Seascape Part 1 (R ? for language) Star Trek Bigbang

[rip_the_tide]

                  It had started when Dr. Boyce had died in their last firefight, killed instantly by a bullet through the back of his neck, severing the spinal chord. Jim had never been able to convince the man to stay below and wait it out before he started caring for the wounded, that it was dangerous on deck and a dead doctor doesn’t do anyone

Comments

[zephtastic]

uh, just some errors I saw...

but it was one that Captain McCoy Tiberius Kirk of the good ship Enterprise
Pretty sure you meant Jim.

They certainly made a tidy little crew and they functioned as a team, clearly made a tidy little crew and they functioned as a team, clearly familiar with each other.

“Well we’d better not keep them waiting then, hadn’t we?”
The hadn't we is in the wrong tense and is just the wrong word all around. "Shall we" would work better.

Sorry for nitpicking, just trying to help.

[rip_the_tide]

Constructive criticism is always good and I thank you for it!
(and darn! I thought I had gotten all of those pesky Captain McCoy's)