Cold As You (Love Yourself)
Not last of the Cold As You series. There's Yaotome Left.
Mikako's POV
He doesn't respond. And I can't blame him for it. I haven't been very responsive myself. And I only have myself to fault for. I'd forgotten how strong he is.
It's weird. I was so used to him apologizing and wanting to hear from me that now that he isn't, I'm not so sure if I'm going to hate him for it, or hate myself for it. I don't like this feeling. Being ignored.
And now I'm struggling as to whether or not make this call. For the ninth time. What if he doesn't answer this one? Do I call him again?
I've sent him four messages but no reply came.
He must have felt like shit. It sure is what I'm feeling currently. And now I wonder just how many times he must have felt like shit because of my doing.
I made him feel the worst. I know that now. How do I ever undo it? Take back the pain I brought him?
I can't undo it. I know I can't. Deed's been done. And now whatever we have is hanging on the line. I wonder if he always had this much pride?
He still isn't picking up. Do I make the 10th call? My heart says I should. My mind says a different thing.
What if he doesn't pick up? It would be a dent on my ego. And what if he does but tells me I should stop reaching him?
Make the call.
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Takahisa's POV
It's my pride taking over. I just know it. Or maybe I just had enough. I just had enough of feeling like I don't matter when I should.
She's been calling me but I haven't received any of it. She sent me messages but I just couldn't muster myself to even read it. Why should I?
This is a bad thing. Me making her feel the same way she has made me feel. It's like I'm avenging myself. And in relationships, communication is what's most important right?
When communication dies, so does the relationship. I'm not sure if I'm willing to let that happen yet. I'm not sure if I'm willing to let her go. But my pride just won't let me have it. It won't let me talk to her.
She must have gotten tired of reaching. Nine calls. She made nine. And an hour already has passed since that last one.
Make the call.
"Masuda-san?" Says the person on the other end of the line. "Hi, Riko." I say. "What can I do for you?" She asked. And so I told her how I wasn't picking up my girlfriend's call. To my surprise, she laughed.
"No. You are not prideful. You just love yourself. And there's nothing wrong about that. Communication is the key most of the time. But we both know sometimes, silence can be the most powerful of means to convey one's thought."
I think what you were doing was right. And now that she has stopped, don't reach her. Cause she will. Eventually. If you matter to her. And when she does, make sure to let her know she matters too. Again, it's not wrong to love yourself. So sometimes, it's okay not to make that call.
Riko-chan was right. And so this time, I will allow myself to not feel guilty about anything I didn't make. I will not make that call. She should. Even if I'm itching to do so since she hasn't contacted me for more than an hour now.
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*rings 4x*
"Hello." He says.
"I'm sorry." She says.