Not doing well today. Was verbally attacked by store mgmt. That I'm dismissive and stand offish. Huh. I wonder why. They stated they need engagement from all her employee's. I don't have the time or energy to deal with her. Honestly, after that, I just said "Have a nice day". I'm thinking of filing an HR case on her.

I want to just quit. It is all I can do not to lose my temper.

I'm asking for patience. I hate this. I'm not a caregiver. I feel horrible. I wish I could do more. I wish I could afford to pay a nurse to take care of my mom properly. I'm feeling like a failure right now.

It's been 2 months since my dad passed. Mom is grieving hard. Is it the medication that had numbed my emotions? I think I need help. I told Randy yesterday that I feel broken. I don't know what to do.

Today was the day that my dad's ashes were to be scattered. But, with the fires and high heat, Mother Nature put a pause on those plans. Randy and I kept our time off as planned.

My mom needs to learn to be patient. She's also obsessed with bills and money. I get it. You have to make sure you can live, but it's a bit much. feel for her financial planner. Poor guy. He has the patience of Jobe.

22 days. 22. Dad. Waves of uncertainty. Sadness. Anxious. Guilt. Complacent. I did not go to work today. Tired. Needed rest.

Autopilot. That is where I am at. I broke down a little bit on Sunday. My feelings of being sad and angry are present. I also feel like I made a mistake coming back to the Home Department. Oh, well. That, as they say, is that. Saw Carol, who used to be in Fine Jewelry. She called me a blessing. I don't feel like it. I got hit with guilt today. Not ( Read more... )

16 days. Father's day 2024. Father's day no more. My dad has passed. Still numb. I'm so tired.

Not doing well. Angry. Sad. Anxious. I don't feel like I am being heard. Had lunch with mom. Went and ran an errand with mom. Came home. So tired.

Conflicted today. Mom told me the church is organizing a service for my dad. Exactly what he did not want. On Sunday, Father's Day, after lunch, mom and I will sit down and pick photos for a memorial video. I hate this so much. I'll have to go to this service, be around people I don't know. Take in people's energy and condolences. Dad, I'm sorry. I ( Read more... )