Fate; Take me to Heaven
♠ Fate; Take me to Heaven
♠ Romance, Drama, Angst
♠ YunJae, HoSu, YooSu
♠ A story of love, friendship, greed and betrayal.
If people were to ask me one thing that I wanted most in my life; it would be to be able to continue watching this man's back forever.
Chapter 1: Fate; Take me to Heaven
Everyone wanted to become Kim JaeJoong.
Some wanted to have him.
He was told this fact over and over again from when he was in middle school when his features had started to develop. People never failed to take note of his white and fair complexion on his smooth and delicate skin. Then he has that pair of big eyes, always distant, always reserved that most of the time, he was misunderstood as snob and aloof. His lips were naturally pinkish and protruded enough that kissing it was almost irresistible.
Nobody really got to be real good friends with him. Some of them were too afraid to approach him and most of them were satisfied just watching him from afar. If asked, they would say that Kim JaeJoong was like someone, unreachable as the stars that they have no other choice but to just watch it and admire it. But deep, deep within those pair of light brown orbs was the hidden tenderness that he was keeping unintentionally. He was just never the one to open up a conversation to anyone and most of the time, his mouth works faster than his brain and his words were sometimes not really what he wanted to say.
However, what most people didn’t know was that Kim Jaejoong-the man everyone wanted-was just the same as them: someone who couldn’t get just the one person he needed.
♠ • ♥ • ♦ • ♣
“Good morning Jaejoong-ah. You look extremely glowing today. I can see you shining from down the hall.” A squeaky, light-spirited boy said as he dropped his bag on the table and sat beside his best friend with a toothy-grin across his face.
“Good morning to you too, Junsu-yah.” Jaejoong greeted as he smiled back to that contagious grin his friend was giving him. When Junsu settled beside him, he turned back to read his notes to prepare for what might be a pop quiz before the class. “And I don’t glow.” He added, eyes fixed on his notebook.
Junsu dropped his head on the table and it looked like his bright morning smile immediately turned into what seemed to be a frown as he let his eyes wander around the huge lecture hall of his physiology subject-watching as his classmates arrive in groups or pairs, rarely alone. “I envy you.” Junsu murmured, a pout forming on his lips. “You get to be that handsome and beautiful at the same time without doing much about it.”
“Eh?” Jaejoong said as he laughed slightly and closed his notes. “Junsu, what are you saying?” he continued, his attention focused on Junsu’s sullen face.
Junsu scowled deeper, as he looked sideways at his seatmate. “Hey, it’s true! While I was at the rain this morning, there were these two guys who were talking about you and how many times have I told you that there were always people talking about you everywhere. Seriously, it feels like you were haunting me everywhere I go.”
“How do you know it’s me? There’s like 7-20 people in the university who shares my name.” Jaejoong fought the urge to roll his eye at his best friend.
“There may be a hundred people in Seoul who has the same name as yours, but there could only be this one person…” Junsu said as he poked Jaejoong on the chest, “who could capture people’s hearts with ease.” Junsu said his toothy-grin immediately coming back to his face as he saw his friend pout. “They said they really wanna go out with you. Like, really, REALLY want to date you. And I did catch them saying that a man who would say he doesn’t find you attractive is someone not born in this universe.”
“I note the exaggeration there, Su-ah.” Jaejoong said, as he laughed loudly and shifted in his seat, eyes immediately traveling to the certain person sitting in the far front seat of the lecture room.
He has repeated it to himself almost a million times with the same words, the same tone, and the same emotion but even if he decided to repeat it again for another million times he still wouldn’t be able to actually do it. I need to stop staring at his broad back. I need to stop paying attention to that tiny crease on his left collar. I need to stop smiling at his beautiful laugh. I need to stop dreaming of his beautiful hands. I need to stop… stop… stop… stop-
“Jae!”
Jaejoong almost jumped on his seat when the person he was staring at suddenly turned around and called him almost too loud, he felt the hall shook.
“And didn’t you know Jung Yunho looks like he has the hots for you.” Junsu whispered as he watched his friend glared at him and kick his foot under the table.
Yunho was hurriedly walking to their seat and pushed Jaejoong closer to Junsu so he could fit himself on the chair. “How about a drink at the pub later tonight? Everything is on me.”
“Eh? But don’t we have an exam on Monday?” Jaejoong said.
“It’s Friday today, Mister. That leaves you with the whole weekend to drown your brain with your books. You gotta have fun too once in a while.”
“But-“
“Don’t worry, Yunho-shi. Jaejoong will come.” Junsu said as he smiled at Yunho and snickered at his glaring friend.
“Really? Oh, how about you-uhm… come with us too?” Yunho said as he looked at Junsu’s eyes, heart taking a leap when he saw the excitement in them.
“For real? Awesome! Now Jaejoong will definitely come.” Junsu exclaimed too loud that the professor who just came in looked at him.
♠ • ♥ • ♦ • ♣
Four years was a long enough time for Jaejoong to develop such emotions for his friend. At first, he thought he was just smitten temporarily by the fragrance of Yunho’s perfume the first time the taller man stumbled on the doorway and almost slammed the dorm room’s door right at Jaejoong’s face. That time, Yunho apologized a lot of times to Jaejoong and the latter thought it was so cute how this bigger man in front of him was apologizing like a little kid just because he shut the door right on Jaejoong’s face with no intention of doing so.
Right after that incident, the roommates became closer, almost exchanging notes, taking care of each other, mistaking one’s thing to be the other’s and all those things just because they have stayed in the same four-walled room for those long four years. They even have spent a holiday together one time when there was a never ending snow storm in Korea.
It felt like during the time Jaejoong was growing, Yunho has been in the big part of it. Jaejoong convinced himself that he has just spent so much time with Yunho, that he has developed this infatuation. Besides, everyone doesn’t seem to have the courage to approach JaeJoong and Yunho just happened to be the first one who did thus, the unfamiliar attraction. However, as the days went by he felt that this infatuation isn’t going anywhere-that the infatuation turned out to be more intense and the next thing he knew, he was already in love.
It is also common that Kim Jaejoong receives compliment about his good looks but unless it was from his roommate who told him he looked super stunning during their first night out at the pub, he wouldn’t be thrilled at all. He enjoys every little bit of flirting Yunho does whenever they were at the pub. Because only during that time can Jaejoong have an excuse as to why he was wearing such alluring façade and dancing oh-so-seductively in the middle of the room, one hand running all over his body and the other holding a half-filled Percival’s sister.
Yunho would always be overprotective of his roommate; so much that once he saw some unfamiliar hands coming near Jaejoong’s skin, he would immediately cover Jaejoong with his body, grinding, enveloping, hissing as if they were having sex right there on the dance floor. It has been his natural reaction all the time and it wasn’t just one time that someone tried to make a move on him.
Yunho would tell JaeJoong that he was a terrible dancer but the way he moves was enough to turn on some perverts so he better be careful. Too drunk with the alcohol he had, Jaejoong would frow and tap his roommate’s face saying do I get yours up, hm, Yunho-ah? It wasn’t that he was too drunk to think but instead, he was too drunk to have enough confidence to say that to Yunho. And instead of jumping at his drunk friend right there and then, Yunho would drag Jaejoong out of the pub and drive the two of them back to the dorm.
In all those years, Yunho had figured that JaeJoong gets extra seductive when drunk and that he became too persistent to get what he wanted. Yunho decided that JaeJoong should instead be brought back to the dorm before things get out of hand.
The pub escapade became so common that almost twice a week they get themselves wasted. But one night marked the end of Jaejoong’s seduction when there was this familiar face who took the highlight.
Kim Junsu.
At first Jaejoong thought it wasn’t the same Kim Junsu who he grew up with but he recognized the voice, the face and that plump butt to ever miss out his childhood classmate. Also, ever since that night, Jaejoong regretted ever approaching Junsu-he regretted ever introducing Junsu to Yunho-he ever regretted going to that pub-he regretted having those feelings for Yunho, because that night he witnessed how Junsu’s perfect dancing skills attracted Yunho, he witnessed how Junsu effortlessly drew Yunho to dance with him.
Right before Jaejoong’s eyes he witnessed how good Yunho would have been during sex. The way he thrusts, he grinds, he pants were clear enough demonstrations. And that same night, when Jaejoong was throwing up all the alcohol he’s had, he heard Yunho’s voice panting and groaning to his friend’s name. The said friend too busy to realize what he has done to Jaejoong’s Yunho and how unintentionally, he stole what Jaejoong had tried so hard to keep to himself.
Just like any other nights since that night that Yunho and Junsu first met, Jaejoong found himself sitting by the counter and watching as Yunho and Junsu get lost in their own little world. “I see, Kim Jaejoong isn’t taking the spotlight?”
Jaejoong turned to the bartender and frowned.
“I’m Yoochun. Park Yoochun. I was in the same music class as yours.” The guy introduced himself.
“Eh?” Jaejoong said as he put the glass he was holding on the counter and bowed at Yoochun. “I’m sorry for not recognizing you. I’m Kim Jaejoong by the way.”
Yoochun laughed and dismissed Jaejoong’s bows. “It’s okay. Your friend Junsu wouldn’t stop talking about you.”
“Ah~” Jaejoong smiled shyly. “Junsu wouldn’t stop talking about anything even if it’s not me.” Jaejoong said as he shared a laugh with the young bartender.
“I see you here quite often.”
“Only during Fridays when that guy there gets tired of his week and wants to take a drink and dance.” Jaejoong said. “Can you pass me another shot of this, please?”
“Sure.” Yoochun said as he worked his way in the bar, tossing and shaking containers.
“How long have you been working here?” Jaejoong asked as he watched how Yoochun swiftly shook and mixed his drink.
“About a year and a half. My shift is normally Saturdays but the bartender for tonight couldn’t make it so I had to fill in for him.”
“I see, tough job during weekends, right?” Jaejoong said as he nodded at Yoochun who handed him his cocktail.
“They seem to be close.” Yoochun said as he looked at the laughing couple on the dance floor.
“Yea. I don’t know how much but if it’s inside this pub it feels like they have their own world."
“I can tell.” Yoochun said as he laughed lightly before some other customers asked him for a drink. “I have to prepare some more drinks. Will you be fine here?”
“Yea. Sure. I might go home anyway. I couldn’t sit still when I know I have an exam to study for.”
“Oh, then take care on your way back.”
“Thanks.” Jaejoong said as he drank his glass in one go and took time to savor the slitting sensation of the alcohol down his throat.
Screw exams. Jaejoong just had enough of just watching by the side while two of his friends, one-the best friend; and the other-the wanted lover; were busying themselves. He was ranting in his head how YunHo only invited him to come along so he had a reason to be with junsu and it infuriates him how Yunho was using him. Without saying goodbye, Jaejoong went out of the pub and walked back to the dorm… alone.
♠ • ♥ • ♦ • ♣
It was half past midnight when the door opened and that time Jaejoong was already sleeping. He only had to wake up when he heard Yunho in the bathroom throwing up what seemed like his whole week’s meal. After the long sound of gagging, Jaejoong heard the shower. Right after Yunho finished his shower and had sobered up a little, Jaejoong felt his bed creak. Soon after he felt Yunho’s breath on his nape. “Junsu is so beautiful, isn’t he, Jae?”
Jaejoong pretended to be asleep, trying so hard to even out his breathing.
“I think I have fallen in love with him.” Yunho said as he kissed Jaejoong’s shoulder murmuring Junsu, Junsu, Junsu~ until he fell asleep.
And while he was off to his dreamland and enjoying his time with Junsu there, Jaejoong was left sleepless that night, body stiff from the heavy arm around him, and heartbroken from the occasional praises of beauty and love whispered directly to his ear but not actually for his heart.
Character Profile | Smile, it confuses people.
AN: this chapter was revised on 5-17-2012.
♠ Romance, Drama, Angst
♠ YunJae, HoSu, YooSu
♠ A story of love, friendship, greed and betrayal.
If people were to ask me one thing that I wanted most in my life; it would be to be able to continue watching this man's back forever.
Chapter 1: Fate; Take me to Heaven
Everyone wanted to become Kim JaeJoong.
Some wanted to have him.
He was told this fact over and over again from when he was in middle school when his features had started to develop. People never failed to take note of his white and fair complexion on his smooth and delicate skin. Then he has that pair of big eyes, always distant, always reserved that most of the time, he was misunderstood as snob and aloof. His lips were naturally pinkish and protruded enough that kissing it was almost irresistible.
Nobody really got to be real good friends with him. Some of them were too afraid to approach him and most of them were satisfied just watching him from afar. If asked, they would say that Kim JaeJoong was like someone, unreachable as the stars that they have no other choice but to just watch it and admire it. But deep, deep within those pair of light brown orbs was the hidden tenderness that he was keeping unintentionally. He was just never the one to open up a conversation to anyone and most of the time, his mouth works faster than his brain and his words were sometimes not really what he wanted to say.
However, what most people didn’t know was that Kim Jaejoong-the man everyone wanted-was just the same as them: someone who couldn’t get just the one person he needed.
♠ • ♥ • ♦ • ♣
“Good morning Jaejoong-ah. You look extremely glowing today. I can see you shining from down the hall.” A squeaky, light-spirited boy said as he dropped his bag on the table and sat beside his best friend with a toothy-grin across his face.
“Good morning to you too, Junsu-yah.” Jaejoong greeted as he smiled back to that contagious grin his friend was giving him. When Junsu settled beside him, he turned back to read his notes to prepare for what might be a pop quiz before the class. “And I don’t glow.” He added, eyes fixed on his notebook.
Junsu dropped his head on the table and it looked like his bright morning smile immediately turned into what seemed to be a frown as he let his eyes wander around the huge lecture hall of his physiology subject-watching as his classmates arrive in groups or pairs, rarely alone. “I envy you.” Junsu murmured, a pout forming on his lips. “You get to be that handsome and beautiful at the same time without doing much about it.”
“Eh?” Jaejoong said as he laughed slightly and closed his notes. “Junsu, what are you saying?” he continued, his attention focused on Junsu’s sullen face.
Junsu scowled deeper, as he looked sideways at his seatmate. “Hey, it’s true! While I was at the rain this morning, there were these two guys who were talking about you and how many times have I told you that there were always people talking about you everywhere. Seriously, it feels like you were haunting me everywhere I go.”
“How do you know it’s me? There’s like 7-20 people in the university who shares my name.” Jaejoong fought the urge to roll his eye at his best friend.
“There may be a hundred people in Seoul who has the same name as yours, but there could only be this one person…” Junsu said as he poked Jaejoong on the chest, “who could capture people’s hearts with ease.” Junsu said his toothy-grin immediately coming back to his face as he saw his friend pout. “They said they really wanna go out with you. Like, really, REALLY want to date you. And I did catch them saying that a man who would say he doesn’t find you attractive is someone not born in this universe.”
“I note the exaggeration there, Su-ah.” Jaejoong said, as he laughed loudly and shifted in his seat, eyes immediately traveling to the certain person sitting in the far front seat of the lecture room.
He has repeated it to himself almost a million times with the same words, the same tone, and the same emotion but even if he decided to repeat it again for another million times he still wouldn’t be able to actually do it. I need to stop staring at his broad back. I need to stop paying attention to that tiny crease on his left collar. I need to stop smiling at his beautiful laugh. I need to stop dreaming of his beautiful hands. I need to stop… stop… stop… stop-
“Jae!”
Jaejoong almost jumped on his seat when the person he was staring at suddenly turned around and called him almost too loud, he felt the hall shook.
“And didn’t you know Jung Yunho looks like he has the hots for you.” Junsu whispered as he watched his friend glared at him and kick his foot under the table.
Yunho was hurriedly walking to their seat and pushed Jaejoong closer to Junsu so he could fit himself on the chair. “How about a drink at the pub later tonight? Everything is on me.”
“Eh? But don’t we have an exam on Monday?” Jaejoong said.
“It’s Friday today, Mister. That leaves you with the whole weekend to drown your brain with your books. You gotta have fun too once in a while.”
“But-“
“Don’t worry, Yunho-shi. Jaejoong will come.” Junsu said as he smiled at Yunho and snickered at his glaring friend.
“Really? Oh, how about you-uhm… come with us too?” Yunho said as he looked at Junsu’s eyes, heart taking a leap when he saw the excitement in them.
“For real? Awesome! Now Jaejoong will definitely come.” Junsu exclaimed too loud that the professor who just came in looked at him.
♠ • ♥ • ♦ • ♣
Four years was a long enough time for Jaejoong to develop such emotions for his friend. At first, he thought he was just smitten temporarily by the fragrance of Yunho’s perfume the first time the taller man stumbled on the doorway and almost slammed the dorm room’s door right at Jaejoong’s face. That time, Yunho apologized a lot of times to Jaejoong and the latter thought it was so cute how this bigger man in front of him was apologizing like a little kid just because he shut the door right on Jaejoong’s face with no intention of doing so.
Right after that incident, the roommates became closer, almost exchanging notes, taking care of each other, mistaking one’s thing to be the other’s and all those things just because they have stayed in the same four-walled room for those long four years. They even have spent a holiday together one time when there was a never ending snow storm in Korea.
It felt like during the time Jaejoong was growing, Yunho has been in the big part of it. Jaejoong convinced himself that he has just spent so much time with Yunho, that he has developed this infatuation. Besides, everyone doesn’t seem to have the courage to approach JaeJoong and Yunho just happened to be the first one who did thus, the unfamiliar attraction. However, as the days went by he felt that this infatuation isn’t going anywhere-that the infatuation turned out to be more intense and the next thing he knew, he was already in love.
It is also common that Kim Jaejoong receives compliment about his good looks but unless it was from his roommate who told him he looked super stunning during their first night out at the pub, he wouldn’t be thrilled at all. He enjoys every little bit of flirting Yunho does whenever they were at the pub. Because only during that time can Jaejoong have an excuse as to why he was wearing such alluring façade and dancing oh-so-seductively in the middle of the room, one hand running all over his body and the other holding a half-filled Percival’s sister.
Yunho would always be overprotective of his roommate; so much that once he saw some unfamiliar hands coming near Jaejoong’s skin, he would immediately cover Jaejoong with his body, grinding, enveloping, hissing as if they were having sex right there on the dance floor. It has been his natural reaction all the time and it wasn’t just one time that someone tried to make a move on him.
Yunho would tell JaeJoong that he was a terrible dancer but the way he moves was enough to turn on some perverts so he better be careful. Too drunk with the alcohol he had, Jaejoong would frow and tap his roommate’s face saying do I get yours up, hm, Yunho-ah? It wasn’t that he was too drunk to think but instead, he was too drunk to have enough confidence to say that to Yunho. And instead of jumping at his drunk friend right there and then, Yunho would drag Jaejoong out of the pub and drive the two of them back to the dorm.
In all those years, Yunho had figured that JaeJoong gets extra seductive when drunk and that he became too persistent to get what he wanted. Yunho decided that JaeJoong should instead be brought back to the dorm before things get out of hand.
The pub escapade became so common that almost twice a week they get themselves wasted. But one night marked the end of Jaejoong’s seduction when there was this familiar face who took the highlight.
Kim Junsu.
At first Jaejoong thought it wasn’t the same Kim Junsu who he grew up with but he recognized the voice, the face and that plump butt to ever miss out his childhood classmate. Also, ever since that night, Jaejoong regretted ever approaching Junsu-he regretted ever introducing Junsu to Yunho-he ever regretted going to that pub-he regretted having those feelings for Yunho, because that night he witnessed how Junsu’s perfect dancing skills attracted Yunho, he witnessed how Junsu effortlessly drew Yunho to dance with him.
Right before Jaejoong’s eyes he witnessed how good Yunho would have been during sex. The way he thrusts, he grinds, he pants were clear enough demonstrations. And that same night, when Jaejoong was throwing up all the alcohol he’s had, he heard Yunho’s voice panting and groaning to his friend’s name. The said friend too busy to realize what he has done to Jaejoong’s Yunho and how unintentionally, he stole what Jaejoong had tried so hard to keep to himself.
Just like any other nights since that night that Yunho and Junsu first met, Jaejoong found himself sitting by the counter and watching as Yunho and Junsu get lost in their own little world. “I see, Kim Jaejoong isn’t taking the spotlight?”
Jaejoong turned to the bartender and frowned.
“I’m Yoochun. Park Yoochun. I was in the same music class as yours.” The guy introduced himself.
“Eh?” Jaejoong said as he put the glass he was holding on the counter and bowed at Yoochun. “I’m sorry for not recognizing you. I’m Kim Jaejoong by the way.”
Yoochun laughed and dismissed Jaejoong’s bows. “It’s okay. Your friend Junsu wouldn’t stop talking about you.”
“Ah~” Jaejoong smiled shyly. “Junsu wouldn’t stop talking about anything even if it’s not me.” Jaejoong said as he shared a laugh with the young bartender.
“I see you here quite often.”
“Only during Fridays when that guy there gets tired of his week and wants to take a drink and dance.” Jaejoong said. “Can you pass me another shot of this, please?”
“Sure.” Yoochun said as he worked his way in the bar, tossing and shaking containers.
“How long have you been working here?” Jaejoong asked as he watched how Yoochun swiftly shook and mixed his drink.
“About a year and a half. My shift is normally Saturdays but the bartender for tonight couldn’t make it so I had to fill in for him.”
“I see, tough job during weekends, right?” Jaejoong said as he nodded at Yoochun who handed him his cocktail.
“They seem to be close.” Yoochun said as he looked at the laughing couple on the dance floor.
“Yea. I don’t know how much but if it’s inside this pub it feels like they have their own world."
“I can tell.” Yoochun said as he laughed lightly before some other customers asked him for a drink. “I have to prepare some more drinks. Will you be fine here?”
“Yea. Sure. I might go home anyway. I couldn’t sit still when I know I have an exam to study for.”
“Oh, then take care on your way back.”
“Thanks.” Jaejoong said as he drank his glass in one go and took time to savor the slitting sensation of the alcohol down his throat.
Screw exams. Jaejoong just had enough of just watching by the side while two of his friends, one-the best friend; and the other-the wanted lover; were busying themselves. He was ranting in his head how YunHo only invited him to come along so he had a reason to be with junsu and it infuriates him how Yunho was using him. Without saying goodbye, Jaejoong went out of the pub and walked back to the dorm… alone.
♠ • ♥ • ♦ • ♣
It was half past midnight when the door opened and that time Jaejoong was already sleeping. He only had to wake up when he heard Yunho in the bathroom throwing up what seemed like his whole week’s meal. After the long sound of gagging, Jaejoong heard the shower. Right after Yunho finished his shower and had sobered up a little, Jaejoong felt his bed creak. Soon after he felt Yunho’s breath on his nape. “Junsu is so beautiful, isn’t he, Jae?”
Jaejoong pretended to be asleep, trying so hard to even out his breathing.
“I think I have fallen in love with him.” Yunho said as he kissed Jaejoong’s shoulder murmuring Junsu, Junsu, Junsu~ until he fell asleep.
And while he was off to his dreamland and enjoying his time with Junsu there, Jaejoong was left sleepless that night, body stiff from the heavy arm around him, and heartbroken from the occasional praises of beauty and love whispered directly to his ear but not actually for his heart.
Character Profile | Smile, it confuses people.
AN: this chapter was revised on 5-17-2012.