell.
As busy as he was wallowing in self-pity at the moment, he still couldn't stop thinking about the things Lucci had been saying. It was so easy to just believe that Lucci was setting him up for another job and pretending to be under the influence of that stupid curse. Paulie had gone through to see some of the other things Lucci was saying in the community, telling himself it was probably just an act. He didn't want to believe that there was even some small part of Lucci that cared about him, Iceburg, Lulu, Tilestone, Galley La, or any thing else in Water 7 and threw it all away because it was part of his job. He'd rather believe Lucci was a bastard who didn't care about anything in the world except maybe his pigeon and was just a damn good actor.
Iceburg had been watching Paulie all day. When he wasn't running away from people, yelling at them not to listen to what he was saying, Paulie had been sulking around the shipyard all day. It wasn't abnormal for Paulie to have strange behaviour every so often, but this really didn't make sense to him. He kept telling himself that he would go see what was on Paulie's mind as soon as he finished the paperwork he was on, but either another stack of important papers would be put infront of him, or he'd have another conversation to have with the Fruit Experts he had brought in to deal with the strange fruit problem he discovered through LiveJournal. Before he knew it the day had passed and Paulie had already gone home for the day.
It was some time after Paulie had already left before Iceburg was finished with his own work for the day. He had made up his mind to track Paulie down and see what it was that was bothering his Vice President.
When he arrived at Paulie's apartment, Paulie had already been sitting in misery and woe for quite some time, a few bottles of beer already empty - but thankfully not enough to even make him the least bit tipsy.
"Iceburg-san, what're you doing here?" Paulie asked, almost fearing that Iceburg had already seen what he had said online.
"I just came by to see how you were." Iceburg said pleasantly, smiling and moving farther into Paulie's small apartment. He paused a moment, staring at an unsually large, empty spot in the room.
"Didn't there used to be a couch there?" Iceburg asked in curiously, tilting his head slightly.
"Yeah, I was behind in some payments to the guys not too long before my debts got taken over by Reborn, so they respossesed some stuff." Paulie found himself saying unnessesarily before he could stop himself.
Wincing at blabbing out something like that to Iceburg, Paulie turned away some, rubbing at the back of his neck, grumbling to himself, "Definately didn't mean to say that."
Iceburg stared Paulie for a moment before deciding to not make comment. Instead he smiled a little and put his hands in his pockets, "How's everything?"
Paulie had every intention of telling Iceburg that everything was perfectly fine, that he couldn't be better, but like the rest of the week he found himself saying nothing but the truth, "I'm doing pretty shitty."
Iceburg's smile faded away to be replaced with a concerned look. He walked over to the tiny area that looked like it was supposed to be the dining room and sat at the table. Paulie followed after him and sat in the only other chair across from Iceburg, looking like he really hadn't meant to say what he did.
"What's wrong?" Iceburg asked gently, leaning forward on the table. Normally Paulie kept most of his troubles to himself, so it worried him that him would be admitting so easily something was wrong.
"The internet. It's cursed." Paulie grumbled, slumping low in his seat, "Remember how I told you lots of weird shit happens in that community? Well, something weird happened again."
"Go on."
"I keep sayin stuff that I really don't want to. And I can't lie - not that telling the truth is a BAD thing, Iceburg-san, but for me it is. Wait - no, I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I meant - oh hell, nevermind. But it's been happening to a bunch of other people on that online community. I didn't even realize it until.. well, until it was kinda too late."
Iceburg watched Paulie stumble over his words, which wasn't anything unusual for Paulie, and thought for a moment about what Paulie said. "Are you sure about that, Paulie? Maybe it just seems like you can't lie."
"No, trust me, I really wanna. I can't keep my mouth shut. I can't even not type things I really don't want to tell people. Things I'd never tell anyone.. especially those assholes." Paulie wasn't looking at Iceburg by now, instead fidgeting with something on the table.
'So that's what this is about. Lucci and Kaku. Again.' Iceburg thought with a quiet sigh. No matter how much time passes, those two never seem to really be gone in Paulie's world.
"Maybe you're tired of not saying whatever it is you've been saying." Iceburg quietly offered, leaning back in the seat now, his gaze steady on Paulie.
"It's not like that, Iceburg-san. This thing, it's even happening to Strawhat's crew. No one can even say a stupid lie, like something's a different color than it really is. I tried, it doesn't work."
Iceburg's brows furrowed, thinking for a long moment. On one hand, Paulie could be exaderating and only think he's forced to tell the truth; but on the other hand, stranger things have happened on that community. Maybe it really is cursed somehow?
"What happened?"
"I'm sorry Iceburg-san," Paulie said quietly, unable to bring himself to look Iceburg in the eye, "I couldn't stop myself from typing it. I couldn't delete it. I - I didn't - I would never - God, I'm so -"
"Paulie, what happened?" Iceburg said a little more sternly. He hated seeing Paulie like this.
"I told Lucci that you cried after they betrayed us." Paulie closed his eyes, looking very much like the words left a horrible taste in his mouth, "Iceburg, I would have never said anything like that. It just happened. I didn't mean to, God Iceburg, I'm so sorry."
"Paulie."
"I know, I'm so sorry Iceburg-san. I don't care what else I said, but that's the one thing those bastards don't deserve to know. I had no right telling them that-"
"Paulie, is that what's been bothering you so much?"
Paulie looked up at Iceburg for the first time since he started babbling, and was suprised not to find an angry, dissapointed, or hurt expression looking back at him. Iceburg may have looked a little tired, but that was about it.
"I never told you to keep that to yourself." Iceburg said plainly.
"I.. I know, but-"
"But nothing, Paulie. I never told you not to tell anyone because I don't care. It doesn't affect me if those two, or anyone else, knows that about me."
"But Lucci shouldn't know something like that!"
"What does it matter if he does? His opinion means nothing to me, Paulie, no more than the opinion of a caulking iron."
"What?"
As a gambling man, Paulie trusted his life to the ability to see through a bluff, even though he didn't realize how bad at it he really was. Sitting there watching Iceburg, Paulie couldn't see the slightest bit of bluff on his face. And for once he was right.
"Iceburg-san.. How can you not be angry? How aren't you furious that those guys know that? Don't you hate them?"
Iceburg frowned lightly at Paulie, "Hate? It's very tiring to hate someone, especially for a long time. I couldn't hate them any more than any other tool on the shelf. Because that's what they are, they're not our nakama. The men who we thought they were never existed. When I looked back on those five years, I don't see our close nakama that betrayed us - I see nothing more than a common tool. As far as I'm concerned, they don't exist."
Paulie sat there, staring in disbelief as Iceburg spoke so calm and cooly. He always looked up to Iceburg for his ability to see through a situation with a level head, and make sound decisions - something Paulie tended to have a problem with. To be able to so easily dismiss the very thought of those people was something Paulie never really thought possible.
"I can't think of them like that." He found himself saying before he could stop, which made him wince and sink lower in his seat. Again he found himself unable to look Iceburg in the eyes.
"Then don't. I'm not telling you how you should think of them, only what I feel about it. If you still think of them as nakama, then I'm not going to tell you that you're a fool. If you hate them, I'm not going to tell you it's useless. I'll listen to your problems if you want, Paulie, because you're my friend. But I'll never tell you what you should do - that's your decision."
Paulie stared at the worn table infront of him, running his thumb over it's coarse grains as he thought about everything Iceburg said.
Iceburg hated seeing Paulie like this. Hated the fact that Lucci and Kaku were still in his life, that Paulie let them bring him to this state of self-pity. Paulie had been through a lot, but he was a man who could handle things how they were. Iceburg knew that Paulie didn't need him to hold him up, to make his decisions for him, slap sense into him, or tell him to suck it up and be a man. Paulie's only problem was that every once in a while he needed to be reminded of those facts.
"You always know what to say, don't you Iceburg-san?" Paulie quietly asked with a laugh before he looked up with a weak grin, "You've always been like that. That's why I lo-" Before he could finish what he was saying, Paulie flew out of the room, with his fist shoved partially in his mouth and whatever he was saying muffled and garbled.
Iceburg sat there a little stunned at Paulie's sudden burst of action, not entirely sure what it was Paulie was going to say. He could hear Paulie screaming something in the bathroom about a damned curse and about how 'that was close, I nearly blurting out that-' before the garbled, muffled yelling continued.
As things were, Iceburg thought it best to voice his concerns about that community when Paulie was more himself.
"I better head home, Paulie." Iceburg called out as he took a few steps towards the bathroom, trying his best to hide the amused look on his face, "You're alright, right?"
"I'M FINE, ICEBURG-SAN, YOU REALLYREALLY PROBABLY SHOULD GO BEFORE I SAY SOMETHING LIKE-" There was a distinct sound of things crashing in the bathroom, the garbled yelling sounded a little more pathetic this time around, as though he was really trying his best not to say anything.
Iceburg shrugged and headed out the door, "I'll see you at work tomorrow."
When: Night of Tuesday, May 19th
Where: Paulie's shitty, tiny, apartment
What: Paulie talking to Iceburg and getting over his angst, sorta.
Paulie really hated himself sometimes. In the most pathetic, self-pitying ways possible. He knew it really was disgusting for him to lower himself to that level, but occasionally he would slump to this sort of low. Brought on by whatever troubles he's gotten himself into with no one to blame but himself.
Some small part of him told him that there was no way he could have stopped himself from telling Lucci what he did about Iceburg, that it was happening to everyone on that damned community - but it didn't stop the guilt. Even if Iceburg hadn't actually told him not to tell anyone about those times when he cried over those guys, Paulie still felt that he betrayed Iceburg's trust by posting it so openly on the internet. To the very man who had betrayed them.
He was sitting in a chair across the room from his unpluged computer that he may have knocked around earlier. All day he hadn't been able to do anything but tell the truth to everyone he saw, but thankfully whatever the hell was wrong with him didn't stop him from running the fuck away from someone when he started to say something unessary. No one else in Water 7 looked like they had been effected by it, or atleast from what he could tell.
As busy as he was wallowing in self-pity at the moment, he still couldn't stop thinking about the things Lucci had been saying. It was so easy to just believe that Lucci was setting him up for another job and pretending to be under the influence of that stupid curse. Paulie had gone through to see some of the other things Lucci was saying in the community, telling himself it was probably just an act. He didn't want to believe that there was even some small part of Lucci that cared about him, Iceburg, Lulu, Tilestone, Galley La, or any thing else in Water 7 and threw it all away because it was part of his job. He'd rather believe Lucci was a bastard who didn't care about anything in the world except maybe his pigeon and was just a damn good actor.
Iceburg had been watching Paulie all day. When he wasn't running away from people, yelling at them not to listen to what he was saying, Paulie had been sulking around the shipyard all day. It wasn't abnormal for Paulie to have strange behaviour every so often, but this really didn't make sense to him. He kept telling himself that he would go see what was on Paulie's mind as soon as he finished the paperwork he was on, but either another stack of important papers would be put infront of him, or he'd have another conversation to have with the Fruit Experts he had brought in to deal with the strange fruit problem he discovered through LiveJournal. Before he knew it the day had passed and Paulie had already gone home for the day.
It was some time after Paulie had already left before Iceburg was finished with his own work for the day. He had made up his mind to track Paulie down and see what it was that was bothering his Vice President.
When he arrived at Paulie's apartment, Paulie had already been sitting in misery and woe for quite some time, a few bottles of beer already empty - but thankfully not enough to even make him the least bit tipsy.
"Iceburg-san, what're you doing here?" Paulie asked, almost fearing that Iceburg had already seen what he had said online.
"I just came by to see how you were." Iceburg said pleasantly, smiling and moving farther into Paulie's small apartment. He paused a moment, staring at an unsually large, empty spot in the room.
"Didn't there used to be a couch there?" Iceburg asked in curiously, tilting his head slightly.
"Yeah, I was behind in some payments to the guys not too long before my debts got taken over by Reborn, so they respossesed some stuff." Paulie found himself saying unnessesarily before he could stop himself.
Wincing at blabbing out something like that to Iceburg, Paulie turned away some, rubbing at the back of his neck, grumbling to himself, "Definately didn't mean to say that."
Iceburg stared Paulie for a moment before deciding to not make comment. Instead he smiled a little and put his hands in his pockets, "How's everything?"
Paulie had every intention of telling Iceburg that everything was perfectly fine, that he couldn't be better, but like the rest of the week he found himself saying nothing but the truth, "I'm doing pretty shitty."
Iceburg's smile faded away to be replaced with a concerned look. He walked over to the tiny area that looked like it was supposed to be the dining room and sat at the table. Paulie followed after him and sat in the only other chair across from Iceburg, looking like he really hadn't meant to say what he did.
"What's wrong?" Iceburg asked gently, leaning forward on the table. Normally Paulie kept most of his troubles to himself, so it worried him that him would be admitting so easily something was wrong.
"The internet. It's cursed." Paulie grumbled, slumping low in his seat, "Remember how I told you lots of weird shit happens in that community? Well, something weird happened again."
"Go on."
"I keep sayin stuff that I really don't want to. And I can't lie - not that telling the truth is a BAD thing, Iceburg-san, but for me it is. Wait - no, I didn't mean for it to come out like that. I meant - oh hell, nevermind. But it's been happening to a bunch of other people on that online community. I didn't even realize it until.. well, until it was kinda too late."
Iceburg watched Paulie stumble over his words, which wasn't anything unusual for Paulie, and thought for a moment about what Paulie said. "Are you sure about that, Paulie? Maybe it just seems like you can't lie."
"No, trust me, I really wanna. I can't keep my mouth shut. I can't even not type things I really don't want to tell people. Things I'd never tell anyone.. especially those assholes." Paulie wasn't looking at Iceburg by now, instead fidgeting with something on the table.
'So that's what this is about. Lucci and Kaku. Again.' Iceburg thought with a quiet sigh. No matter how much time passes, those two never seem to really be gone in Paulie's world.
"Maybe you're tired of not saying whatever it is you've been saying." Iceburg quietly offered, leaning back in the seat now, his gaze steady on Paulie.
"It's not like that, Iceburg-san. This thing, it's even happening to Strawhat's crew. No one can even say a stupid lie, like something's a different color than it really is. I tried, it doesn't work."
Iceburg's brows furrowed, thinking for a long moment. On one hand, Paulie could be exaderating and only think he's forced to tell the truth; but on the other hand, stranger things have happened on that community. Maybe it really is cursed somehow?
"What happened?"
"I'm sorry Iceburg-san," Paulie said quietly, unable to bring himself to look Iceburg in the eye, "I couldn't stop myself from typing it. I couldn't delete it. I - I didn't - I would never - God, I'm so -"
"Paulie, what happened?" Iceburg said a little more sternly. He hated seeing Paulie like this.
"I told Lucci that you cried after they betrayed us." Paulie closed his eyes, looking very much like the words left a horrible taste in his mouth, "Iceburg, I would have never said anything like that. It just happened. I didn't mean to, God Iceburg, I'm so sorry."
"Paulie."
"I know, I'm so sorry Iceburg-san. I don't care what else I said, but that's the one thing those bastards don't deserve to know. I had no right telling them that-"
"Paulie, is that what's been bothering you so much?"
Paulie looked up at Iceburg for the first time since he started babbling, and was suprised not to find an angry, dissapointed, or hurt expression looking back at him. Iceburg may have looked a little tired, but that was about it.
"I never told you to keep that to yourself." Iceburg said plainly.
"I.. I know, but-"
"But nothing, Paulie. I never told you not to tell anyone because I don't care. It doesn't affect me if those two, or anyone else, knows that about me."
"But Lucci shouldn't know something like that!"
"What does it matter if he does? His opinion means nothing to me, Paulie, no more than the opinion of a caulking iron."
"What?"
As a gambling man, Paulie trusted his life to the ability to see through a bluff, even though he didn't realize how bad at it he really was. Sitting there watching Iceburg, Paulie couldn't see the slightest bit of bluff on his face. And for once he was right.
"Iceburg-san.. How can you not be angry? How aren't you furious that those guys know that? Don't you hate them?"
Iceburg frowned lightly at Paulie, "Hate? It's very tiring to hate someone, especially for a long time. I couldn't hate them any more than any other tool on the shelf. Because that's what they are, they're not our nakama. The men who we thought they were never existed. When I looked back on those five years, I don't see our close nakama that betrayed us - I see nothing more than a common tool. As far as I'm concerned, they don't exist."
Paulie sat there, staring in disbelief as Iceburg spoke so calm and cooly. He always looked up to Iceburg for his ability to see through a situation with a level head, and make sound decisions - something Paulie tended to have a problem with. To be able to so easily dismiss the very thought of those people was something Paulie never really thought possible.
"I can't think of them like that." He found himself saying before he could stop, which made him wince and sink lower in his seat. Again he found himself unable to look Iceburg in the eyes.
"Then don't. I'm not telling you how you should think of them, only what I feel about it. If you still think of them as nakama, then I'm not going to tell you that you're a fool. If you hate them, I'm not going to tell you it's useless. I'll listen to your problems if you want, Paulie, because you're my friend. But I'll never tell you what you should do - that's your decision."
Paulie stared at the worn table infront of him, running his thumb over it's coarse grains as he thought about everything Iceburg said.
Iceburg hated seeing Paulie like this. Hated the fact that Lucci and Kaku were still in his life, that Paulie let them bring him to this state of self-pity. Paulie had been through a lot, but he was a man who could handle things how they were. Iceburg knew that Paulie didn't need him to hold him up, to make his decisions for him, slap sense into him, or tell him to suck it up and be a man. Paulie's only problem was that every once in a while he needed to be reminded of those facts.
"You always know what to say, don't you Iceburg-san?" Paulie quietly asked with a laugh before he looked up with a weak grin, "You've always been like that. That's why I lo-" Before he could finish what he was saying, Paulie flew out of the room, with his fist shoved partially in his mouth and whatever he was saying muffled and garbled.
Iceburg sat there a little stunned at Paulie's sudden burst of action, not entirely sure what it was Paulie was going to say. He could hear Paulie screaming something in the bathroom about a damned curse and about how 'that was close, I nearly blurting out that-' before the garbled, muffled yelling continued.
As things were, Iceburg thought it best to voice his concerns about that community when Paulie was more himself.
"I better head home, Paulie." Iceburg called out as he took a few steps towards the bathroom, trying his best to hide the amused look on his face, "You're alright, right?"
"I'M FINE, ICEBURG-SAN, YOU REALLYREALLY PROBABLY SHOULD GO BEFORE I SAY SOMETHING LIKE-" There was a distinct sound of things crashing in the bathroom, the garbled yelling sounded a little more pathetic this time around, as though he was really trying his best not to say anything.
Iceburg shrugged and headed out the door, "I'll see you at work tomorrow."