The Third Secret of the Fatima
(Because January 15 is Writing Real Life Person Slash about the Pope Day.)
This is the third secret of the Fatima.
Guilt has consumed Joseph Ratzinger for some time. This is the guilt of a man who served unwillingly as a Nazi soldier.
There are excuses for his actions because he took no actions of consequence.
Yet he has always felt that there are no excuses for his weakness. That he did not protest so loudly or so forcefully as he might. That he drifted within the system of oppression while his Commander-in-Chief murdered millions. For this he sees no excuse. For this he accepts no justification. For this there is only the nakedness of his soul before his God.
There was a boy. The boy's name was Adolf Ostendorp. He grew up in one of the neighborhoods where Joseph Ratzinger lived.
He was a homosexual.
On June 28, 1935, the Ministry of Justice declared the category of criminal homosexual activities to include all homosexual actions. The courts extended this to include intent and thought: homosexual activities, per se, were unnecessary. On April 4, 1938, it became acceptable to incarcerate homosexuals in the concentration camps.
Adolf Ostendorp believed himself homosexual. He spoke of himself as such. He thought homosexual thoughts.
He went to the concentration camps.
He wore a pink triangle.
He died.
For this reason Mr. Ostendorp is the face of Pope Benedict XVI's guilt. When he recalls the sins of his life the Pope thinks of Adolf Ostendorp: lean, sober, handsome, and dead.
It troubles the Pope.
It makes it difficult for him to perform his functions.
God forgives all but it is sometimes difficult for a man to accept forgiveness. It is hard for a man like Pope Benedict XVI to stand unworthy before his God.
In a private chapel the Pope is naked. He has set aside his hat. He has set aside his rich red and gold robes. He is plump and he has wrinkles. He is like a peach pit after the consumption of the peach.
He is praying.
He is troubled.
He says: "The world will suffer if I am not strong and good. That is why I must set an example. That is why we must cling to doctrine and tradition in these times."
The Pope is naked to humble himself before his God.
His hands are bound together in prayer.
He says: "There is no source for good but God. That is why it is so important that we cling to God. But I am afraid."
He looks up.
"I am afraid, Lord, because I am possessed of the sin of man, and I am not a suitable vehicle for this goodness."
The heart of the Pope aches.
The image of Adolf Ostendorp stands before him in his mind. Adolf has turned his back on Joseph Ratzinger. He stands tall. He is proud. He is wearing the uniform of the camps.
Adolf Ostendorp rejects the humility of the Pope.
He rejects the grief and he rejects the guilt.
"There is no repentance for this," his hard back seems to say.
But this is not the dead man Mr. Ostendorp. This is not God. This is a daydream born of the Pope's own guilt.
We know this because as the Pope prays there is a light. It is white and it is searing. It fills the chapel. It blinds him.
In that light there is Adolf Ostendorp's spirit.
He descends from Heaven and he is wrapped in the filmy white robes of an angel and he is more pure and more handsome than in the memories of Pope Benedict XVI.
Adolf takes the hands of the Pope.
He says, gently, "Dear Joseph, we are all weak."
And the Pope is crying.
And Adolf Ostendorp, as strong and young and powerful as ever, embraces the Pope's naked form. He holds him tightly.
He says, "It is forgiven."
The pain of that forgiveness is unbearable. It is too much guilt to release all at once. It is like a knife in Joseph Ratzinger's heart.
It is beautiful but he cannot put words to it.
"It can't," says the Pope. "I can't---"
But Adolf Ostendorp insists.
His hands are warm on the back of the Pope. His robes have faded away. He is lean and hard and powerful.
And the Pope feels himself reacting. He feels his penis swelling and his testicles growing tight.
Shame burns the Pope's cheeks.
He pulls away. But it is only slowly that the hug of Adolf Ostendorp relaxes. It is only slowly that he can pull himself away.
And Adolf Ostendorp's eyes are clean and bright and full of God's love, and he says, "No, no, Joseph, you do not understand, it is forgiven."
And the Pope sees that the love of God is hard for him.
He sees that there is a drop of milky white on the tip of the penis of Adolf Ostendorp.
"You were tortured to death," says the Pope.
"God makes it right," young Adolf says.
And through the Vatican great bells begin to ring and doves take flight, and everywhere in Rome the hearts of men are turning towards Heaven.
The Pope comes forward then to worship at the altar. He gives pleasure to Mr. Ostendorp with his mouth. When he looks up it is a miracle to see the tightness and the joy on Adolf's face.
But gently, so gently, Adolf Ostendorp pushes him away.
"Is this a miracle?" asks the Pope. "Is this a miracle sent to me by the beloved Christ?"
"It is," says Adolf Ostendorp.
He turns the Pope around.
He frees the Pope to flight.
This is the third secret of the Fatima.
Guilt has consumed Joseph Ratzinger for some time. This is the guilt of a man who served unwillingly as a Nazi soldier.
There are excuses for his actions because he took no actions of consequence.
Yet he has always felt that there are no excuses for his weakness. That he did not protest so loudly or so forcefully as he might. That he drifted within the system of oppression while his Commander-in-Chief murdered millions. For this he sees no excuse. For this he accepts no justification. For this there is only the nakedness of his soul before his God.
There was a boy. The boy's name was Adolf Ostendorp. He grew up in one of the neighborhoods where Joseph Ratzinger lived.
He was a homosexual.
On June 28, 1935, the Ministry of Justice declared the category of criminal homosexual activities to include all homosexual actions. The courts extended this to include intent and thought: homosexual activities, per se, were unnecessary. On April 4, 1938, it became acceptable to incarcerate homosexuals in the concentration camps.
Adolf Ostendorp believed himself homosexual. He spoke of himself as such. He thought homosexual thoughts.
He went to the concentration camps.
He wore a pink triangle.
He died.
For this reason Mr. Ostendorp is the face of Pope Benedict XVI's guilt. When he recalls the sins of his life the Pope thinks of Adolf Ostendorp: lean, sober, handsome, and dead.
It troubles the Pope.
It makes it difficult for him to perform his functions.
God forgives all but it is sometimes difficult for a man to accept forgiveness. It is hard for a man like Pope Benedict XVI to stand unworthy before his God.
In a private chapel the Pope is naked. He has set aside his hat. He has set aside his rich red and gold robes. He is plump and he has wrinkles. He is like a peach pit after the consumption of the peach.
He is praying.
He is troubled.
He says: "The world will suffer if I am not strong and good. That is why I must set an example. That is why we must cling to doctrine and tradition in these times."
The Pope is naked to humble himself before his God.
His hands are bound together in prayer.
He says: "There is no source for good but God. That is why it is so important that we cling to God. But I am afraid."
He looks up.
"I am afraid, Lord, because I am possessed of the sin of man, and I am not a suitable vehicle for this goodness."
The heart of the Pope aches.
The image of Adolf Ostendorp stands before him in his mind. Adolf has turned his back on Joseph Ratzinger. He stands tall. He is proud. He is wearing the uniform of the camps.
Adolf Ostendorp rejects the humility of the Pope.
He rejects the grief and he rejects the guilt.
"There is no repentance for this," his hard back seems to say.
But this is not the dead man Mr. Ostendorp. This is not God. This is a daydream born of the Pope's own guilt.
We know this because as the Pope prays there is a light. It is white and it is searing. It fills the chapel. It blinds him.
In that light there is Adolf Ostendorp's spirit.
He descends from Heaven and he is wrapped in the filmy white robes of an angel and he is more pure and more handsome than in the memories of Pope Benedict XVI.
Adolf takes the hands of the Pope.
He says, gently, "Dear Joseph, we are all weak."
And the Pope is crying.
And Adolf Ostendorp, as strong and young and powerful as ever, embraces the Pope's naked form. He holds him tightly.
He says, "It is forgiven."
The pain of that forgiveness is unbearable. It is too much guilt to release all at once. It is like a knife in Joseph Ratzinger's heart.
It is beautiful but he cannot put words to it.
"It can't," says the Pope. "I can't---"
But Adolf Ostendorp insists.
His hands are warm on the back of the Pope. His robes have faded away. He is lean and hard and powerful.
And the Pope feels himself reacting. He feels his penis swelling and his testicles growing tight.
Shame burns the Pope's cheeks.
He pulls away. But it is only slowly that the hug of Adolf Ostendorp relaxes. It is only slowly that he can pull himself away.
And Adolf Ostendorp's eyes are clean and bright and full of God's love, and he says, "No, no, Joseph, you do not understand, it is forgiven."
And the Pope sees that the love of God is hard for him.
He sees that there is a drop of milky white on the tip of the penis of Adolf Ostendorp.
"You were tortured to death," says the Pope.
"God makes it right," young Adolf says.
And through the Vatican great bells begin to ring and doves take flight, and everywhere in Rome the hearts of men are turning towards Heaven.
The Pope comes forward then to worship at the altar. He gives pleasure to Mr. Ostendorp with his mouth. When he looks up it is a miracle to see the tightness and the joy on Adolf's face.
But gently, so gently, Adolf Ostendorp pushes him away.
"Is this a miracle?" asks the Pope. "Is this a miracle sent to me by the beloved Christ?"
"It is," says Adolf Ostendorp.
He turns the Pope around.
He frees the Pope to flight.