So I have a $300 garage bill and a car that still won't start.
UPDATE:
This is what I've paid to have done.
-New battery (the old one froze up)
-New spark plugs (the old ones were dirty)
-Oil change (needed to happen anyway)
-Tow
This is what was not wrong with the car.
-Refer to list above
Disturbing. Looks as though it might be the alternator
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