CONVERSATIONS - What if...
Title: What if…
Rating:PG-13
Member/Pairing: Sho/OC
A/N : Sho’s conversation. I got inspired by the song What if by Babyface. For Juliena, thanks for allowing me to use your name. hang in there…
“Jules… it’s been a while… So… How are you?” he asked.
We sat by the café’s window. Our usual spot. It has indeed been a while. 5 years to be exact. I took a sip of my caffe latte before answering.
“I’m good. How about you?” I asked back.
“I don’t know.” He replied softly.
“What do you mean you don’t know? You have everything you’ve wanted.” I said.
He smiled a weak smile.
“Not everything Jules…”
“Awww… come on Sho-san… You’ve got your degree. You’re featured almost in every magazine there is. You’re doing News Zero. Your singles and album are on top of the chart not to mention I’ve read somewhere that you recently bought a house.” I said.
“It’s not everything I wanted. There’s something missing.”
“Really? What else could be missing from your near perfect life?”
“You…” he said in a whisper.
“Sho… I’m happy now. Let it be…”
“I know Jules and I’m glad for you… But there’s something in my heart that just would not let you go…”
“Sho… there’s nothing you can do about it. I have my own life right now. I’m happy. Why can’t you just be happy for me?”
“Jules… I can’t.”
“Why can’t you? You made the decision remember? Why can’t you just be happy for me? For what I have right now. Just the same way that I am happy for you.”
“You really are happy Jules?” he asked.
“Yes I am.” I replied softly.
“Jules… what if…”
“What if what?”
“What if we were wrong? What if we’re supposed to be together? What if you’re really supposed to be with me?” he asked.
“You asked me to let you go remember?”
“Jules… things were different before. I was just starting. I was still trying to prove myself.”
“ Yeah and you thought I would just be a burden right?”
“Juliena… I thought you understood that time?”
“I tried. My brain understood but my heart could not comprehend why it had to be that way.”
“Jules… what if we try it out one more time? What if we try to put everything back the way it used to be?”
“Sho… things will never be the same again.”
“Why not?”
“Because I’m married now.”
“I … I thought you were supposed to wait for me Jules…”
“I wanted to wait Sho… In fact I did wait. I waited for you to make your move 2 years ago. But waiting for you is like waiting for rain in the middle of a drought.”
“But… I’m here right now. I’m ready. I’ve come back.”
“There’s nothing left for you. There’s nothing for you to come back to Sho.”
“Jules… this isn’t fair…”
“You have the nerve to say that?”
“Then what the hell do you expect me to say Jules? That I’m just going to accept this? That it’s ok for me to see the girl I love run into the arms of someone else?”
“Sho… things are better for me right now. I have the job I’ve always wanted. I have someone who loves me unconditionally and… we’re having a baby. So please just be happy for me.”
“Jules… did you ever think that what if you’re married to me. That what if it’s my baby that you’re having. That what if…”
“You regret it Sho?” I cut him off.
“What?”
“Letting me go. You regret letting me go? You regret not contacting me since we saw each other at your concert 2 years ago?” I asked.
“Jules… I’m sorry.”
“If you do regret then it’s but right that you continue to think of the ‘what ifs’ that could have happened between us. Because those what ifs will remain ‘what ifs’.”
“Jules… everything I have right now is useless if I don’t have you to share it with me.”
“I’m sorry Sho… but everything that I have I already share it with someone else.”