PERFECT WEEKEND.
Monday updates are better - right after the weekend.
FLASHBACK TO LAST TUESDAY... GO!
Tuesday - Red Sox game... lost. :( Brian came over and we played SONIC for a long time. He got mad cause I beat him... figures. :) He left after awhile and I hit the hay - that's about it.
Thursday - Watched Cannon's big episode of Jeopardy. It was great, a few clues and an introduction about himself! love it. I make my roommates watch with me... it's sweet. After I went to Brians' met up with him and Spalding and we went to Rachels. Watched an anime movie and played asshole which is always tons of fun - I suck though, really. Then we walked over to some bus on Cornell's campus that serves food until 3am (which is when we got there) and ate a burger, sort of. After Spalding went back to his dorm and Brian and I went back to his apartment and stayed up for awhile talking about everything going on.
Friday - Woke up and went to classes then back to Brians' around dinner time. We went back to Cornell and hung out with Spalding and a bunch of other guys playing poker. Then played DDR - I watched. Seriously. Back to Brians' after (which was like 4am) and I was exxxhausted.
Saturday - After we finally woke up around 11 and got out of bed at 2 we went for lunch and then to Applefest (JUST LIKE HOLLIS!!! YAY!!!!). It would have been much better had it not been raining. We walked around for awhile and met up with some kids, and ran into KRISTIN! AMAZING. she was a student of Mrs. Plummers from Merrimack, she went to IC but graduated a few years ago, she lives in Rochester now (which is ironic 'cause that's where i wnated to go) but we had been introduced through Plummer Networking and talked online for awhile. She's crazy, love it. Brian and I went to the booksale after (which is like the largest one in the country or something) and wicked cheap. I bought a few things, but i'll go back towards the end when all books are under .50 cents. We went back to his apartment and did dinner and such, noice. We played Tony Hawk and I LET him win ;-) Then I took a nap while he did.... something? Around midnight we left for a party - A PIRATE PARTY. It was cool, i think. I cant decide. It was nice to have free beer and play beruit though. Some girl feel down the stairs and through the glass window - so we pretty much split outta there. Back to Brians' where 3 of us played Shrek and You Dont Know Jack. Good shit.
Sunday - We got up around 2 again and we left. We just sort of drove for 3 hours, stopping at this really small yet elegant restaurant right on Cayuga Lake. It was pricey - but well worth it. Driving around aimlessly listening to 80s Hairbands and 80s Pop makes my life feel worthwhile :) Then I dropped him off and went back to my apartment for the first time in a few days.
I've been thinking about a lot of stuff lately but I feel like I have nobody to talk to. I understand that I do. I know at least one of my roommates will listen, Im sure Brian would, Im sure I could call Craig or Stacey and I know most who read this [though very few] would listen... but still.
I want to know what you think... people keep telling me that I'm very secretive about myself. And I can't decide if I agree or not... what do you think? There are a few aspects of my past I keep hidden like... but for the most part if I'm asked I'll tell. There's only one thing I regret in my life, and after all I've done that's reall not much. But the past is real, it happened, and regretfully, I cant do anything about it now. The ONE thing I dont want to talk about is what people most ask me about though... and I hate saying 'dunno' or changing the subject. I've yet to truly talk to anyone about that though. [i suppose its cruel of me to write this and not tell what exactly i'm talking about, eh?]
During my senior year I used to discuss Lawrence Kohlberg's theory of Moral Development in great detail with people such as Cannon and Balfour. I had a good understanding of this theory and would constantly try to decide which stage I am in. They go as follows:
Level 1: Preconventional (told to do so by an authority figure)
Stage 1: Obedience and punishment
Stage 2: Individualism, Instrumentalism, and Exchange
Level 2: Conventional (formed by society)
Stage 3: "good boy/good girl" (gain approval of others)
Stage 4: Law and Order (abiding to laws)
Level 3: Postconventional
Stage 5: Social Contract (understanding social mutuality and having a genuine interest in others welfare)
Stage 6: Principle Conscience. (respect for universal principle & demands of individual conscience.)
The main idea is that the higher your stage the more 'moral' you are. I think I was more moral of a person in high school though than I am now. I would say now I am not sure what level or stage I am at. I'd like to believe that I'm 5 but sometimes I feel that I am very stuck in 3 (which is supposed to be around the early teen years of life). I try to think of people who fit into these categories and find that it is so much easier to find people for lower levels over higher levels. But seriously, who am I to place anyone in any level - I'm just basing on things I have seen.
This is sort of random to anything going on in my life right now but I guess that I just felt ashamed this weekend when I was at a party with many high schoolers, and even more drop-outs. I just feel that it is highly unlikely that they are 'stupid' I feel that people have just become lazy. It actually makes me sad to see this happen - even though it's more likely than not that I will never see any of this people again. Maybe that moves me higher? Maybe I have more morality towards others than I thought? Maybe I'm just a dreamer.
"you could tell me tonight
that maybe the world would end
That the sun wouldn't rise
And it was gonna rain again
Just as long as he's in my arms
It's gonna be a perfect day."