WTF?! Feces room?!
Okay, don't read these if you haven't seen Anchorman. I give you:
Brian Fantana: Don't get me wrong, I love the ladies, but they don't belong in the newsroom!
Champ Kind: It is anchorMAN, not anchorLADY!
Brick Tamland: I don't know what we're yelling about!
Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast!
Champ Kind: It jumped up a notch!
Ron Burgundy: It did, didn't it?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart!
Ron Burgundy: I saw that! Brick killed a guy! Did you throw a trident?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident!
Ron Burgundy: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.
Brick Tamland: I ate a big, red candle.
Brick Tamland: Cough. Look over here. Excuse me, Veronica?
Veronica Corningstone: Yes? What is it, Brick?
Brick Tamland: I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.
Veronica Corningstone: Excuse me?
Brick Tamland: [struggling] The... party. With the... with the pants. Party with pants?
Veronica Corningstone: Brick, are you saying that there's a party in your pants and that I'm invited?
Brick Tamland: That's it.
Veronica Corningstone: Did Brian tell you to say this, Brick?
Brick Tamland: No! Yes. He did.
Veronica Corningstone: Okay. No. I don't want to go to a party in your pants.
Brick Tamland: Very well. Ian, would you like to go to a party in my pants?
Ian: No, Brick.
Brick Tamland: All right. Lets go.
[runs off, there is a sound of crashing off screen]
Brick Tamland: It's all right! I'm all right!
Brick Tamland: Where'd you get those suits from, the... toilet store?
Brick Tamland: I pooped a hammer.
Brick Tamland: I drank a lava lamp. It wasn't lava.
Brick Tamland: [riding a bear] Look, I'm riding a big furry tractor
Brian Fantana: I think I was in love once.
Ron Burgundy: Really? What was her name?
Brian Fantana: I don't remember.
Ron Burgundy: That's not a good start, but keep going...
Brian Fantana: She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.
Ron Burgundy: I'm pretty sure that's not love.
Brian Fantana: Damn it!
Brick Tamland: I love... carpet.
[pause]
Brick Tamland: I love... desk.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp.
Ron Burgundy: Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp! I love lamp.
Brick Tamland: [opposing women in the newsroom] I heard somewhere their periods attract bears. They can smell the menstruation.
Brian Fantana: See, Ed? Now you're putting the whole building in danger.
Brick Tamland: I ate fiberglass insulation. It wasn't cotton candy like the guy said... my tummy itches.
Brick Tamland: [when Veronica is replacing Ron after he fails to turn up] You're not Ron...
Brick Tamland: [after a rival news team insults Ron and co] Heinie...
[laughs]
Brick Tamland: he said heinie!
Champ Kind: Get back over here, Brick!
Yes any way. Had a improv filled Friday and Saturday. I think I definetly have reached my improv quota... I so don't want Nima off the team, he brings so much when he comes and he's just really great. Love the teams from other schools. I think improv people can be the most fun people to hang out with. But I gotta wonder when I'm talking one-on-one with any given person if they're really talking to me or performing for me. Hmm. Head Scratch. Whatever. They're still fun.
I think I have to take it easy for a little while... er, not that I haven't been taking it easy already. What is it any way?! Ack! My monologue! I don't know it!
I need a skirt!
CARLOS IS IN TOWN!! WooWoo! (that was a train noise) Thomas the Tank Engine was broken...
Brian Fantana: Don't get me wrong, I love the ladies, but they don't belong in the newsroom!
Champ Kind: It is anchorMAN, not anchorLADY!
Brick Tamland: I don't know what we're yelling about!
Ron Burgundy: Boy, that escalated quickly... I mean, that really got out of hand fast!
Champ Kind: It jumped up a notch!
Ron Burgundy: It did, didn't it?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, I stabbed a man in the heart!
Ron Burgundy: I saw that! Brick killed a guy! Did you throw a trident?
Brick Tamland: Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident!
Ron Burgundy: Brick, I've been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you're probably wanted for murder.
Brick Tamland: I ate a big, red candle.
Brick Tamland: Cough. Look over here. Excuse me, Veronica?
Veronica Corningstone: Yes? What is it, Brick?
Brick Tamland: I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.
Veronica Corningstone: Excuse me?
Brick Tamland: [struggling] The... party. With the... with the pants. Party with pants?
Veronica Corningstone: Brick, are you saying that there's a party in your pants and that I'm invited?
Brick Tamland: That's it.
Veronica Corningstone: Did Brian tell you to say this, Brick?
Brick Tamland: No! Yes. He did.
Veronica Corningstone: Okay. No. I don't want to go to a party in your pants.
Brick Tamland: Very well. Ian, would you like to go to a party in my pants?
Ian: No, Brick.
Brick Tamland: All right. Lets go.
[runs off, there is a sound of crashing off screen]
Brick Tamland: It's all right! I'm all right!
Brick Tamland: Where'd you get those suits from, the... toilet store?
Brick Tamland: I pooped a hammer.
Brick Tamland: I drank a lava lamp. It wasn't lava.
Brick Tamland: [riding a bear] Look, I'm riding a big furry tractor
Brian Fantana: I think I was in love once.
Ron Burgundy: Really? What was her name?
Brian Fantana: I don't remember.
Ron Burgundy: That's not a good start, but keep going...
Brian Fantana: She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.
Ron Burgundy: I'm pretty sure that's not love.
Brian Fantana: Damn it!
Brick Tamland: I love... carpet.
[pause]
Brick Tamland: I love... desk.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp.
Ron Burgundy: Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp! I love lamp.
Brick Tamland: [opposing women in the newsroom] I heard somewhere their periods attract bears. They can smell the menstruation.
Brian Fantana: See, Ed? Now you're putting the whole building in danger.
Brick Tamland: I ate fiberglass insulation. It wasn't cotton candy like the guy said... my tummy itches.
Brick Tamland: [when Veronica is replacing Ron after he fails to turn up] You're not Ron...
Brick Tamland: [after a rival news team insults Ron and co] Heinie...
[laughs]
Brick Tamland: he said heinie!
Champ Kind: Get back over here, Brick!
Yes any way. Had a improv filled Friday and Saturday. I think I definetly have reached my improv quota... I so don't want Nima off the team, he brings so much when he comes and he's just really great. Love the teams from other schools. I think improv people can be the most fun people to hang out with. But I gotta wonder when I'm talking one-on-one with any given person if they're really talking to me or performing for me. Hmm. Head Scratch. Whatever. They're still fun.
I think I have to take it easy for a little while... er, not that I haven't been taking it easy already. What is it any way?! Ack! My monologue! I don't know it!
I need a skirt!
CARLOS IS IN TOWN!! WooWoo! (that was a train noise) Thomas the Tank Engine was broken...