But what sort of enlightenment is required to stop unknowingly marrying sick people or avoiding premature death?
...as someone with a major chronic illness (which did, in fact, develop after my marriage), I'd hate to think that if my husband had been more enlightened, he wouldn't have married me. :(
I feel like a jerk even bringing this up, Robin, because I really and truly know you didn't mean anything nasty by it! But it's just something to consider when you're looking at the issue: would all of those relatives actually choose to lose the marriages they have, to the partners they have, just to avoid the hassle and stress of the chronic illnesses? Or are they getting other, more important things, out of those partnerships that balance the difficulties
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You bring up an excellent point and perspective! And as someone who also developed a chronic illness (also after marrying--in fact, I think it is the same one you suffer from) I understand exactly what you're saying. I think in some cases it is exactly as you say--people with illness are lucky enough to find someone who is strong and compassionate enough to be a supportive partner.
Unfortunately, in the particular family I was thinking of, this isn't the case. The spouses have pretty much seen it as a cross to be borne, and it has greatly curtailed their life choices, some not even able to have children because of it.
Although as I write that, I'm wondering if that might be exactly the lesson they are supposed to learn: how to get more humble and grateful and learn those skills...
Which is what makes all this so fascinating to me.
I am hugely sorry I caused you a moment of ouch. As you say, that was never my intent...
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But what sort of enlightenment is required to stop unknowingly marrying sick people or avoiding premature death?
...as someone with a major chronic illness (which did, in fact, develop after my marriage), I'd hate to think that if my husband had been more enlightened, he wouldn't have married me. :(
I feel like a jerk even bringing this up, Robin, because I really and truly know you didn't mean anything nasty by it! But it's just something to consider when you're looking at the issue: would all of those relatives actually choose to lose the marriages they have, to the partners they have, just to avoid the hassle and stress of the chronic illnesses? Or are they getting other, more important things, out of those partnerships that balance the difficulties ( ... )
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You bring up an excellent point and perspective! And as someone who also developed a chronic illness (also after marrying--in fact, I think it is the same one you suffer from) I understand exactly what you're saying. I think in some cases it is exactly as you say--people with illness are lucky enough to find someone who is strong and compassionate enough to be a supportive partner.
Unfortunately, in the particular family I was thinking of, this isn't the case. The spouses have pretty much seen it as a cross to be borne, and it has greatly curtailed their life choices, some not even able to have children because of it.
Although as I write that, I'm wondering if that might be exactly the lesson they are supposed to learn: how to get more humble and grateful and learn those skills...
Which is what makes all this so fascinating to me.
I am hugely sorry I caused you a moment of ouch. As you say, that was never my intent...
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