"don't give up the fight. you will be alright cause there's no one like you in the universe."

[riversabine]

I'm in such a weird place right now. The waiting place. I've been held there for years, probably since I came home from London. No one's keeping me there but myself for continually believing the lie-- that I'm not worthy of the things I really want. That sounds horribly dramatic, but it's sadly true. My more grounded self went on an interview

Comments

[painted_dreams]

Oh boy do I know exactly where you are at right now... I'm in the same place unfortunately...

I've been looking for stand in jobs as well.

I am going to apply to be a 911 operator because the pay is good and the hours will allow me to continue with school full-time.

Maybe you should look into something like that where you are at.

I wanted to get my Master's in England but unfortunately won't be able to afford it but before I start the Masters program I'm thinking about work in England or Ireland for a few months.

[riversabine]

It's such a strange sort of limbo. I'm not sure what I should do. I know that I can do day care, but it comes down to the pay. I want to be able to pay off my undergraduate student loans and save money if I do indeed go to grad school in England. We'll see what happens when they call me tomorrow. I remember reading a while ago that you were interested in becoming a police officer, so the 911 operator job sounds like a cool opportunity in the service field.

You should totally work abroad... what an awesome experience that would be. Maybe you could even look into doing an internship? That's one thing that I wish I had done as an undergrad.

[painted_dreams]

Imagine all the things we could be free to do if money didn't play such a huge importance in life. When I was looking into grad school in England I found the fulbright scholarship, it pays for pretty much everything but I do believe there are select schools in which you can attend

[riversabine]

I know, right? To think of all of the time we as a society spend working... it scares me to imagine spending so much of my life working for something that I don't really care about. I want to avoid that at all costs; I want to be invested in my career, whatever it may be

[trendycafe]

London changes life, doesn't it? I am at where you were. At it is so exciting and i want to remind you of that excitement. Take the risk and do what you love! You'll never know until you try. Perhaps I am being a tad idealistic, but I am doing just that. I have decided that for the summer, I am only applying to internships in London - not giving myself any back up options. I'm putting what i have into it, and we'll see what happens. Hopefully my optimism won't fail me. Good luck and remember what London and the world outside of StL (if you are still there) has to offer!

[riversabine]

Definitely. I always had a vague notion of London, but when I actually arrived, it was like coming home. It really was the first time I knew what life could be outside the insular safety of my family and this suburb. That I actually thrive without it. I think you're right; I won't be satisfied until I really give it a try.

That's so awesome, Wendy. I wish you the best of luck with the internships:)

[rainyseason]

Hey you. I understand about being scared, I am too. My new job is kicking my butt a little. It's not hard but it means being confronted and challenged by people and I really have to stand my ground

[riversabine]

Hey sweetie:) It's totally scary, but so far it sounds like your new position has been a good thing