So many Stalkers!
Stalkers are twats. A cautionary tale from roa_aoife.
kuranrohaen is stalking roa_aoife
kuranrohaen’s REAL name :
Mcallister Cullen
kuranrohaen’s REAL DOB :
10th July 1980
Height :191 cm
Weight : 98.5 kg
kuranrohaen has dreamt about you :
23 times
kuranrohaen became interested in you :
08th August 2004
kuranrohaen’s latest dream about you
kuranrohaen dreamt that you had got married to another person. kuranrohaen produced a shotgun at the ceremony, blowing off your partners head before they could complete their vows with a close-range shot.
This is how kuranrohaen describes your relationship behind your back
‘I hate her. I lost 12 months of my life thanks to roa_aoife. And now it’s fucking payback time.’
kuranrohaen’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
Your cat didn’t run away roa_aoife, kuranrohaen is holding it captive!
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
kuranrohaen has tattooed their mental image of your genetalia onto their upper forearm.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
Words cannot express what you mean to me. I want us to be together forever. Do you fancy becoming siamese twins? My mother says she’ll pay for the operation. Apparently such a procedure has a 20% success rate. I’d do anything for our love, wouldn’t you?
The Police
No. calls to the police :
9 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"I’ve had enough of this. You know kuranrohaen, that crazed internet stalker you’ve been after for the last 6 months, well they’ve been stalking me too. They were just over at my house there not so long ago and threatened to come back and burn down my house."
kuranrohaen’s Police File
There is every possibility that kuranrohaen is a living incarnation of Satan.
Testimonies about kuranrohaen
sp_artist - Geek isn’t the word
‘Dear God! I knew kuranrohaen was a right thieving bastard but I didn’t know they were such a skank. roa_aoife is a bit of a sucker really.’
jasperess - Dull O Dull
‘All of this is incredibly funny. It goes to show how deluded roa_aoife really is. I just wish it’d quit the act now and again. It grows a bit tiresome after a while.’
dumpsterhoe - Naked Meglomaniac
‘Fucking hell! This is hilarious for all the wrong reasons. roa_aoife should really be in hospital receiving X-rays to the head.’
Stalked again, a rant by roa_aoife.
dumpsterhoe is stalking roa_aoife
dumpsterhoe’s REAL name :
Lew Black
dumpsterhoe’s REAL DOB :
04th June 1983
Height :194 cm
Weight : 128.0 kg
dumpsterhoe has dreamt about you :
19 times
dumpsterhoe became interested in you :
17th September 2004
dumpsterhoe’s latest dream about you
dumpsterhoe dreamt that you had got married to another person. dumpsterhoe produced a shotgun at the ceremony, blowing off your partners head before they could complete their vows with a close-range shot.
This is how dumpsterhoe describes your relationship behind your back
‘I don’t want to be just good friends. I want to be with her forever. To death to us part and all that.’
dumpsterhoe’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
dumpsterhoe has stolen your DVD recorder and will only return it once they receive a tongue kiss from you.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
dumpsterhoe has roa_aoife tattooed right across their chest.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
Hug me. Kiss me. Fuck me.
The Police
No. calls to the police :
28 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Police! I need your assistance, someones trying to climb in through my window. It’s a stalker I met off the internet. They’ve been harassing me for months now. I can’t walk down the street without them following me. Come quickly and make sure you bring a couple of baseball bats. I could do with beating this fucker into submission."
dumpsterhoe’s Police File
dumpsterhoe can be quite pleasant when it’s not trying to gouge peoples eyes out with a plastic fork.
Testimonies about dumpsterhoe
kuranrohaen - A spouse-beating alco
‘dumpsterhoe was always one of us. One of the gang. We never suspected anything. I’m really shocked..’
elenrod - An overly camp drama queen
‘I always thought dumpsterhoe was a good kid. A bit shy but with a kind heart. How wrong was I?’
jasperess - The resident slapper
‘I’m sure if you were to look up useless in the dictionary you would see a picture of dumpsterhoe right beside the definition.’
orominuialwen - Lord of the Irn-Bru
‘It’s odd, I’ve known some weird fucks in my time and dumpsterhoe and roa_aoife would definitely top that list.’
Stalked again, a rant by roa_aoife.
katelyn_alyce is stalking roa_aoife
katelyn_alyce’s REAL name :
Effie Pimblett
katelyn_alyce’s REAL DOB :
23rd January 1983
Height :151 cm
Weight : 63.8 kg
katelyn_alyce has dreamt about you :
29 times
katelyn_alyce became interested in you :
16th December 2002
katelyn_alyce’s latest dream about you
You are working in an ice cream parlour. katelyn_alyce approaches the counter and asks for a whipped vanilla cone. You step out from behind the counter brandishing a leather whip in full BDSM gear.
This is how katelyn_alyce describes your relationship behind your back
‘Things are going great! it still won’t kiss me though in public. it will once I stop calling her in the middle of the night.’
katelyn_alyce’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
katelyn_alyce has stolen all of your baby-photos.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
katelyn_alyce had their nipples pierced to show you the true depths of their neverending love for you.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
Marry me darling. Move in with me. I will do your laundry. I will raise the children! I will do anything to be your soulmate. Do you need a hip? How about a new set of teeth? Anything that is mine will soon be yours.
The Police
No. calls to the police :
14 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Hi, police? Yeah, I’d like to report a crime. Some mad fuckers just shovelled shit into our mailbox. I think it’s this person I know from the internet called katelyn_alyce. Yeah, real mad son of a bitch. Can’t seem to understand that I just don’t like ‘em."
katelyn_alyce’s Police File
It is only a matter of time before we encover a mass of decomposed bodies within katelyn_alyce’s refridgerator.
Testimonies about katelyn_alyce
raverbear314 - A spouse-beating alco
‘You think you know a person and then something like this comes out of the blue. Fuck that, I’m becoming a recluse.’
kuranrohaen - A daring kleptomaniac
‘To be honest I think roa_aoife and katelyn_alyce deserve each other. Both of them are fucking idiots.’
dumpsterhoe - Spaced out junkie
‘I’ve known them both for a long time and I can safely say I’ve never met such a pair of nutjobs in my life. All of these claims are bullshit.’
bebopfaye - Snorts Lucozade tablets
‘Ahhh none of this is new to me. roa_aoife’s been telling me about katelyn_alyce’s antics for ages now. I don’t honestly know why it has put up with it for so long.’
LJ stalking horror - a report by Roa_aoife.
roninmodern is stalking Roa_aoife
roninmodern’s REAL name :
Kisha Bastendorf
roninmodern’s REAL DOB :
13th July 1971
Height :150 cm
Weight : 76.5 kg
roninmodern has dreamt about you :
3 times
roninmodern became interested in you :
08th June 2004
roninmodern’s latest dream about you
You are stranded with roninmodern on a deserted island and your stalker is trying to coax you towards sex by hoarding all of the food and refusing to give you any until you give in to their wishes.
This is how roninmodern describes your relationship behind your back
‘Roa_aoife thinks we are just friends! Ha! I’m moving in for the kill!’
roninmodern’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
roninmodern was seen parading around town with Roa_aoife’s missing beret.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
roninmodern had their nipples pierced to show you the true depths of their neverending love for you.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
If I can’t have you, nobody can darling. I’d advise you to committ these words to memory.
The Police
No. calls to the police :
28 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Look, could you send a squad car over? It’s just that there is this person outside my house rumaging through my garbage and they’ve been doing it every night for the past month. They seem to have some weird obsession over me. Please hurry. I think they’ve just found one of my bank statements as they’ve just ran off again."
roninmodern’s Police File
15 years of continual drug abuse has taken it’s toll on roninmodern’s psyche. Unstable and a potential threat to society.
Testimonies about roninmodern
raverbear314 - Suicidal wreck
‘roninmodern was always one of us. One of the gang. We never suspected anything. I’m really shocked..’
katelyn_alyce - Fathers goats
‘I can’t believe what I’m hearing! roninmodern a stalker? Well I suppose it makes sense actually. That bastard had really shifty eyes…’
elenrod - Worships the sun
‘I used to love roninmodern. This news has broke my heart. I feel like beating the shit out of that bastard, seriously. What a dick.’
bebopfaye - Wide-load
‘roninmodern’s obsession with breastfeeding should have acted as an insight into their warped mind. I can’t believe I overlooked it for so long. Jesus.’
roa_aoife is being stalked on Livejournal!
raverbear314 is stalking roa_aoife
raverbear314’s REAL name :
Vasquez Head
raverbear314’s REAL DOB :
03rd January 1985
Height :166 cm
Weight : 55.1 kg
raverbear314 has dreamt about you :
21 times
raverbear314 became interested in you :
30th March 2004
raverbear314’s latest dream about you
You are on a golfcourse with raverbear314 and your tormentor is showing you kinky new ways to make use of the putter.
This is how raverbear314 describes your relationship behind your back
‘We are just really good friends at the moment. I’d honestly cut off my arm to be with them though’
raverbear314’s been stealing stuff from your house too.
raverbear314 enjoys munching on your toenail clippings that they once hoked out of your bin late one evening.
They’ve even started modifying their body for you
In the past year raverbear314 has spent their entire life savings on cosmetic surgery in an attempt to look more like you.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
God want’s us to be together. He told me last night. He said that if you refute my love than I have the right to scald you with piping hot tap water.
The Police
No. calls to the police :
6 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Police!?!? raverbear314’s in my backyard again stealing clothes off of our washing line. This is the 10th time in a week for fucks sake."
raverbear314’s Police File
raverbear314 has connections with the Church of Satan, The Communists and the IRA. It’s only a matter of time before they are responsible for a major terorrist attack on our country.
Testimonies about raverbear314
sp_artist - Stone dead tripper
‘To be honest there was always something about raverbear314 that gave me the creeps. Gave off a really weird smell. Almost like a decomposing racoon.’
katelyn_alyce - Car wreck of a human
‘I’m completely fucking gutted to hear about all of this. I always liked raverbear314. Are you sure you’re accusing the right person?’
dumpsterhoe - Ex-priest
‘All of this is incredibly funny. It goes to show how deluded roa_aoife really is. I just wish it’d quit the act now and again. It grows a bit tiresome after a while.’
bebopfaye - Mixes vodka with Whiskey
‘Uncool and unhip raverbear314 is just plain shit!’