[PP JAN] Mistake [Original Story]
Title: Mistake
Genre: Angst
Rating: T
Summary: I want to die.
A/N: I've wanted to write a story about suicide for a while. This was...done in half an hour, so I don't know how shitty it is. ;; Anyways, enjoy!! ^^
I want to die.
I mean, it’s not like anyone would miss me anyways, right?
When I was a kid, my parents brought me to the amusement park. I remember going on all the roller coasters, the merry-go-round, and of course, the Ferris wheel. Ah, yes…I loved the Ferris wheel the most. Being so high above the ground was exhilarating. I loved it.
Then, they sat me down on a bench and told me to stay put.
“We’ll buy you some cotton candy, all right?” said my father. “You’ll love it.”
It’s funny. My father was the one who spoke, but I can’t remember his face even if I tried. It’s my mother-no, that woman-that I could picture so clearly. She wasn’t crying, but she had this melancholy smile on her face. Like she didn’t want to leave me there. And with the sun setting in the background, it almost made her appear angelic.
No, that’s not right. She can’t be an angel. After all, she left me there. Left me all alone. Left me to die.
I was six years old.
---
The groundskeeper found me and took me in. He was determined to find the people that left me there, but his efforts were fruitless. After two years, he gave up.
“I always wanted a kid of my own,” he said. Probably to make me feel better. Though it didn’t do much. After all, I always knew that my biological parents would make sure they couldn’t be found.
He always took care of me as if I was really his own child. I think he even loved me.
“Now listen here, Kimmy. You’re not allowed to die before me, all right?”
I’m sorry. I don’t think I’ll be able to keep that promise.
---
See, death is a way of escape. And it’s not life I need to escape from, as strange as that sounds. I mean, I’m actually quite content with my life.
I don’t have a lot of friends. Oh, who am I kidding? I don’t have any friends. But I’m perfectly fine with that. ‘Cause, y’know, my foster father-that benevolent groundskeeper-is all I need. I’ve never been much of a people person anyways.
My grades are average, and despite being a loner, I’ve never been bullied.
To a lot of other people, it would seem like I’ve lived a pretty good, or maybe even better-than-average life.
I wouldn’t argue with them.
The problem is me. See, I’m not supposed to be alive. Why else would my biological parents leave me alone all those years ago? Maybe I came too early. Maybe they weren’t ready to raise a child. Maybe they couldn’t afford to support me. It doesn’t matter.
I was a burden to them. So they left me. It’s as simple as that. I’m a mistake.
Mistakes can be fixed.
And after all these years, I think I’ve finally gotten up the courage to fix this one.
…
Goodbye.