Con Behavior: Clues for Free

[rm]

The following is a list of things I should never, ever have to say. As someone who attends many, many cons for professional and personal reasons, it should be noted that I, in fact, almost never have to say them.

Yet, every single one of the issues raised below transpired at this year's Lunacon (either to me directly or as reported to me by

Comments

[londo]

• It is not appropriate to imply that the way you conduct your relationship(s) is the best way and that everyone else should follow your example.
  
• It is not appropriate to insult other people's lifestyle choices.

How can you say these, and then say half the other things on this list?

[rm]

Asking people to be clean and follow common courtesy and asking people not to say "polyamory/kink/homosexuality/etc" is immoral are, in fact, two different things.

I do not subscribe to the belief that rudeness is a lifestyle choice.

[nellorat]

Ha! My immediate assumption was that some poly people were playing "more evolve than thou" to monogamous people, not the reverse. (We're a triad, but I'm very sensitive to condescension to monogamy.)

[rm]

I witnessed both sneering at kink in general (as opposed to sneering at kink being done in an inappropriate location) and monogamous people being given grief.

[thatwordgrrl]

If you want to hold hands with your partner(s), hug your partner(s) or kiss your partner(s) in a non-We-Are-About-To-Do-The-Humpty-Hump fashion while out in public, I simply don't care.

If you want to flog your partner(s), engage in bondage play with your partner(s) or play=pierce your partner(s) while out in public -- in a space not designated for such activities -- I do care.

Because the key phrase in all of this is *in a space not designated for such activities*

I am deliberatly being quite nonspecific as to the sexual orientation/gender/number of parter(s).

Ghods, I am repeating all of my objections to OpenSourceBoobFail'08 all over again...

[womzilla]

While I don't object to the idea you've outlined, broadly, I will say a few things

[thatwordgrrl]

First, if the reaction of the majority of onlookers is "Dudes, get a room!" yeah, you lose. Majority wins in that instance

[womzilla]

First, let me say that my use of the words "fun and ennobling" should not be taken as an endorsement of that ProjectThatCanDevourEntireLJs. I think it was a comprehensively dumb idea. It might have been clearer if I had said something like "have gotten it into their dumb heads that it would be fun and ennobling to...", which is more reflective of my actual position

'I do not subscribe to the belief that rudeness is a lifestyle choice."

[griffen]

Okay, that's it. You win the shiny internets this year. All of them.

Re: 'I do not subscribe to the belief that rudeness is a lifestyle choice."

[quaryn_dk]

Yup, I second that. Made of win.

[flaviarassen]

I subscribe to the belief that rudeness is a lifestyle choice (unlike
homosexuality, which is not a choice but a state of being), but
since rudeness actually impacts me (which poly/kink/whatever
does NOT), then I do have the right to do something about it.

(snark mode OFF)

[winterknight]

Compare two statements:

-- Please stop trying to masturbate your companion to orgasm in the hall.
-- I don't know how you can call that a marriage, it's an insult to everyone who actually TRIES at their relationship.

That's how RM can say those and say half the other things on the list.

[londo]

I object to the fact that someone can tell me not to insult other people's lifestyle choice, not to mock other people's lifestyle choice (religious garb) or to tell people that their lifestyle choice is inferior (relationship style), or to tell people that their current status should be more pleasing to me (how to stand or smile), and that my personal aesthetic preferences are not facts, and then tell me to put on some fucking shoes.

[filkerdave]

It was qualified with "in an eatery" above.

(Me, I'd much rather wear shoes when wandering around public areas, but that's me)

[londo]

How does that arbitrary requirement make it okay?

I sure as hell wouldn't let someone get away with "gay couples can hold hands in public, but not while I'm eating."

[tsarina]

It's generally speaking not an arbitrary requirement - look up your local health code rules and regulations, as well as OSHA.