hey you. i'm in l.a. and that reminds me of u. i know that one of the only notes u wrote to me where when u were locked up and u couldn't come to vien's for my going away thing. i guess u'll never know that i have a new v in my life. u'd love her. she's so cool and ya'll would get along great. well i miss u. i still and always will miss u. i want this to stop hurting at some point. so if u would let me know how. how, not to forget u, but to allow myself to miss u without wanting to cry every second, of every day. i want u to come home. i want to sit on the curb of some fuckin street at some fuckin party and talk like we use to. please please come home. just for a minute or two. fuck good bye again
ok it's me again. i don't know what to say and this keeps getting more and more pathetic every time i post. i want to talk to u. i want u to tell me that i'm making a big deal out of nothing and that i need to chill the fuck out which i know u would say. i can't though. i wish u could talk to him. he would listen to u. maybe u would have this greater view on life now and u could tell me something that no one else could. or at least hold me for a bit. anything. anything at all. would be better then this. why did u get in that fuckin car? u would make him feel better. help him he needs u
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