(no subject)
Have you ever had a moment of insecurity that makes you want to ask everyone you thought was your friend why they don't like you anymore? Have you ever wanted to cry, just because you can't stand the loneliness? There are moments when I feel like everyone I ever cared about just keeps betraying me and it's stupid. But it feels like... it feels like my family hates me and my friends don't want to know me.
This is as low as I've gotten in a while. I have a good job now and I'm going to be moving out soon. I can pay rent and pay my bills and still have money to eat. I'll be able to get internet and cable and maybe even afford to buy a new computer. With luck, I'll be able to buy a car. I have all this going for me and now is when my depression decides to act up? jesus. I'm so tired of this.
when did I start letting my depression affect my writing though? I used to be able to write through anything. I don't like having my one outlet for my feelings taken away from me. I feel so bottled up, but every time I try to write, I get stuck.
Unfortunately, I think I actually understand why. Friends befriending people who've hurt me. Friends sticking up for the people who hurt me. And that makes me wonder how they've honestly felt about me this whole time. Maybe I just need to disappear off the face of the internet. Obviously no one wants me around.
This is as low as I've gotten in a while. I have a good job now and I'm going to be moving out soon. I can pay rent and pay my bills and still have money to eat. I'll be able to get internet and cable and maybe even afford to buy a new computer. With luck, I'll be able to buy a car. I have all this going for me and now is when my depression decides to act up? jesus. I'm so tired of this.
when did I start letting my depression affect my writing though? I used to be able to write through anything. I don't like having my one outlet for my feelings taken away from me. I feel so bottled up, but every time I try to write, I get stuck.
Unfortunately, I think I actually understand why. Friends befriending people who've hurt me. Friends sticking up for the people who hurt me. And that makes me wonder how they've honestly felt about me this whole time. Maybe I just need to disappear off the face of the internet. Obviously no one wants me around.