I never thought about it like that. The safeword being as much for the dom's protection as the sub's, I mean.
I always imagined that the a sub wouldn't have much of a leg to stand on legally, if they decided they were being abused by their dom. How does one get up on the stand and say "he kidnapped me and beat me", if one allows oneself to be tied up and beaten as part of the relationship in the first place? Especially with such a misunderstood and reviled thing as bdsm.
I have always had mixed feelings about safewords. They seem to defeat the purpose, which to me personally is to have absolutely no control over the scene. This has never happened to me, by the way. I have always retained the power to say stop and have it respected. It would require a great deal of trust for me to allow someone else to retain complete control, and I'll admit, that is something I would like to experience someday.
I seem to have gone off on a tangent. Sorry about that.
I am not sure I understand. Surely, if I have a safeword, I have control over the situation, in the sense that I can stop the spanking (to use that as an example). If we agree not to have a safeword, I don't, because he can stop whenever he wants, regardless of my wishes.
I dabble in D&s sexually, it isn't a lifestyle for me, so I realise there is a great deal I don't understand about the dynamics of a real D&s relationship.
I think it's fun to debate the ins and outs of this subject, and reading elf's post was quite enlightening.
But for me the bottom line is: Why should one stay anywhere they don't want to be anymore? Even if the dom is 'protecting them from making a mistake' - people need to make their own mistakes. One must wonder - if I trust someone else more than myself what does this say ultimately about the relationship I have with myself?
But, as usual, my ideas are probably not in line with most Master/slave lifestylers because I place a high value on individual independance. And interdependance, while useful and necessary, isn't as important to me as self-preservation.
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I always imagined that the a sub wouldn't have much of a leg to stand on legally, if they decided they were being abused by their dom. How does one get up on the stand and say "he kidnapped me and beat me", if one allows oneself to be tied up and beaten as part of the relationship in the first place? Especially with such a misunderstood and reviled thing as bdsm.
I have always had mixed feelings about safewords. They seem to defeat the purpose, which to me personally is to have absolutely no control over the scene. This has never happened to me, by the way. I have always retained the power to say stop and have it respected. It would require a great deal of trust for me to allow someone else to retain complete control, and I'll admit, that is something I would like to experience someday.
I seem to have gone off on a tangent. Sorry about that.
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(The comment has been removed)
I dabble in D&s sexually, it isn't a lifestyle for me, so I realise there is a great deal I don't understand about the dynamics of a real D&s relationship.
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
But for me the bottom line is: Why should one stay anywhere they don't want to be anymore? Even if the dom is 'protecting them from making a mistake' - people need to make their own mistakes. One must wonder - if I trust someone else more than myself what does this say ultimately about the relationship I have with myself?
But, as usual, my ideas are probably not in line with most Master/slave lifestylers because I place a high value on individual independance. And interdependance, while useful and necessary, isn't as important to me as self-preservation.
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
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