rain tears // side B: Kida
Title: Rain tears
Author: rin_no_himitsu
Genre: Romance/Angst
Pairings: onesided Mikado/Kida, Kida/Saki
Rating: T
Word Count: 945
Warnings: Mikado's chapter takes place during the last episode of the anime; the rest is post-anime. Swearing.
Summary: In a way, that last fight tore him away from Masaomi more than it seemed. Drabble-ish.
A/N: I lied. DX /shot There's more Kida/Saki than I originally planned, and no Mikado/Anri at all. >_>
I'm not sure if anyone's reading these, but if you are, I hope you enjoy it! Comments are welcome~
“Please don’t die, Masaomi! I need you… Stay with me! Don’t leave me alone! ...I love you.”
I woke up in the hospital, wrapped in bandages. I opened my eyes slowly. Ouch. Everything hurt. If I were to do an inventory of what hurt and what didn’t, the latter would be considerably shorter. It was dark, and the curtains were pulled together. I followed one of the tubes surrounding me to my arm: an IV drip. A steady beep could be heard coming from another machine hooked up to me. I wondered how I got in here-and where “here” was.
Soon enough, the events of the night before came flashing back; and in a flood of images, I saw Mikado, Anri and the Black Biker burst into the warehouse-the Yellow Scarves’ hideout and base of operations. I remembered getting ganged up on, and then my friends rushing up to me, Anri going off to get Kadota, Mikado whispering pleas of “Please don’t die” through his tears.
Mikado.
As I was rushed into the emergency room, I drifted in and out of consciousness. Mikado was right beside me, tears still staining his flushed cheeks. Was it him who said those words?
“I love you, Masaomi! Please don’t go!”
It had to be.
“Fuck.”
I groaned inwardly (because actually doing so would be unspeakably painful) and closed my eyes again. The next time I opened them, sun was shining through the curtains and I found Mikado staring down at me.
“I love you.”
Those words kept repeating themselves over and over in my head. It made me feel like crap, and seeing him made it worse. I opened my mouth-and fuck it hurt like hell-but Mikado silenced me. He smiled, but it wasn’t the same smile as before. His eyes held an emptiness that wasn’t that before, his face seemed to have matured and oh God he wasn’t the same Mikado I knew four years ago.
“Don’t talk, Masaomi. The doctor said it would hurt a lot if you did.”
He was different. The Mikado I knew before was so naïve, so innocent. And after he moved to the city, he lost that childish innocence I cherished. He gained the knowledge that I had been trying so hard to protect him from-those dark underworld dealings that lay below the bustling, kind surface of Ikebukuro. He was the leader of the Dollars.
And he loved me. As more than a friend.
If I knew this before he had moved here, I would have dismissed it-even teased him about it. But this Mikado-this strong, grown-up man… He had changed more than I would’ve liked to believe. And that scared me: where had my Mikado gone? He was always my angel; evidence that I could be a normal teenager. A safe haven I could return to; someone who didn’t know about the dark side of Ikebukuro.
I didn’t know what to do.
Not that I could do much except sleep and watch TV, anyways.
Mikado stayed with me every minute he could, coming straight to the hospital after school and even opting to sleep over at the hospital instead of going home. (“I have no one to go home to, anyways.”) He had had a huge argument with the doctor about visiting hours, until he made the point of “Who else would visit him?” and the doctor finally agreed to letting him stay.
Soon I was able to talk, and we chatted about school, our old homes and the future; never touching on what happened that night. Sometimes Anri came to visit, and it would be like nothing happened and we were still three friends that had nothing to do with the dark side of the city.
At night, Mikado would stay up with me and hold my hand until I fell asleep. Every night, when he thought I was asleep, he would get up and kiss me on the cheek, whispering “I love you, please get better soon. I’m so happy you’re still here”.
I was falling in love with him-like, real love.
Do you know what it feels like to know someone loves you but not be able to tell them “I love you” back? It’s hell. I hate it. I hate how Mikado pretends everything is alright. I hate how he still loves me after what I did to him. I hate how I can’t tell him “I know” and “I love you too”, because if I did, all hell would be let loose and he’d have to be hurt again.
And then there was Saki.
The fearless girl who didn’t care about who I was. The girl who slowly, but surely won me over. The girl whom I put in danger. The girl who still loves me.
And I knew that, despite the endless amount of times I denied it, I still loved her too.
So when she came into my room that one night, dressed in those hospital clothes I’ve seen her in for who-knows-how long now, I broke. Tears ran down my cheeks, and I did my best not to cry out loud, for fear of waking Mikado up and causing him the hurt and pain he didn’t deserve.
She just came next to me and wrapped her arms around me; let me cry on her shoulder.
“It’s okay, Masaomi. You don’t have to protect me anymore. You don’t have to protect anyone anymore.”
And how I needed someone to tell me that. A realization hit me. It has to be this way. I’m sorry, Mikado…
“I love you, Saki. I still love you.”
“I know.”