I did a lot of reading of my past entries today.  There was so much about Tim.  Why can't it just work out?  Holy crap!!  Four years, countless times of us liking the other but not having the feelings returned, and giving up.  I refuse to give up.  i love him.  I always have and I always will.  I have a huge weak spot for him.  I just wish I could ( Read more... )

All that I have wanted in the last three and a half years is to be able to call Tim mine.  Two weeks ago tomorrow was the best day of my life, so far.  Since then it seems like everything has just gotten worse.  There is so much tension now because I want to see him so badly, but he is so busy that he doesn't have time to.  On top of that he just ( Read more... )

Well, I was just reading some of my old journal entries and let me sum it up for you in one word: gay.  Haha.  Sad that I am saying that about myself, but it is so true.  Geez.  What did I ever see in Devon?  Or all my other loser friends for that matter...How did I have fun?!  Holy crap.  The only thing about my very first entries that are the ( Read more... )

I haven't posted an entry in here in a long time.  I guess cuz I am so busy working.  Well I was promoted, that's good I guess though I don't really do anything else except open or close.  I mean, I am a manager.  Anyways, not a whole lot else going on.  I'm very excited to move up to Flagstaff, but I'll miss my mom a lot.  Oh well.  Garrett and I ( Read more... )

Haven't updated this in quite awhile.  Nothin much going on here.  Everyone is starting school this week and moving and whatnot.  It's really slightly depressing to see everyone leave.  In a way I wish I were going away for college, but who am I kidding?  I don't have that kinda money.  Nor do I want to move far from everyone.  I want to stay right ( Read more... )

So I like Garrett and I think he likes me? I can't ever tell when a guy likes me because I am..just guy stupid. But ya, I think he does. But I would feel bad about Sam. And I don't want to happen to us what happened to Kyle and I. Even though Garrett is totally different from Kyle. I mean, he is at least mature and acts his own age....but ugh ( Read more... )

So pretty much I have given up on Kyle. haha Four months later. He is just lame and rude and he is not fun. He acts all nice around me when I come in to eat food and I have friends with me, but he ignores me all the time when we work together. I am just so tired of his bullshit. Plus he told me about a month ago that he wouldn't be working at ( Read more... )

Why do we have the lottery? I mean that in all seriousness. Sure the lottery increases the standard of life in America because people are hopeful that they will "win big". But what are the chances they will win? It's seriously like a 1 in 12 billion chance. Before you say, "there isn't even that many people in the country", that isn't what ( Read more... )

I'm so tired of feeling this crappy every freakin day. It really needs to stop. And I really need to stop having the dreams I do. I'm tired of seeing his face everytime I close my eyes. I don't know why I feel like this. I've never felt this way before after a break up. I just want to start school and get busy with that and work and forget ( Read more... )

Well...it's been a whole month since Kyle broke up with me. It still hurts a lot and I really don't see myself having improved on getting over him. In fact, I think it's gotten worse. Every night I dream about him, no joke. Sometimes I dream we're just friends, sometimes I dream that we get back together, sometimes I dream that I can't stand ( Read more... )