Another use for duct tape

[roadkillmary]

Over the past few months I have found myself in several situations where I have unfortunately had to hang out with people that for some reason either (and many times it is a combination of the following

Comments

[zoobar]

While duct tape is a good idea, the heft of a roll and their general size make it a bit cumbersome to carry around--especially if it is girls night out and you are carrying a small, yet fashionable purse.

I suggest groin kicking. It's an equal opportunity deterrent. After all, no matter what kinda junk you have between your legs, nobody like having it kicked. An added bonus is, if it is girls night out and you are wearing cute shoes, more people will be able to see said cute shoes and compliment you not only on your kicking maneuver but your stylish attire.

[roadkillmary]

considered this.

I really did.

but, I'm trying to go with a more non-violent method, though pain is still involved with the duct tape.

Hmmm. Maybe I could look for something less bulky.

Maybe something like oh, crazy glue. Diguise it to make it look like chapstick

but then I'd have to be careful, I'd most likely glue my own lips together (granted I occasionally deserve it.)

[zoobar]

well yes, given your pacifistic nature and upbringing I grant you groin kicking is a bit more violent than you would prefer. However I do believe I present a strong argument for groin kicking in the numerous complements you could receive as a result. In it's defense as a violent act, condiser this: kicking hard enough to provide pain but soft enough as not to cause reproductive damage.

Should you still find groin kicking unacceptable I present this option for jackass containment: a casually spilled drink. This method requires you to pay special attention to your location relative to the jackass's location but when the offending comment is uttered, all you have to do is "accidentally" spill a drink (preferably their drink) on them and viola! They will have to remove themselves to towel off.

As added insult, you may use this time tomove your pleasant group to a new table or venue.

[roadkillmary]

I like it.

I could also go simple. Juvenile. Go to their level. Yell something like:

"Oh yeah, well, you're ugly."