good news and bad news

[rikibeth]

The good news is, the ENT doesn't think there's any need to stick a scope down my nose or my throat. He says that if there was a tumor or anything, it wouldn't be on-and-off the way I'm describing, it'd be constant. He agrees it's anxiety.

The bad news is, he thinks exercise is the answer. This is not exactly what I wanted to hear.

1) Sure, it's

Comments

[ap_aelfwine]

I'm glad he's not proposing to stick a scope down any part of your anatomy.

I dislike exercise as well, especially jogging. I'm sorry it's looking like that. Good luck with the all of it.

Idea?

[kebbykate]

I haven't read through all the comments, so pardon me if someone suggested this already. How about Yoga at West Hartford Yoga? Dry heat there and it is exercise that's less likely to mess up your knees... Don't know how it would fit into your budget, but they do offer drop-in classes so you could at least try one to see if you can deal with the breathing.

Re: Idea?

[rikibeth]

Budget equals nil. I had to use my parents' credit card for sports bras. And I am reluctant to pay for any classes because I know I will blow them off. Did I mention I hate exercise?

Re: Idea?

[gingerkat]

Exercise? What is his reasoning? I don't think you are feeling out of breath because you are in bad shape. Maybe he has some other explanation. It can help with anxiety if that is what the underlying issue is. Whatever it is, I hope you find a solution soon!

[lunasariel]

Wow, that sounds...un-fun in the extreme. Hope you don't have to suffer through it for too long before your doctor finally decides to listen to you and actually address your anxiety in a productive way!

And, ugh, do I hear you on exercise. I was always The Fat Kid in school, as well as The Weird Kid, so PE became not my favorite thing ever, which continues to this day. I've heard excellent things about the Wii Fit - I'm, like, the least video-game-inclined person ever, and I considered getting an Wii just for that. From what I've heard, it's all the benefits of exercise without subjecting one's self to inclement weather, uneven pavement, other people seeing one when one is all red-faced and sticky, etc.

[rikibeth]

I was definitely the Weird Kid, but a skinny kid and I'm still not fat, so concerns about people seeing me, not an issue. When I tried the Couch to 5K thing in the spring, I went out in a sports bra and shorts. People in a class seeing me fuck UP, that's more of an issue.

The Wii Fit's okay, if I can get past the bit where exercising at all feels like a TOTAL WASTE OF TIME. I'm trying to figure out positive reinforcement, and as nobody's gonna hand me a twenty every time I do it, nor can I get any of my crush objects to show up and give me a smooch afterwards, it's kinda tough.

[elin_gregory]

I'm with you on the hating exercise thing. It hurts and I feel stupid because I know I look stupid and scarlet/purple and wobbly - it's embarrassing.

But there are things you can do in private. If you have a laptop you could move it to a place where you can check blogs and stuff standing up. Just shifting the weight from foot to foot gives a very gentle workout. I surf the net while I'm ironing. Two birds, one stone.

Jogging is the worst thing for fucked up knees there's no point at all in exercise if it makes other problems worse and, after a week or two, makes it impossible to exercise at all.

[rikibeth]

Ironing standing up is a bit more gentle than the doc had in mind, I think, since he was saying "clearly you have a lot of energy, you should channel it into something, and exercise is a good stress reliever." MAYBE FOR HIM.

Under ordinary circumstances my knees are fine. I could probably jog perfectly well on a nice flat track. Things lurking for me to turn my ankles on? I'll find them just as surely as a barefoot person will find the bits of broken glass they've missed with the broom.

[a_belladonna]

Asthma was ruled out? (Sorry, I haven't been much on LJ lately.) But great that it likely isn't a tumor.

Oh, yes, exercise. Not like I have the best of memories either from the gym classes. Ballgames like handball, soccer and basket ball are very popular in Denmark, so we played that a lot. I'm terrified of balls. :/
And so I disliked exercise, until I got old enough to find types of exercise that I like. (In my case: running, yoga and pilates.)

How about Zumba? It's really popular over here, haven't tried it myself but I've heard from people I know that it's really fun. Or pilates? It's really effective, but without the spiritual aspects from yoga. Personally I'm quite sad I haven't got time right now for the pilates classes at the gym where I do yoga.
Perhaps pilates during the winter and once the weather gets better, running?
Both zumba and pilates are probably available for Wii.

[rikibeth]

The PCP said "doesn't sound like asthma" and the ENT agreed.

I am similarly terrified of balls. DUDE, THEY ARE COMING AT MY HEAD.

The trouble with Zumba is choreography. Which reminds me how much I suck at it.

Honestly, the "finding exercise I like" is a big issue, because it's not as if I haven't tried. I just don't like it. Any time I dedicate to exercising for exercise's sake feels like time I wasted when I could have been doing something more interesting, useful, or pleasant.

[a_belladonna]

"Sounding like asthma" as in based on the symptons described or from listening to your lungs?

Balls are evil. Quite simply.

The trouble with Zumba is choreography.

Oh, I didn't know it was choreographed and all. As I said, I've never tried it. (Because I have big issues with dancing - I'd rather attempt a yoga pose and end up in my very own personal yoga pose called "the beached whale" than get out on the dancefloor.)

Honestly, the "finding exercise I like" is a big issue, because it's not as if I haven't tried.I also felt very unsure whether to post the suggestions, because I could see from your other replies that it is that. I just thought zumba because it's a form of dance, and you said you like to dance

[rikibeth]

There are several problems with bikes around here. 1) It's a very hilly area. 2) The same construction on the main street in my part of town that makes walking to a destination pretty much useless also kills the bike-friendliness, unless you like obstacle courses made of traffic cones and rough gravel. 3) Drivers are LOUSY to cyclists. And, most importantly, 4) I have yet to find a bicycle saddle that doesn't make my ass hurt. There's not all that much padding around my sit bones

[bedfull_o_books]

I am convinced that my doctor would prescribe exercise if I came in bleeding from both ears.

I would totally get a second opinion.

(And I need to get a new doctor....)

[poptartodoom]

That's just... wow. Completely ineffective, if it is anxiety causing your breathing problems- and as a fellow bipolar person with anxiety disorder, who periodically feels like someone's got a good grip on my throat? It sounds awful familiar. I also feel you on the exercise anxiety. I had awful experiences as the fat kid, and the thought of most exercise makes underlying anxiety WORSE.

How about something more in the realm of relaxation, versus exercise? Meditation. Deep breathing exercises. Finding something to center yourself with, be it a good book, good music, a movie, whatever. Bubble baths.

Also, have you considered seeing a therapist? Mine is helping me work on the sources of my anxiety.

Do you see a psychiatrist for any medication for the bipolar? Spring the idea of antianxiety meds on them. If anyone will be receptive, it will be a shrink. So long as you don't have a history of drug seeking or substance abuse, most psychiatrists are comfortable with prescribing antianxiety medications.

[rikibeth]

My psychiatrist was, at one point, providing therapy as well as meds oversight. When he left the practice, we had already discontinued the therapy because my life was going okay, and he turned my meds oversight over to an APRN. (I'm on two mood stabilizers. They have improved my life immensely.)

Who is leaving the practice next week. And so the person I got in touch with was a covering nurse. WHo didn't know me at all. And, sadly, by the time I called her -- after the PCP appointment, and facing a referral that I was certain was going to involve absolutely panic-inducing scopes, and with my breathing getting worse -- I was already self-medicating with alcohol. And admitted it. And I'm sure I sounded drug-seeking as fuck. So no happy pills for me, not now.

She was all "meanwhile, I want you to try some breathing exercises" and I said "if those had WORKED, do you think I'd be calling you?"

Knitting works, to a certain extent. Looks like I'll be doing a lot of knitting.