Fic: The Shameless Fic
Title: The Shameless Fic
Pairing(s): Ohno/Nino, Sho/Aiba, Jun/Nail Polish, Sho/Mary Sue, Aiba/Keio Graduate
Warnings: Extremely bad writing. Random Japanese, shitty grammar, no spell-check, mpreg, guest appearance by amnesiac!Mary Sue and all the other clichés we love to hate.
Summary: Nino is an emo. Ohno dies. And goes to fish. Aiba gets pregnant. Almost. Sho is a Keio graduate. And Jun is in it, too. Oh wait, that was the entire plot D:
Authors' notes: GATI MADE ME POST IT. This was written a year ago (or possibly more) and I've never felt the urge to share it. I probably step on all toes available for stepping on, but I'm not sorry about that. Besides, chill. It's for fun xD
*
*
“OHAYO MINNA-SAN,” the animal lover of Arash said when he came into the JE in the morning. “Sorry, Nino!!!!” AIba yelled when he knocked into the gamer when he was running around the dressing room.
“Why are u always so genki?!!!!” Nino roared. “Can’t u see I’m busy longing for Ohno, who will never realize how much I love him to the depths of my soul?”
Because Nino was in a one-sided love affair. He loved Ohno to the depths of his soul and being and he couldn’t imagine a life without the spacey, yet lovable and adorable, Leader of Arashi. But he could never be with Ohno, because Ohno was straight and 嵐mattered the most and Nino didn’t think that he was good enough anyway.
“Gomenasai, Nino,” Aiba said sadly, which didn’t fit the always hyper man who always did many experiments.
“Y U speaking random Japanese? Not that I care, I’ll just write another emo love song that will be so obvious but Ohno won’t notice cuz he’s spacey all the time,” Nino thought aloud and he yelled in surprise when Aiba appeared out of nowhere.
“Why are u always so sad, Nino?”
“Because it’s a part of the plot,” Nino said snarkily, because Nino is a snarky and sarcastic boy, and grabbed his guitar that had conveniently been lying on the floor. “And shouldn’t U be making out madly with Sho?”
“NO,” Aiba wailed, “Because Sho-chan is a newscaster and thinks about how the public will react and his parents want him to marry a girl who is super smart and the perfect match, and I’m not.”
“What the hell are u bakas doing?” Matsujun growled, “I don’t care about u guys as long as I can polish my nails and I love my clothes and my new hat and my matching scarf.”
“Nino-chang loves Leader………. and I love Sho, but we can’t do anything about it!1!!!” Aiba yelled and Matsujun pitched a hissy fit because he's such a diva and slammed the door behind him. 2 second s later he returned and said “Ohno is sitting right next to U gays, ohh my god I can’t believe how stupid U are!1!!” and slammed the door again bcuz he was a diva.
“Fish,” Ohno said eloquently. “Ramen.”
“OH NO,” Nino thought desperately? “What can I do now, now that Ohno obviously has heard EVERYTHING I’ve been talking to Aiba about?!!!”k
But he shouldn’t worry cuz Ohno was completely spaced out and didn’t hear anything.
“Leader!!!!” Aiba shouted. “We have a photoshoot now, and u’lll be standing right NEXT TO NINO ALL THE TIME.”
“OH NO!!! It will be torture, I CAN’T STAND NEXT TO HIM AND NOT REVEAL HOW I REALLY FEEL.” Nino yelled and ran away.
“RUN AFTER HIM, OHNO!” Aiba shouted and Sho did too, even though he hadn’t been in the room previously.
“NAIL POLISH!” Jun screamed. “GOLD RINGS!” (by the way, he would of worn the newst clothes if he could, but all his shirts and all his fantastic clothes were so last season. But now he was wearing a pretty shirt with amazing silver designs on it, and he was wearing amazingly expensive designer pants and a hat.)
So Ohno ran after him and even though Nino had only run out 5 seconds earlier, he was already so far away that Ohno had to use all his amazing dancer strength to keep up.
“Oh no, Nino!!!1!” Ohno said and pushed Nino out of the way when a car was about to hit him, so the car hit Ohno instead and Nino was so shocked that Ohno would do that that he began crying wildly.
“OMG Ohno, I luv U so much! U can’t die now!!”
“I love U too,” Ohno coughed blood up, “but I will survive if u tell me u love me forever.”
“I love u forever! I promise!” Nino shouted and kissed Ohno, who kissed back passionately and with tongues until Ohno was still and Nino shook him hard. “U CAN’T DIE!”
“U just have to kiss him,” Sho said from out of nowhere.
“OMG Sho ur so smart and u graduated from Keio!” Aiba said with hearts in his eyes.
“I did!” Sho said smartly. “But I fail at everything else in life, including sports and my parents want me to marry the girl my parents have found and she’s beautiful and hot and smart and perfect in every way, and her name is Mary, FYI, and her parents forced her to move to Japan, and on complete accident ended up living right next to me.”
Aiba cried. “AND NOW U MARRY HER.”
“NO AIBA-CHAN!” Sho denied. “Even though she lost her memory in a terrible accident and all she remembers is me, I will love U forever!”
“OMG Sho I love U!”
“U guys!” Nino yelled “I’m crying here and Ohno is dead omg u guys have no shame, but I’m still super happy for u!”
He turned to Ohno lying in his arms. “Ohno I love u forever, I think you’re my soulmate and I dun want to live without u!”
He kissed Ohno senseless and suddenly Ohno kissed back and Nino cired cuz he had thought that he had lost Ohno forever.
“OHNO YOUR ALIVE!” AIba yelled and Sho jus grinned at him cuz Aiba just was that way.
“Surprisingly even though I should be dead” Ohno said when he could breathe, cuz Nino wasn’t willing to let go of him at all.
“And I’ll love U forever! AISHITERU!” Nino said and ignored that he was speaking random Japanese, cuz that’d mean that he was speaking English all the time then. “And I wrote a song for U! It’s sappy and romantic and the fans will love it! Will u marry me?”
Nino produced a ring out of his pocket.
“Of course! And now I want to go fishing and stay out and forget to eat and almost pass out.”
“YOU CAN’T!” Nino and Sho yelled.
“But I’ll give U a new DS in babyblue and with stickers on, and I will wear a tag with ur name on!”
“OK” Nino said and stood up. “But be careful or i’ll turn violent.!”
“I’ll love U anyway and live in complete denial. And when I get home we will have tons of badly written R pron,” Ohno promised and ran off to go fish.
“KISS ME SHO-CHAN!” Aibaa yelled and tackled Sho.
“Not on the streets!”
“NO ON THE MOUTH, your so silly for a Keio graduate, Sho-chan! And then I will get pregnant!”
“NAIL POLISH!” Jun screamed.
*
/THE END
Pairing(s): Ohno/Nino, Sho/Aiba, Jun/Nail Polish, Sho/Mary Sue, Aiba/Keio Graduate
Warnings: Extremely bad writing. Random Japanese, shitty grammar, no spell-check, mpreg, guest appearance by amnesiac!Mary Sue and all the other clichés we love to hate.
Summary: Nino is an emo. Ohno dies. And goes to fish. Aiba gets pregnant. Almost. Sho is a Keio graduate. And Jun is in it, too. Oh wait, that was the entire plot D:
Authors' notes: GATI MADE ME POST IT. This was written a year ago (or possibly more) and I've never felt the urge to share it. I probably step on all toes available for stepping on, but I'm not sorry about that. Besides, chill. It's for fun xD
*
*
“OHAYO MINNA-SAN,” the animal lover of Arash said when he came into the JE in the morning. “Sorry, Nino!!!!” AIba yelled when he knocked into the gamer when he was running around the dressing room.
“Why are u always so genki?!!!!” Nino roared. “Can’t u see I’m busy longing for Ohno, who will never realize how much I love him to the depths of my soul?”
Because Nino was in a one-sided love affair. He loved Ohno to the depths of his soul and being and he couldn’t imagine a life without the spacey, yet lovable and adorable, Leader of Arashi. But he could never be with Ohno, because Ohno was straight and 嵐mattered the most and Nino didn’t think that he was good enough anyway.
“Gomenasai, Nino,” Aiba said sadly, which didn’t fit the always hyper man who always did many experiments.
“Y U speaking random Japanese? Not that I care, I’ll just write another emo love song that will be so obvious but Ohno won’t notice cuz he’s spacey all the time,” Nino thought aloud and he yelled in surprise when Aiba appeared out of nowhere.
“Why are u always so sad, Nino?”
“Because it’s a part of the plot,” Nino said snarkily, because Nino is a snarky and sarcastic boy, and grabbed his guitar that had conveniently been lying on the floor. “And shouldn’t U be making out madly with Sho?”
“NO,” Aiba wailed, “Because Sho-chan is a newscaster and thinks about how the public will react and his parents want him to marry a girl who is super smart and the perfect match, and I’m not.”
“What the hell are u bakas doing?” Matsujun growled, “I don’t care about u guys as long as I can polish my nails and I love my clothes and my new hat and my matching scarf.”
“Nino-chang loves Leader………. and I love Sho, but we can’t do anything about it!1!!!” Aiba yelled and Matsujun pitched a hissy fit because he's such a diva and slammed the door behind him. 2 second s later he returned and said “Ohno is sitting right next to U gays, ohh my god I can’t believe how stupid U are!1!!” and slammed the door again bcuz he was a diva.
“Fish,” Ohno said eloquently. “Ramen.”
“OH NO,” Nino thought desperately? “What can I do now, now that Ohno obviously has heard EVERYTHING I’ve been talking to Aiba about?!!!”k
But he shouldn’t worry cuz Ohno was completely spaced out and didn’t hear anything.
“Leader!!!!” Aiba shouted. “We have a photoshoot now, and u’lll be standing right NEXT TO NINO ALL THE TIME.”
“OH NO!!! It will be torture, I CAN’T STAND NEXT TO HIM AND NOT REVEAL HOW I REALLY FEEL.” Nino yelled and ran away.
“RUN AFTER HIM, OHNO!” Aiba shouted and Sho did too, even though he hadn’t been in the room previously.
“NAIL POLISH!” Jun screamed. “GOLD RINGS!” (by the way, he would of worn the newst clothes if he could, but all his shirts and all his fantastic clothes were so last season. But now he was wearing a pretty shirt with amazing silver designs on it, and he was wearing amazingly expensive designer pants and a hat.)
So Ohno ran after him and even though Nino had only run out 5 seconds earlier, he was already so far away that Ohno had to use all his amazing dancer strength to keep up.
“Oh no, Nino!!!1!” Ohno said and pushed Nino out of the way when a car was about to hit him, so the car hit Ohno instead and Nino was so shocked that Ohno would do that that he began crying wildly.
“OMG Ohno, I luv U so much! U can’t die now!!”
“I love U too,” Ohno coughed blood up, “but I will survive if u tell me u love me forever.”
“I love u forever! I promise!” Nino shouted and kissed Ohno, who kissed back passionately and with tongues until Ohno was still and Nino shook him hard. “U CAN’T DIE!”
“U just have to kiss him,” Sho said from out of nowhere.
“OMG Sho ur so smart and u graduated from Keio!” Aiba said with hearts in his eyes.
“I did!” Sho said smartly. “But I fail at everything else in life, including sports and my parents want me to marry the girl my parents have found and she’s beautiful and hot and smart and perfect in every way, and her name is Mary, FYI, and her parents forced her to move to Japan, and on complete accident ended up living right next to me.”
Aiba cried. “AND NOW U MARRY HER.”
“NO AIBA-CHAN!” Sho denied. “Even though she lost her memory in a terrible accident and all she remembers is me, I will love U forever!”
“OMG Sho I love U!”
“U guys!” Nino yelled “I’m crying here and Ohno is dead omg u guys have no shame, but I’m still super happy for u!”
He turned to Ohno lying in his arms. “Ohno I love u forever, I think you’re my soulmate and I dun want to live without u!”
He kissed Ohno senseless and suddenly Ohno kissed back and Nino cired cuz he had thought that he had lost Ohno forever.
“OHNO YOUR ALIVE!” AIba yelled and Sho jus grinned at him cuz Aiba just was that way.
“Surprisingly even though I should be dead” Ohno said when he could breathe, cuz Nino wasn’t willing to let go of him at all.
“And I’ll love U forever! AISHITERU!” Nino said and ignored that he was speaking random Japanese, cuz that’d mean that he was speaking English all the time then. “And I wrote a song for U! It’s sappy and romantic and the fans will love it! Will u marry me?”
Nino produced a ring out of his pocket.
“Of course! And now I want to go fishing and stay out and forget to eat and almost pass out.”
“YOU CAN’T!” Nino and Sho yelled.
“But I’ll give U a new DS in babyblue and with stickers on, and I will wear a tag with ur name on!”
“OK” Nino said and stood up. “But be careful or i’ll turn violent.!”
“I’ll love U anyway and live in complete denial. And when I get home we will have tons of badly written R pron,” Ohno promised and ran off to go fish.
“KISS ME SHO-CHAN!” Aibaa yelled and tackled Sho.
“Not on the streets!”
“NO ON THE MOUTH, your so silly for a Keio graduate, Sho-chan! And then I will get pregnant!”
“NAIL POLISH!” Jun screamed.
*
/THE END