there's fifteen knives in the cake. tell the jugglers they're fired, or the cook i like his moxie.
i have a job! it's a job.
to be exact, i'm working for toys'b'we. i don't like retail very much, but i can put up with it fine if it's not a total mess, the managers aren't idiots, and the staff aren't clearly out of their depth.
the system is a mess that was dumped on the idiots they left in charge who are totally out of their depth because apparently all the staff ditched to avoid black friday. yeah, this is good.
but.....i needs me a job (well, money but there's very few reliable ways for me to pull that of right now so...) and this is a job. and hopefully a decent thing to put on my resume for a recent contact. ugh, not the best of reasons to take a job, but this is where i am.
i wonder if the lesson here is supposed to be fuck everyone over & take what you want. not that i'd ever take that lesson up, i prefer it to be very personal and vindictive when i choose to fuck someone over. wait, off topic.
the job itself is easy. stock things, build bikes, help people find crap, remember not to call the crap crap in front of customer if at all possible. but the management is entirely unable to figure out what they're doing, likely due to the "a weekend of training is plenty" methods of large corporate entities. maybe one day they'll pull their shit into gear, but it's far too close to the holiday season for them to do it now. as a result noone knows what they need to be doing like 30% of the time and any events handed down from the corporate hatelords are....um...."interesting". black friday will probably end in a few people being broken (by the work, not by me. well, maybe by me, i have no idea).
like all retail work, i ain't getting paid enough to put up with this, but i also need the money......ah well.
I don't get anything near enough sleep.
now, it's not like i don't go to sleep early enough (I don't) or that i have too much stress to get sleep (*cough*) or that i'm working a schedule that interferes with my ability to sleep (of course it does) or anything like that...
I just really hate sleeping.
you would too.
my bed is old and has been missing a few parts for ages and the mattress and boxsprings are janked out, so i always wake up more sore than i am when i went to sleep. and the lack of sound when i'm going to bed is crushingly loud so when i sleep i need to play music. but since i can't play it terribly loudly i can still "feel" the quiet buzzing past the music threatening me. and the bed it right up against the window so i keep feeling like people are gonna be staring at me through it while i'm asleep. and of course, any time i dream is nothing more than a thick stew of my regrets and fears playing on my brain. over and over again, as though my brain refuses to tire of insuring i remember it all as freshly as possible. sleep has never been a respite for me, but rather a personal reminder i have not done well by my own yardstick and i should feel awful about that.
it's understandable i wouldn't like sleep. like i said, you would too.
the result is that i'm always, always, no damned exceptions at least a little tired and yawn all the time. there's no point in explaining it all the time (i am aware the sound thing is a little insane) so i rarely ever do. but i still get asked if i get enough sleep and once in a while it's hard not to mentally label the person asking "moron for it.....
for fuck's sake, if only the brain-dead hate merchant had realized he was never going to win on the platform of "Rape is the woman's fault, being poor is the poor's fault, and we must save our precious elites!" the fucker could have called it off and saved us at least a good two months of that shit.
I swear, when it rains, i go turn the hose on myself. i've got like twice as many things i need to do than i can get done already and then decide 1:to help someone with a task that will require a stupid amount of time to do and 2: get randomly hooked on a game that is explicitly for sinking time in.
i'm a dip. i don't even seem to care. i'll just sign on for crap because hey, i'm not keeling over dead yet! let's throw some more on! did i have any thought in my head that i might, y'know, need to rest some? of course not! doin' stuff is the same as resting right?
i'm pretty sure that under all the broken parts and faulty experimental designs in my head there's a switch somewhere marked "screw self over/screw self over" getting flicked over and over by a hampster wheel, and the world's most healthy hampster is on it. even with multi-tasking i don't have time for writing this, and here i am anyways! i feel like every time i come up with a plan some shitwipe manages to force so many steps onto starting it that i might as well screw around and work on other things. it's like i WANT to keel over dead for exhaustion. Well, okay. part of me does, but not in this idiotic drugework. i've got to stop being so accepting of fate and stab more people.
in the proverbial sense, of course.....i'd never just shank some mumblemouth retard for treating me like a dipshit.
to be exact, i'm working for toys'b'we. i don't like retail very much, but i can put up with it fine if it's not a total mess, the managers aren't idiots, and the staff aren't clearly out of their depth.
the system is a mess that was dumped on the idiots they left in charge who are totally out of their depth because apparently all the staff ditched to avoid black friday. yeah, this is good.
but.....i needs me a job (well, money but there's very few reliable ways for me to pull that of right now so...) and this is a job. and hopefully a decent thing to put on my resume for a recent contact. ugh, not the best of reasons to take a job, but this is where i am.
i wonder if the lesson here is supposed to be fuck everyone over & take what you want. not that i'd ever take that lesson up, i prefer it to be very personal and vindictive when i choose to fuck someone over. wait, off topic.
the job itself is easy. stock things, build bikes, help people find crap, remember not to call the crap crap in front of customer if at all possible. but the management is entirely unable to figure out what they're doing, likely due to the "a weekend of training is plenty" methods of large corporate entities. maybe one day they'll pull their shit into gear, but it's far too close to the holiday season for them to do it now. as a result noone knows what they need to be doing like 30% of the time and any events handed down from the corporate hatelords are....um...."interesting". black friday will probably end in a few people being broken (by the work, not by me. well, maybe by me, i have no idea).
like all retail work, i ain't getting paid enough to put up with this, but i also need the money......ah well.
I don't get anything near enough sleep.
now, it's not like i don't go to sleep early enough (I don't) or that i have too much stress to get sleep (*cough*) or that i'm working a schedule that interferes with my ability to sleep (of course it does) or anything like that...
I just really hate sleeping.
you would too.
my bed is old and has been missing a few parts for ages and the mattress and boxsprings are janked out, so i always wake up more sore than i am when i went to sleep. and the lack of sound when i'm going to bed is crushingly loud so when i sleep i need to play music. but since i can't play it terribly loudly i can still "feel" the quiet buzzing past the music threatening me. and the bed it right up against the window so i keep feeling like people are gonna be staring at me through it while i'm asleep. and of course, any time i dream is nothing more than a thick stew of my regrets and fears playing on my brain. over and over again, as though my brain refuses to tire of insuring i remember it all as freshly as possible. sleep has never been a respite for me, but rather a personal reminder i have not done well by my own yardstick and i should feel awful about that.
it's understandable i wouldn't like sleep. like i said, you would too.
the result is that i'm always, always, no damned exceptions at least a little tired and yawn all the time. there's no point in explaining it all the time (i am aware the sound thing is a little insane) so i rarely ever do. but i still get asked if i get enough sleep and once in a while it's hard not to mentally label the person asking "moron for it.....
for fuck's sake, if only the brain-dead hate merchant had realized he was never going to win on the platform of "Rape is the woman's fault, being poor is the poor's fault, and we must save our precious elites!" the fucker could have called it off and saved us at least a good two months of that shit.
I swear, when it rains, i go turn the hose on myself. i've got like twice as many things i need to do than i can get done already and then decide 1:to help someone with a task that will require a stupid amount of time to do and 2: get randomly hooked on a game that is explicitly for sinking time in.
i'm a dip. i don't even seem to care. i'll just sign on for crap because hey, i'm not keeling over dead yet! let's throw some more on! did i have any thought in my head that i might, y'know, need to rest some? of course not! doin' stuff is the same as resting right?
i'm pretty sure that under all the broken parts and faulty experimental designs in my head there's a switch somewhere marked "screw self over/screw self over" getting flicked over and over by a hampster wheel, and the world's most healthy hampster is on it. even with multi-tasking i don't have time for writing this, and here i am anyways! i feel like every time i come up with a plan some shitwipe manages to force so many steps onto starting it that i might as well screw around and work on other things. it's like i WANT to keel over dead for exhaustion. Well, okay. part of me does, but not in this idiotic drugework. i've got to stop being so accepting of fate and stab more people.
in the proverbial sense, of course.....i'd never just shank some mumblemouth retard for treating me like a dipshit.