Trials and Tangents
It's a terrible thing, this having gotten old thing. For example, my days are filled with thoughts like, Did I leave the Iron on, Is that a scratch on my new table, and Will [insert name of] Street help me avoid the bulk of the rush hour traffic better than [insert name of] Avenue, or should I just stay at work until it's over? In all fairness, that last one's a moot question as I'm usually leaving work around about the time I should be getting up to come back. They've given me an office now. Soon I will have a couch put in for those days when I just don't bother coming home at all...
...and why should I bother coming home? The vacuuming, the feeding and watering of the cat, and the cleaning of the litterbox are all handled robotically. Even the shower and toilet clean themselves through the wonders of modern technology. I can leave for weeks at a time and come home to a clean apartment and a content pet.
Last week my credit card number was swiped and the card was cloned. The theives charged up just over a thousand dollars' worth of fraud in one afternoon. I caught on when I stopped to get a pack of smokes and my card was declined. Checked my balance, saw a bunch of charges being made in New York (where I do not, in fact, live or spend a great deal of time) and quickly put a stop to it. So I'm out a grand while the bank investigates each individual fraudulent charge and then reverses it. Could take up to three months... This kind of thing should bother me, but I've got gas in my car and food in the fridge. I've also got a bunch of cash on the night stand and all of my bills are paid, so I'm noticing no effect at all (that is until my Rhapsody subscription comes due and they stop letting me download songs... Then I'll be traumatized) and I can't help but think it's all because I've gotten old.
I do old person things like save, invest and plan for retirement. Kind of pointless, though, because we all know I'll never live long enough to retire.
And as of right now, I'm on call. I may have to go into the office at any given moment. In fact, I know I'll have to go in before the day staff comes on. There is work I need to do unfettered by their tedious questions and naggings. So I'll have to get in and out before 6am, but that's do-able because I won't have to be at work and be tired all day. Because I've given myself the day off. Because I'm the boss. I still can't believe they put me in charge of people... What were they thinking?
Yep. This is about right:
You are Apocalypse
Apocalypse
80%
Magneto
79%
Dr. Doom
70%
Lex Luthor
65%
Venom
54%
Mr. Freeze
49%
Green Goblin
48%
Mystique
48%
Two-Face
48%
Dark Phoenix
45%
Kingpin
44%
The Joker
40%
Juggernaut
40%
Riddler
39%
Catwoman
39%
Poison Ivy
25%
You believe in survival of the fittest and you believe that you are the fittest.
Click here to take the Super Villain Personality Test
...and why should I bother coming home? The vacuuming, the feeding and watering of the cat, and the cleaning of the litterbox are all handled robotically. Even the shower and toilet clean themselves through the wonders of modern technology. I can leave for weeks at a time and come home to a clean apartment and a content pet.
Last week my credit card number was swiped and the card was cloned. The theives charged up just over a thousand dollars' worth of fraud in one afternoon. I caught on when I stopped to get a pack of smokes and my card was declined. Checked my balance, saw a bunch of charges being made in New York (where I do not, in fact, live or spend a great deal of time) and quickly put a stop to it. So I'm out a grand while the bank investigates each individual fraudulent charge and then reverses it. Could take up to three months... This kind of thing should bother me, but I've got gas in my car and food in the fridge. I've also got a bunch of cash on the night stand and all of my bills are paid, so I'm noticing no effect at all (that is until my Rhapsody subscription comes due and they stop letting me download songs... Then I'll be traumatized) and I can't help but think it's all because I've gotten old.
I do old person things like save, invest and plan for retirement. Kind of pointless, though, because we all know I'll never live long enough to retire.
And as of right now, I'm on call. I may have to go into the office at any given moment. In fact, I know I'll have to go in before the day staff comes on. There is work I need to do unfettered by their tedious questions and naggings. So I'll have to get in and out before 6am, but that's do-able because I won't have to be at work and be tired all day. Because I've given myself the day off. Because I'm the boss. I still can't believe they put me in charge of people... What were they thinking?
Yep. This is about right:
You are Apocalypse
Apocalypse
80%
Magneto
79%
Dr. Doom
70%
Lex Luthor
65%
Venom
54%
Mr. Freeze
49%
Green Goblin
48%
Mystique
48%
Two-Face
48%
Dark Phoenix
45%
Kingpin
44%
The Joker
40%
Juggernaut
40%
Riddler
39%
Catwoman
39%
Poison Ivy
25%
You believe in survival of the fittest and you believe that you are the fittest.
Click here to take the Super Villain Personality Test