part one. stay tuned next tomorry for tales of my parents doing shots with devilduck
Whereupon there is much cursing, some nudity, and several of the deadly sins are seen up close and personal.
Tornadoes came through the area on Friday. This concerned me. All those people trapped in my house for an entire weekend? Aww, hell no!
It all started out with a phone call from the devilduck. I was furiously trying to complete all the work I had to complete. It occurred to me that I hadn’t yet gotten excited when I got her call. Too much worry not enough anticipation. After the phone call I could barely contain myself.
Her freakin’ flight was late. I paced, Carter and I played in the waiting area, and she finally appeared. Daggum it, I loves that Suzie. She was feeling very "directed" and so we started out shopping for food and various and sundry other thangs right away. We went tot he ghetto grocery, and the walmart and may or may not have arrived at the house with four cartloads of groceries, strawberry flip flops, a duck cake mold (suzie insisted - she wanted carter to have a "special cake"), and two gnomes for the frigedator. I believe I may have some countertops, but I ain’t seen ‘em all weekend for the food piled there.
Friday
Friday morning we plotted what we were going to try to get done (namely set the playroom back up and clean the bedroom). Notsomuchluck as there were a phone call at 8 am from some slaphappy as shit travelers. I had just showered as to be nice and fluffy for their arrival and ran out to greet them in my finest of towels.
They slept approximately UKfive minutes before we realized that it was time to pick soy up at the airport. We did have to stop for sustenance and ran through the ralleyburgers on our way, but not enough time to get the glittery pom poms or tofu needed to really ANNOUNCE her arrival. Kristi and Shani were beside themselves and kept waving money at the lady at the drive through yelling "DON’T LET THEM PAY." The lady almost had a breakdown when we wouldn’t let them pay for our food. They must have been ominous what with all the smiling and thrashing around they were doing because she was scared as hell that they were going to do a beat down upon her person when they reached the window.
Soy looks just like all the us pictures you have ever seen of her. Just like.
On the way out the airport we tried to pay for their toll just to be smartasses. The tollbooth dude was very dedicated and refused our money lest they be renegade parkers who had run up a tab. Somehow he missed the idea that he could always ask them for more money if need be. I hate it when my need to smartass is thwarted.
We hit the Liquor Barn on our way home as people were apparently in search of good cheese. We bought a lots of cheese, son. But notsomuch as much liquor as mebbie we should have as to the UK liquor laws prevented us from stocking up on a Sunday. There was also much trying on of pirate hats (though not enough gilbert and sullivan singing as I would have liked) and contemplation of coconut bras for the stripper debut of devilduck at one of the three finest stripjoints down the street aways from my house. No, not the redneck strip club. No, not the booze, boobs and t.v. place. It twere the onest nearest the chinese jimmy buffet.
On the way back from the provisioning up…we stopped in upon the DQ for the requisite aforementioned milkshakes. No lie, they are the best ever…and now I haves the peeps to back me up.
I am a good hostess causin next I then took them to the pie store. Circuitous route, perhaps, but pie store nonetheless. PIE STORE! We came back, we brought pie.
We went to the dollar store next so as to find the bestest most beautimous decorations for the birthday party of the precious babe. It was decided upon that a hawaiian theme was in order. While there we bought UK30 ribbons proclaiming "good eater," "I can tie my shoes," "second place," "I try my best," "it’s a girl," "mom to be," along with very classy shot glasses in the shape of beer steins. Pssst…I am second best and damn proud of it.
Sandy, Scott & Julia arrived and we hastened classic car night at the drive-in restaurant. Most of the cars seemed to be notsomuch there as we had hoped. I dumped the peeps there anyways and went to gets me some tylers at the airport.Kara, Don & Fionna.
The crazy young single types stayed up all the damn night long and didnotsomuch get up early in the morning. Afore I went down stairs there was some loverly talk about pierced, uhm, well, manparts. I'm a sad I missed the rest.
My chilluns, did not get the sleep in memo and were up the next morning at six.
Saturday
There was breakfast making to the extreme.
Then the phoeey, the tylers, and my younguns all descended upon the farmer’s market. There was some peach eating, balloon hat wearing, music listening, and food buying. Good times.
I then tooks the peeps on a whirlwhind tour of nearby berea arts and crafts captial of kentucky. We left Harrison behind, and the ‘rents gave him US2 bowls of ice cream - oneofwhichcontainedstrawberries (a fruit). They is good grandparents.
We ates the pizza, saw the brooms, bought the bird necklaces, and watched glass beads being made. It was the quaintest.
There was gratuitous use of the word "nipple."
We came home and consumed a damn huge amount of food. There were barBque, coleslaw, pasta salad, hot assbutt salsa, blackbean corn dip, sponge candies, chicken, cheesecake and the sad sorry "special" duck cake.there may also have been a disco ball and ABBA with dancin’ chilluns.there was also UK5minutes of Muppet Movie viewing.
Next thing I knew I was being awoken. I ignored it. I was awoken again. I came into the kitchen and saws me some drunkasshit girls decorating the saddest excuse for a cake I ever done seed. It were truly "special. I laughed so hard I thought I would never recover and I were attacked by a suzie. There was much frosting to be smeared on boobages and some nekkid showerin’ to follow.
Tornadoes came through the area on Friday. This concerned me. All those people trapped in my house for an entire weekend? Aww, hell no!
It all started out with a phone call from the devilduck. I was furiously trying to complete all the work I had to complete. It occurred to me that I hadn’t yet gotten excited when I got her call. Too much worry not enough anticipation. After the phone call I could barely contain myself.
Her freakin’ flight was late. I paced, Carter and I played in the waiting area, and she finally appeared. Daggum it, I loves that Suzie. She was feeling very "directed" and so we started out shopping for food and various and sundry other thangs right away. We went tot he ghetto grocery, and the walmart and may or may not have arrived at the house with four cartloads of groceries, strawberry flip flops, a duck cake mold (suzie insisted - she wanted carter to have a "special cake"), and two gnomes for the frigedator. I believe I may have some countertops, but I ain’t seen ‘em all weekend for the food piled there.
Friday
Friday morning we plotted what we were going to try to get done (namely set the playroom back up and clean the bedroom). Notsomuchluck as there were a phone call at 8 am from some slaphappy as shit travelers. I had just showered as to be nice and fluffy for their arrival and ran out to greet them in my finest of towels.
They slept approximately UKfive minutes before we realized that it was time to pick soy up at the airport. We did have to stop for sustenance and ran through the ralleyburgers on our way, but not enough time to get the glittery pom poms or tofu needed to really ANNOUNCE her arrival. Kristi and Shani were beside themselves and kept waving money at the lady at the drive through yelling "DON’T LET THEM PAY." The lady almost had a breakdown when we wouldn’t let them pay for our food. They must have been ominous what with all the smiling and thrashing around they were doing because she was scared as hell that they were going to do a beat down upon her person when they reached the window.
Soy looks just like all the us pictures you have ever seen of her. Just like.
On the way out the airport we tried to pay for their toll just to be smartasses. The tollbooth dude was very dedicated and refused our money lest they be renegade parkers who had run up a tab. Somehow he missed the idea that he could always ask them for more money if need be. I hate it when my need to smartass is thwarted.
We hit the Liquor Barn on our way home as people were apparently in search of good cheese. We bought a lots of cheese, son. But notsomuch as much liquor as mebbie we should have as to the UK liquor laws prevented us from stocking up on a Sunday. There was also much trying on of pirate hats (though not enough gilbert and sullivan singing as I would have liked) and contemplation of coconut bras for the stripper debut of devilduck at one of the three finest stripjoints down the street aways from my house. No, not the redneck strip club. No, not the booze, boobs and t.v. place. It twere the onest nearest the chinese jimmy buffet.
On the way back from the provisioning up…we stopped in upon the DQ for the requisite aforementioned milkshakes. No lie, they are the best ever…and now I haves the peeps to back me up.
I am a good hostess causin next I then took them to the pie store. Circuitous route, perhaps, but pie store nonetheless. PIE STORE! We came back, we brought pie.
We went to the dollar store next so as to find the bestest most beautimous decorations for the birthday party of the precious babe. It was decided upon that a hawaiian theme was in order. While there we bought UK30 ribbons proclaiming "good eater," "I can tie my shoes," "second place," "I try my best," "it’s a girl," "mom to be," along with very classy shot glasses in the shape of beer steins. Pssst…I am second best and damn proud of it.
Sandy, Scott & Julia arrived and we hastened classic car night at the drive-in restaurant. Most of the cars seemed to be notsomuch there as we had hoped. I dumped the peeps there anyways and went to gets me some tylers at the airport.Kara, Don & Fionna.
The crazy young single types stayed up all the damn night long and didnotsomuch get up early in the morning. Afore I went down stairs there was some loverly talk about pierced, uhm, well, manparts. I'm a sad I missed the rest.
My chilluns, did not get the sleep in memo and were up the next morning at six.
Saturday
There was breakfast making to the extreme.
Then the phoeey, the tylers, and my younguns all descended upon the farmer’s market. There was some peach eating, balloon hat wearing, music listening, and food buying. Good times.
I then tooks the peeps on a whirlwhind tour of nearby berea arts and crafts captial of kentucky. We left Harrison behind, and the ‘rents gave him US2 bowls of ice cream - oneofwhichcontainedstrawberries (a fruit). They is good grandparents.
We ates the pizza, saw the brooms, bought the bird necklaces, and watched glass beads being made. It was the quaintest.
There was gratuitous use of the word "nipple."
We came home and consumed a damn huge amount of food. There were barBque, coleslaw, pasta salad, hot assbutt salsa, blackbean corn dip, sponge candies, chicken, cheesecake and the sad sorry "special" duck cake.there may also have been a disco ball and ABBA with dancin’ chilluns.there was also UK5minutes of Muppet Movie viewing.
Next thing I knew I was being awoken. I ignored it. I was awoken again. I came into the kitchen and saws me some drunkasshit girls decorating the saddest excuse for a cake I ever done seed. It were truly "special. I laughed so hard I thought I would never recover and I were attacked by a suzie. There was much frosting to be smeared on boobages and some nekkid showerin’ to follow.