Merlin's beard, it's a crossover!
With the encouragement from petitecuriosity and damigella_314 here is a short House M.D./Harry Potter crossover fic.
Characters: House, Mr & Mrs Weasley.
Summary: Just another day in the clinic.
Rating: G
Warning: I haven't written anything in eight months.
House opened the door to exam room one and noticed, in order of observation, the red hair, the matching knitted clothing, the polite smile on the face of the man sitting on the edge of the bed, and the disapproving look the woman was giving this man.
House's first patient for the day. His mind was already on lunch.
"Hello, sir," the man said, too cheerfully for anyone who'd normally be waiting to see a doctor. House wheeled the stool towards him by the top of his cane and sat down.
"What's the problem?" he asked, outdoing himself with the level of cheer in his own voice.
"No problem, really. I'm here for one of those checkups. My wife and I have been travelling. We've come from France and Romania, second honeymoon of sorts. We were taking in the local... wildlife. We did a lot of running. And, well, I'm not getting any younger."
This man - House glanced down at the empty blue folder - Arthur Weasley, smiled good naturedly at him. "Uh huh," House said, turning around and pushing himself over to the side cabinet. "I don't need the whole story."
Mr Weasley dared to glance at his wife who was standing with her arms folded, not at all amused.
House turned back, slinging a stethoscope around his neck, and pulling over a tray with other instruments including an otoscope and reflex hammer.
Mr Weasley gasped, "Is that one of those stettacoppa devices?"
House paused and raised an eyebrow, silently scrutinising him. Mr Weasley's smile faded, and Mrs. Weasley coughed, quickly stepping in. "He's joking of course."
House checked heart, lungs, ears, reflexes, and was just taking his blood pressure when Mr Weasley spoke. "So... I believe afterwards I receive some sort of sweet or lolly. Isn't that the custom?"
House looked up at this man and over to the wife. He expected to see her looking worried for her husband's sanity but she hadn't flinched at all.
House returned his attention to his patient. "It is my medical opinion that I should admit you for a brain MRI scan." He watched for his response. There was only silence. Mr Weasley fought hard not to ask what that was.
Mrs Weasley moved forward. "If you could be so kind as to excuse us for just a moment. There's something personal I wish to discuss with my husband."
Rarely had House ever been so reluctant to step outside.
As a precaution, Mrs Weasley quickly cast the imperturbable charm at the door.
"Molly, is that really necessary?" Mr Weasley asked as she hid her wand back inside her cardigan.
"We shouldn't be here," she said shortly. "Two seconds in and that Healer is already suspicious of you. We might as well have just stood out there and shouted it out."
Mr Weasley murmured something inaudible.
"What's that?" she asked.
"Doctors. Muggles call them Doctors, Molly."
She tutted. "What if the ministry finds out? Our family isn't exactly in the good books after George and Percy's last little stunt."
"I'm owed a few favours in the ministry, don't worry. Besides, nothing is going to happen."
Mrs Weasley still looked concerned.
"Alright, let's go," Mr Weasley sighed, but then smiled. "We can still pop into Salem on our way home if you like." He hopped off the bed and Molly smiled too, relaxing a little.
Mr Weasley opened the door. "Sorry for wasting your time," he said to House who was waiting right outside. "We'll be on our way." He went to move past him but House blocked his way.
"Your behaviour could be a symptom of something else but your wife isn't saying anything. She's not worried, which means this is completely normal for you. So the question is: who are you?"
Mr Weasley was caught at what to say. He looked down at this man's cane, thinking quickly, and was reminded fleetingly of Scrimgeour.
He shrugged and patted House on the shoulder. "No one important."
The pair moved away from him. House watched them walk outside the front of the hospital and out of the way of the people coming and going. They talked for a moment before they took each other's hand and then...
House took a step forward, blinking in shock. The people who were walking outside carried on as normal. No one else had noticed two people disappearing into thin air.