Feminism of Teens in the Aughts and Other Touchy Subjects
The following is an excerpt from my Women's Studies textbook. The italics are the comments penciled in by the previous owner, who apparently has no sense of humor and does not understand the concept of satire.
From klaus barbie, and other dolls i'd like to see
By Susan Jane Gilman
Dinner Roll Barbie. A Barbie with multiple love handles, double chin, a real, curvy belly, generous tits and ass and voluminous thighs to show girls that voluptuousness is also beautiful. Comes with miniature basket of dinner rolls, bucket o' fried chicken, tiny Entenmann's walnut ring, a brick of Sealtest ice cream, three packs of potato chips, a T-shirt reading "Only the Weak Don't Eat" and, of course, an appetite. Eating too much is bad
Birkenstock Barbie. Finally, a doll made with horizontal feet and comfortable sandals. Made from recycled materials.
Bisexual Barbie. Comes in a package wtih Skipper and Ken.
Butch Barbie. Comes with short hair, leather jacket, "Silence = Death" T-shirt, pink triangle buttons, Doc Martens, pool cue and dental dams. Packaged in cardboard closet with doors flung wide open. Barbie Carpentry Business sold seperately. That just carries on the stereotype
Our Barbies, Ourselves. Anatomically correct Barbie, both inside and out, comes with spreadable legs, her own speculum, magnifying glass and detailed diagrams of female anatomy so that little girls can learn about their bodies in a friendly, nonthreatening way. Also included: tiny Kotex, booklets on sexual responsibility. Accessories such as contraceptives, sex toys, expanding uterus with fetus at various stages of development and breast pump are all optional, underscoring that each young woman has the right to choose what she does with her own Barbie. disgusting! Dolls are to play w/ not to teach sex ed!
Harley Barbie. Equipped with motorcycle, helmet, shades. Tattoos are non-toxic and can be removed with baby oil.
Body Piercings Barbie. Why should Earring Ken have all the fun? Body Piercings Barbie comes with changeable multiple earrings, nose ring, nipple rings, lip ring, navel ring and tiny piercing gun. Enables girls to rebel, express alienation and gross out elders without actually having to puncture themselves. great encourage holes in all body parts.
Blue Collar Barbie. Comes with overalls, protective goggles, lunch pail, UAW membership, pamphlet on union organizing and pay scales for women as compared to men they won't read them. Waitressing outfits and cashier's register may be purchased separately for Barbies who are holding down second jobs to make ends meet.
Rebbe Barbie. So why not? Women rabbis are on the cutting edge in Judaism. Rebbe Barbie comes with tiny satin yarmulke, prayer shawl, tefillin, silver kaddish cup, Torah scrolls. Optional: tiny mezuzah for doorway of Barbie Dreamhouse.
B-Girl Barbie. Truly fly Barbie in midriff-baring shirt and baggy jeans. Comes with skateboard, hip hop accessories and plenty of attitude. Pull her cord, and she says things like, "I don't think so," "Dang, get outta my face" and "You go, girl" good idea w/o the phrases. Teaches girls not to take shit from men and condescending white people. or authority!?! Bad idea
The Barbie Dream Team. Featuring Quadratic Equation Barbie (a Nobel Prize-winning mathematician with her own tiny books and calculator), Microbiologist Barbie (comes with petri dishes, computer and Barbie Laboratory) and Bite-the-Bullet Barbie, an anthropologist with pith helmet, camera, detachable limbs, fake blood and kit for performing surgery on herself in the outback eww noo.
Transgender Barbie. Formerly known as G.I. Joe. G.I. Jane would be good
Other scattered comments in the text include "OMG! so not true!" "You do not need to be rebellious to be a woman," and "What are those??" with an arrow pointing to an underlined "reproductive rights." Other comments have led me to believe (with good reason, I imagine) that this individual attended Catholic school.
What exactly are we teaching our children? Where is our generation going with this? It's like that comedy routine that Dimitri knows. "What's it going to be like in 50 years? 'Grandpa, what's a ho?' 'Well, your grandmother was a ho!'" It's days like these when I hate going to URI, but at the same time don't know if anywhere else would be less populated by the enormous 'ghetto-fab' portion of our generation. This morning I involuntarily rolled my eyes at an extremely white boy riding in a big SUV blasting pimped-out, bass-thumping rap shit while hanging out the window to check out the fine crowd of ladies outside Butterfield. He saw me and shouted, "Yeah, roll your eyes, you love it." My only regret was that I didn't think fast enough to give him the finger as well. Countless times a day I feel my walls start to shake and my eardrums start pounding to a cranked up mad fat beat as someone drives by. How is their hearing still intact? I'm in pain with two sets of walls and a hundred feet between us? No, this isn't really going anywhere, but it's my rant right now.
In other news, I read in the paper the other day that a judge in California ruled the Pledge of Allegiance as unconstitutional in public schools due to the "under God" phrase. The plaintiff of the case said "Imagine every morning if the teachers had the children stand up, place their hands over their hearts and say, 'We are one nation that denies God exists.'" I think this is a great point. We are meant to be a country of religious freedom, of seperation of church and state, and public schoolkids really shouldn't be forced to discuss God every morning. However, while this case seems to be gaining momentum, we have so many more problems about church and state that everyone seems to ignore. Why is it that seperation of church and state applies to the Pledge in public schools, but not in cases like gay marriage? Or abortion rights? Our country is leaning more and more to the stifling religious right in such extreme cases and all we can manage to fix is the wording of the Pledge? Everyone should read this website (http://www.reandev.com/taliban/) in its entirety, but I'll provide you with a few wonderful snippets first. These are real quotes from religious activists, political commentators, Republican politians, and our own dear Dubya.
"Don't use the word 'gay' unless it's an acronym for 'Got Aids Yet'" -Bob Dornan, Republican Representative, California
"There should be absolutely no 'Separation of Church and State' in America." -David Barton, religious figurehead
"Not only is homosexuality a sin, but anyone who supports fags is just as guilty as they are. You are both worthy of death." -Fred Phelps, Westboro Baptist Church
"I don't know that atheists should be considered citizens, nor should they be considered patriots. This is one nation under God." -George Bush Sr., former president
"When science and the Bible differ, science has obviously misinterpreted its data." -Henry Morris, Institute for Creation Research
"We don't have to protect the environment, the Second Coming is at hand." -James Watt, Secretary of the Interior, Reagan Administration
"Nobody has the right to worship on this planet any other God than Jehovah. And therefore the state does not have the responsibility to defend anybody's pseudo-right to worship an idol." -Joseph Morecraft, Chalcedon Presbyterian Church
"Just like what Nazi Germany did to the Jews, so liberal America is now doing to the evangelical Christians. It's no different...More terrible than anything suffered by any minority in history." -Pat Robertson, Christian Coalition
"Democracy originated in the mind of a rational being who has the deepest hatred for God." -Robert T. Lee, Society for the Practical Establishment of the Ten Commandments
I have no more muster for a conclusion. Imagine a good one yourself.