I drove alone today for the first time ever! Go me! I drove to and from school. They were about 10 hours apart. In between, I was at school at 85 Prescott St. The first four-and-a-half were spent actually having classes, and the other time was spent either eating, waiting for a computer, or sitting in front of a computer writing a Mathematica ( Read more... )

I got some mail today from a pretty good college. Dad would have wanted me to call Grandpa and tell him about it. He also would have wanted to know about the prom.

I haven't done this since 4th grade. I might have missed two days in a row, but I don't think I've ever missed three since I was in 4th grade. I really needed to. On Wednesday night, I fell asleep at 5:30 and I was still depressed during the day on Thursday. I went to bed at 9 last night, but I didn't fall asleep until 11, and that was with a ( Read more... )

What is wrong with me? I'm so exhausted, but I can't sleep. Whenever I try to go to sleep, all I can think about is Grandpa. I can't help it, either. The things that people said at the funeral today are all in my head, and there's no way of letting go. I'm going downstairs to sleep with the cat ( Read more... )

What a great time I've had. I don't know when I fell asleep last night. I woke up at 7 and was surprised that I actually had fallen asleep. We left for the funeral around noon. I couldn't believe that it was my grandpa that the funeral was for until I saw the sign that read "Sumner L. Horwitz". The people who showed up were mostly my Dad's ( Read more... )

Fuck you, God. I had to say that. Why did you have to give him lung cancer? You could have killed Osama bin Laden and tens of other terrorists, but you chose to take away Grandpa Tim. You could have let him live at least to see me graduate from High School. I was sure that he's live to see great-grandchildren. If you exist, God, then Fuck You ( Read more... )

I hate this world. There's got to be something better

That's the other half of the story that I didn't know until around 7:30 last night. He won't be living in his apartment anymore since he needs someone there all the time. He won't live at my house, even though we an extra room because he wants independence. This morning, my parents went over to his apartment, which is about an hour away, and got ( Read more... )

Thank you, God. I'm not going to become an observant Jew unless you completely heal Grandpa by tonight no later than 9:30, but I will stop telling you to fuck yourself, unless you do something worse to my grandpa than hospitalizing him. Maybe you exist, maybe you don't. This is just in case you do ( Read more... )

Less than 17 hours to go