(Untitled)

[rk_sawyer]

Money grows on supple arms
On trees in special money farms;
Their names heed no mark:
Silly things, like Iran - Iraq-
Blood on hands is oil in palms.

Comments

[meelijane]

Wow, I like this - didn't know you were passionate about it? Well, I assumed, but wasn't sure.

Third and fourth lines are a bit strange in terms of rhythm but nothing bad enough to make me not like it or anything.

[rk_sawyer]

Their names heed no mark:
Silly things: Iran, Iraq-"

?

[meelijane]

Yup.. The rhythm is a bit weird as a couplet

[rk_sawyer]

No, I mean is that better?

It makes the second line iambic.

The first line literally doesn't have any rhythm; each syllable is stressed. It is also significantly shorter in terms of syllables. Hm.

[anonymous]

Well I for one say Irak with a short 'a' sound and a sharp 't' sound so the poem doesnt even rhyme for me. But I'm half seppo so I dont even count.

Quick question:
Do you write acrostic poetry? cos I do occasionally...uh huh. G'night y'all!