I'm only slightly ashamed of this.
I might have accidentally written Sherlock/John fanfic with a friend via text.
It might assuage your post-Reichenbach trauma.
It all started with the joke text from me to her...
To: John Watson
I'm not hungry. Let's have dinner.
SH
To: Sherlock Holmes
...but why would you want to have dinner if you're not hungry? -JW
To: John Watson
The implication was sex, John. I thought you ordinary people liked your trite little euphemisms.
To: Sherlock Holmes
...oh. Okay. That's...fine. Er. Chinese, then? -JW
To: John Watson
Oh, and I expect that you want me to take you to the cinema afterwards? Honestly, John, have some imagination.
SH
To: Sherlock Holmes
...shall I expect to find you naked on the kitchen table, then? -JW
To: John Watson
Yes.
SH
To: Sherlock Holmes
Be home in twenty. -JW
To: John Watson
Make it ten. It'll be worth your while.
SH
To: John Watson
Could be dangerous.
SH
To: Sherlock Holmes
On my way. You are a bad man, Sherlock Holmes. -JW
To: John Watson
Also, out of milk.
SH
To: Sherlock Holmes
Hang the milk. Tesco will take more than ten minutes. -JW
To: John Watson
Only if you get into a row with the pin machine. Again.
SH
To: Sherlock Holmes
THAT ONLY HAPPENED TWICE! -JW
To: John Watson
Irrelevant. Do hurry up, John. I'm growing bored.
SH
To: Sherlock Holmes
Oh, well, if you're bored, I can always take care of myself. -JW
To: John Watson
JOHN. You know that's not what I meant! You're brilliant! You're amazing!
SH
To: Sherlock Holmes
Damn right I am. And I'll be up these stairs to prove it about...now. -JW
To: Sherlock Holmes
That was...amazing. Went to get milk while you're asleep. Mrs. Hudson will probably have kittens over the carpet. -JW
To: John Watson
Speaking of, do not forget to replace the jam we used.
SH
To: Sherlock Holmes
Yes, yes--Shit. It's a bloody black car. Your brother smirks his greetings. Don't wait up for tea. -JW
To: John Watson
Mycroft...how tedious. You may pass on my greetings. Your revolver may facilitate these.
SH
To: Sherlock Holmes
It is, unfortunately, still in your possession. Seems the new diet is less than successful. Am debating oversharing my favorite flavor lube. -JW
To: John Watson
Should you decide to do so, please send a photo of his face.
SH
To: Sherlock
Anthea made me delete it.
Aaaaannnd, that's where we quit.
It might assuage your post-Reichenbach trauma.
It all started with the joke text from me to her...
To: John Watson
I'm not hungry. Let's have dinner.
SH
To: Sherlock Holmes
...but why would you want to have dinner if you're not hungry? -JW
To: John Watson
The implication was sex, John. I thought you ordinary people liked your trite little euphemisms.
To: Sherlock Holmes
...oh. Okay. That's...fine. Er. Chinese, then? -JW
To: John Watson
Oh, and I expect that you want me to take you to the cinema afterwards? Honestly, John, have some imagination.
SH
To: Sherlock Holmes
...shall I expect to find you naked on the kitchen table, then? -JW
To: John Watson
Yes.
SH
To: Sherlock Holmes
Be home in twenty. -JW
To: John Watson
Make it ten. It'll be worth your while.
SH
To: John Watson
Could be dangerous.
SH
To: Sherlock Holmes
On my way. You are a bad man, Sherlock Holmes. -JW
To: John Watson
Also, out of milk.
SH
To: Sherlock Holmes
Hang the milk. Tesco will take more than ten minutes. -JW
To: John Watson
Only if you get into a row with the pin machine. Again.
SH
To: Sherlock Holmes
THAT ONLY HAPPENED TWICE! -JW
To: John Watson
Irrelevant. Do hurry up, John. I'm growing bored.
SH
To: Sherlock Holmes
Oh, well, if you're bored, I can always take care of myself. -JW
To: John Watson
JOHN. You know that's not what I meant! You're brilliant! You're amazing!
SH
To: Sherlock Holmes
Damn right I am. And I'll be up these stairs to prove it about...now. -JW
To: Sherlock Holmes
That was...amazing. Went to get milk while you're asleep. Mrs. Hudson will probably have kittens over the carpet. -JW
To: John Watson
Speaking of, do not forget to replace the jam we used.
SH
To: Sherlock Holmes
Yes, yes--Shit. It's a bloody black car. Your brother smirks his greetings. Don't wait up for tea. -JW
To: John Watson
Mycroft...how tedious. You may pass on my greetings. Your revolver may facilitate these.
SH
To: Sherlock Holmes
It is, unfortunately, still in your possession. Seems the new diet is less than successful. Am debating oversharing my favorite flavor lube. -JW
To: John Watson
Should you decide to do so, please send a photo of his face.
SH
To: Sherlock
Anthea made me delete it.
Aaaaannnd, that's where we quit.