Why I'm Not A Football Coach...
If I were a football coach and completely lost my conscience and sense of fair play (which is pretty much a prerequisite for the job), on our first punt of the game, I'd have the punter kick it high to get a lot of hangtime, to force the opposition into a fair catch. Then, while the returner is looking up at the ball and signaling for fair catch, I'd have my gunners hit the bejeezus out of him.
In exchange for a 15 yard penalty, I'd get a scared punt returner who would be hearing footsteps every time the ball went near him. Just one botched catch or miscue would make the original penalty worth it. (This is, of course, completely ignoring the fact that I'd be endangering a kid's career and life in exchange for a small advantage in a game - which is where the whole "lack of a conscience" thing comes in.)
I watched the first Purdue football game of the year in a Buffalo Wild Wing's in Green Bay. They have two large screens side-by-side, and the waitress set it up so the Purdue/Toledo game was on one, and the Cards/Reds game was on the other. She got a large tip. Both games turned out as as well as they possibly could, with Purdue unleashing a Chorizo-esque total domination of Toledo, and the Cardinals likewise handled the Reds, 11-3, to inexplicably and unbelievably remain in the NL Central pennant race.
This weekend I'm making my way to sunny West Lafayette, Indiana for the first Purdue home game of the year. I can't wait.
In exchange for a 15 yard penalty, I'd get a scared punt returner who would be hearing footsteps every time the ball went near him. Just one botched catch or miscue would make the original penalty worth it. (This is, of course, completely ignoring the fact that I'd be endangering a kid's career and life in exchange for a small advantage in a game - which is where the whole "lack of a conscience" thing comes in.)
I watched the first Purdue football game of the year in a Buffalo Wild Wing's in Green Bay. They have two large screens side-by-side, and the waitress set it up so the Purdue/Toledo game was on one, and the Cards/Reds game was on the other. She got a large tip. Both games turned out as as well as they possibly could, with Purdue unleashing a Chorizo-esque total domination of Toledo, and the Cardinals likewise handled the Reds, 11-3, to inexplicably and unbelievably remain in the NL Central pennant race.
This weekend I'm making my way to sunny West Lafayette, Indiana for the first Purdue home game of the year. I can't wait.