its not fair when your roommate makes you drink a corona with her because shes getting ready to get on a bus for rosarito when you're getting ready to go to work and then come home and go to bed at 2 to get up 3 and a half hours later and go to barry's boot camp. boo. but since barry is on vacation for a week, we have sexy matt to whip us into ( Read more... )

i am a talented talented girl. when i want to be. i apparently can only be domestic when i am angry at the entire masculine sex (or when im drunk and decide to make omlettes for everyone but thats another story). its like a vengeance thing, i guess. sort of a "ha, i only cook for myself, bitch!" and it's yummy. even if we were out of olive oil and ( Read more... )

boys are the devil. honestly. sometimes, guys may say that girls are the devil, and they may be right. but sometimes, it's ridiculous how much they are satan. for instance, when a guy that you were seeing for months tries to invite himself over with the girl you both work with that he apparently started dating while you were still sleeping together ( Read more... )

i'm sure barry's boot camp will turn out great. eventually i will be hot and fit. but for now, all it has done for me is make me so sore that when i walk i look more than a little bit retarded. and now justin is yelling along with dora the explorer. i think they mean different things when they demand, "WHERE IS MY FIREHOSE?"

at least when some guys turn out to be assholes, the other ones do their best to make up for it. some of them offer to drive to los angeles to kick the shit out of said asshole. others offer up the best the gay nightlife has to offer. i had a midterm today or i would have spent last night doing intoxicated karaoke with the theater gays. its always ( Read more... )

i went home for easter and hung out with my family. my sister and i drank mimosas and pretended to help my dad fix dinner. a bottle of champagne later, we also found an egg dye kit and made an assortment of "special" easter eggs. there was "bitch", "butthead", "stupid whore" and "A-hole", as well as "eat me" at my dad's request. i even made one ( Read more... )

"cheaper is good. except when you're putting a price on yourself."
once again, thanks mom.

i was walking home, delirious, from my second final of the day and i passed a group of co-eds playing frisbee in the dorm quad. all i could hear past my headphones was the girl say, "i have an embarrassing habit of..." whatever it is she said, i hope she knows she also has an embarrassing habit of playing frisbee in public.

you should never hire a girl with a lisp to do public service anouncements. if you do, she might list one of the possible routes to HIV infection as "certain foods exchanged during sex"..."here, have a muffin, AND SOME AIDS." and i just want to thank my buddy justin for looking over my abnormal psych notes, pointing, and yelling, "look, ALCOHOL ( Read more... )

spring break florida 2004???