[Personal] Introduction
The Basics:
Well, I'm definitely not new to Livejournal, but this is the first real dive into having one directly concerning myself. My name is Erin. Most people call me that, but a few call me "RinRin." Do not call me "Ern," please. It's ugly, and I will threaten to do you bodily harm if you do so. That goes double for you jokers who think "Urin" is cheeky and clever. I'm a 19-year-old sophomore in college, and this semester starts my first real freefall into the world of Radiology. Hence, the stress might come spilling over into this journal, and you'll probably hear me complain. Yes. Because I'd rather sound like a whining, sniveling idiot online than take it out on my peers in real life.
Personality:
I'd love to give you this cookie-cutter essay on what a nice girl I am, but that wouldn't be fair. Generally, I'm pretty straight-laced. But not because I want to be. See, I do what I do because I like it. If I wanted to do other things, I would. It's not a matter of principle. It's just that way things are. I don't smoke because I find it gross, not because someone told me not to do it. (Cigar and pipe-smoking don't sicken me, but I still choke on the air.) I don't drink, because most alcoholic drinks have gluten in them. (Woe.) Doesn't mean I won't sip wine when you give it to me, since it's "safe." But I don't drink much anyway, because I like to remember things. I don't care if I'm sad. I won't drown my sorrows in booze, because I think that sadness is something I need to fully experience. I don't care if you do or don't do what I'm naming - this is about me. A lot of things - smoking, recreational drugs, etc - happen because people are bored. Bored people do stupid things. Since I have the uncanny ability to entertain myself with something as simple as a sheet of paper (tic-tac-toe), I don't need them. Besides, I could be doing a million other things - working, running, school, kissing, drawing, what have you.
Kay. On to the real personality part. By nature, I'm high strung. There - I said it. I ranked as a "fidgety kitten in a previous life" - so named by my mother, the woman who's seen me clearly since birth. (For your information, my older sister was a "bouncing puppy" and my younger sister was a "curl cat" - very accurate. At least a finnicky kitten implies cuteness.) As a child, I was a fussy and annoying brat. A lot of my earliest memories involve having things arranged in a particular manner - whether that involved having all my toys lined up, wearing accessories a certain way, arranging my crayons, etc. Mom asked the doctor about my anal-retentiveness but was told it went alongside my specific health profile (collic, eczema) and not to worry. Glad he didn't try to overtreat. Kids are way too medicated these days. (Case in point: all energy points to ADD or the like. *rolls eyes*)
Anyway, as for the "me" now, I'm a mix of contraditcions. During the past two years, I've really come back to "being" myself. My last couple of years of high school, I felt like an alien in my own skin - I was jumpy - I was moody - I was terribly lethargic and generally "out of it." (I wonder which of you could tell?) I got sick a lot. I got injured way more than I should have (due to, to put it bluntly, a bunch of idiot wannabe coaches with overinflated egos). I was always sick to my stomach. I missed a lot of classes. My skin was hypersensitive to anything and worse than it had ever been. Perfume nearly knocked me out when I smelled it. What changed? Hah. That's a long story involving a wonderwoman called Nana and a little "Celiac Cookbook" my younger sister purchased for me. I won't tell it today. It's long, not for those who don't care, and a bit hard to portray with mere words. I'll just say that what you put into your mouth has profound effects on who are as a person (health).
I'm a mutable person, and I respond to different settings. I'm laid-back about things like appearances and such, but I'm high-strung in my ambitions. Or, actually, I can be pretty irritable for no reason at all, usually when I'm not adhering to my personal dietary needs or when I'm living under the hazardous condition of PMS. (When I start itching, I twitch and get a bit loopy and wide-eyed and shaky.) As for me, I love many things. Life has been good to me - not easy all the time, but good. I'm a different kind of person. Very much at ease and extroverted with strangers, but a little harder to get close to and perhaps a bit introverted when you reach the pseudo-friends stage. But the more you hang around me, the more honest I become, and if you can get past my outer shell I'm pretty loyal. I can be supremely loud in the presence of those I'm close to, getting pegged as having "a phrase or noise for every situation," or I can be kind of reserved. It was never a special talent of mine to talk without saying much, so most of the useless chit-chat people indulge in is lost on me. Okay, so yes. I'm getting better at this whole "talking about nothing" thing, but honestly, I'd rather talk about something more interesting. Emotions. Life. Death. Science. Careers. Philosophy. Whatever.
Career:
I'm currently majoring in Radiology - enrolled in a two year program at that. I'm very intrigued by the challenge, since I've sadly (if I'm honest with myself) received relatively little of those when it comes to school. (Insert long story about dumbing self down in the past and resolving not to do so any longer. Not that I'm particularly intelligent, but that my education has been lacking.) I have been lazy in the past though, and despite what people would think, I've done more "get-by" work than I'd like to admit. Sorry if that offends anyone. So, yes. I'm going to be a Radiologic Technologist if things go as I plan. After that, my tentative plan is to finish up what I need to go to this lovely place to further my education/become a Radiologic Assistant (new career title that just came into being - similar to a Nurse Practioner, but in a more specialized field). Because I really like the prospect of helping doctors read radiographs, etc. But it's important to say that, while I have a pretty involved plan, I'm not locking myself into anything. Wherever my heart takes me is where I'll go - even if it pulls me off the beaten path.
Likes:
I like art - drawing and painting and such. Not enough to make it a job (that takes all the fun out of said "hobby" anyway), but enough that I have supplies at my disposal. Artsy places have my love - Ave Maria Grotto and other small sites, antiques shops, junk shops, auctions, flea markets. Two, I like to write. No, nothing really lives for a long time (crumpled papers) but the fact remains that I do it. It's cool. It's fun. Great stress relief. I don't do poetry, really, anymore (though I went through this awkward teenage angst phase where I did), but I do like to write psychologically and descriptively at times. Bah.
Anyway, moving on: I love beaches, pajama pants and ankle-socks. Recently, I like to cook - though I'm by no means an expert yet. I must cook - various breads and creative chicken recipes, mostly. Eating out sickens me most of the time, especially fast food, but I love(d) sandwich joints and some of the nicer places. Though one can never tell just exactly what will agree with me (stomach is fussy). This summer, I've craved three things so strongly that it's pitiful: fresh pineapple, fresh peaches, beef stew, and little boxes of raisins. Wait, that's four. And stew's really more involved - because all the ingredients I put in (celery, corn, tomatoes, etc, etc) are love as well. ♥ Oh. And I like honest people. Fake people really grate on my nerves. I guess that makes me a hypocrite, since I put on a mask of my own a lot of the time. Anyway. Yes. "Real" people - very nice. I like people most of the time. I love kids - that includes the misunderstood troublemakers. I like old people, too. They tell good stories.
Dislikes:
It annoys me when people lump kids all in a group and complain about them - like stripping them of individuality and branding them like cattle. I also hate when people don't respect children. Children are people, too. Hell, there's research that little infants are more aware than we realize. Respect kids. Respect babies, too, for crying out loud. Kids - no - young people can be pretty sharp, and their perspective is something none of us need to forget about.
Word. Don't say "Ern." Don't say "Urin." Not my names.
I despise people being cruel about others' health problems. Before I graduated, I was watching the softball evaluatons, and there was this one chipper girl (pretty solid player too - don't know where she was from or what her name was). While she was running laps, I noticed that her breath was hitching abnormally. She sounded like she had asthma. Well, turned out she did. She came off the field after she was done and asked the coach to excuse her for a moment because she needed to deal with her inhaler. So, she went to the side and did so. The coach, idiot woman, turned to the peewee assistant and made this annoying, high-pitched voice and mimicked, "I want my inhaler, I want my inhaler," in a tone that wasn't funny. There are countless time I've wanted to wring that woman's neck, but that was the second strongest time I've felt the urge to do so. (The strongest? Ohh, that's a story meant for another day - involving my little sister's teeth being knocked out. I was not a pretty person that day.)
Other things. Myspace annoys me, even though I have a profile there. I've often toyed with purging the thing. I hate flashy-blinky-sparkly things that make webpages take a long time to load. I don't want to see your boyfriend's name outlined in the stupid sparkling .gifs. Nor do I want to see your special quiz/birthday/quote outlined as such. That's an irrational pet peeve, yes. Also: I hate discrimiation - racial, gender, sexual preference. People are people, mmkay? Yeah, people are bad and good. But for crying out loud, that's not limited to any specific appearance. Also: outcasting people for what they like? Yeah, you can label Winnie the Pooh or Ren & Stimpy or Reality Tv or Anime "lame," but don't freaking down people for what they like. Same goes for music, etc.
So, yes. Warning. I'm tired of cracks about my allergies. I can tell when you're laughing with me and when you're laughing at me. I know I sound defensive, but damn. I feel like it. I'm not allergic to everything on the planet, and actually, it's not the wheezing, anaphylactic-type problem you attribute it to being. I'm not a weakling dragging my feet as I sniffle and cough. (Although there's nothing shameful if someone has to deal with something like that. Have some Goddamned respect.) I've been tested numerous times, and the results are generally inconclusive when you examine the big picture. Yes, there are "anchor" problems which always show up, but sometimes other results are quite wishy-washy in choosing to show up. (Most of my sensitivites and chemical anyway, and chemicals are bad for everyone.) Think of it like this: I'm a glass. Every sensitivity is a drop of water, and when that threshold is exceeded, I become hyper-sensitive. If you don't get that analogy, do me a favor and shut up about my "allergies." It's not that fucking simple.
"Are you this mean in real life?"
No. Generally, when I see you on the street, I'm very pleasant to your face at the very least. Some of my past acquaintances might think I'm ditzy even, because that is the defensive facade I chose to use a lot in the past. I may be a chatterbox and fill the silence or I might let you do it. I might kickstart a conversation or I might stare at you awkwardly. Really. That's just the way I am. I do care about people's feelings and emotions, and I'm tender-hearted most of the time. I'm not going to pretend I know what you're going through, though, if you decide that telling me your problems will make you feel better. It's a bit silly for me to try and pretend like I know the hardship of...having your home wiped away by one Hurricane Katrina, for instance. And I think it's a bit disrespectful if I assume I can empathize to that level.
The rest? Maybe you'll find out if you hang around awhile.