(no subject)

[rimah]

i dont know why but ever since yesterday all i could do was clean my room. i woke up sick and unable to sleep in spite of my extreme feelings of drowsiness and started rearranging my room and dint finish until late into the night when most of the laundry was done. this morning i woke up at like 6:15 and started cleaning my room some more, i dunno why, delaying a shower until i felt the room was sufficiently tidy. then at like 8 i think i stopped to go take a shower came back tried unsuccessfully to study arabic, then fell asleep fora little bit maybe 20 min idk woke up refreshed and still couldnt study so i decided to beat the rugs in my room and sweep some more in addition to other things. like rearranging my earings neatly on top of the dresser and moving stuff in and out of drawers until they were to my liking, and im not actually satisfied with the current appearance of anything but i was so out of breath while sweeping (let's not forget that i'm sick and already outof breath with chest pains) that i quit and just sat on the window hoping the jill scott cd would slow down my thoughts and organize them again. but they failed to do so and in spite of the promise i made 10 min before that i wouldnt do so, i started crying for no reason. so i turned up the music louder, hopefully not to jessica's disapproval, and forced myself to sing along till i calmed down.

im waiting for my parents to come b/c my mother called me this morning and apparently, in order to avoid telling him that she was coming tomorrow with my sister and brother-in-law already, she agreed to go with him today when he told her he was coming up to visit me. i feel so hug deprived or something i have no idea why saturdays are such negative days for me. i gotta calm down adn go to breakfast.

i miss priya, she always has good timing for some reason to pop up when im sad and unintentionally cheer me up.